Which song contains these lyrics?

Well you can't have that but, if you're an American citizen you are entitled to:-
A heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven (don't watch the food cook),
a Dino Gym, all personally demonstrated in the privacy of your own home,
a king-size Titanic unsinkable monogrammed waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in the past with Paul Williams,
a new Matador,
a new Mastodon,
a Maverick,
a Mustang,
a Montego,
a Merc Montclair,
a Mark IV,
a Meteor,
a Mercedes,
an MG
or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty,
a Maserati,
a Mac truck,
a Mazda,
a new Monza
or a moped,
a Winnebago, Hell, a herd of Winnebagos we're giving 'em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple.