I got offered sex by my neighbour the other night...

is she black or white?

after your p/l

if shes's your neighbour why would she need to give u her address?

But is it value?

it was a dream clarky

She's white.

Because she lives in the block of flats next door and gave me the number

Clarky9 03 Dec 21:41


I went out at about 1230am the other night to get one of my cats in and one of female neighbours was out in the car park. She is about 25, South African and introduced herself to me. Then she said that if I ever fancied going round and getting drunk with her and 'messing about' then she was up for it. She gave me her address and toldme she was lonely...

Very Bizarre.....

Perhaps she is trying to set you up, was she one of the birds that tiger woods has been playing around with :^0

....the tragic desperate isolation of urban life....

It's poor Mrs. Clarky I feel sorry for.

Having to live with him and that.

i'll give her some value..

iv been offered sex from my 20yr old neighbour more times than i care to remember, i do treat her now and then.

Clarky, you know what to do. Buy a nice bottle of wine and get her stoked!

be careful back in the 70s my dads m8 went round to do such a thing, women tied him to bed stead, then a bloke came in and bummed him, he never walked the same again

i remember him

:)

:^0

Yorky, so what did you dads mate do afterwards? That can't be the end of the story.

Don't go - she'll get you in there, tease you with a slow strip then just when you're on the point of blowing her huge boyfriend will storm out the wardrobe and club you over the head with his truncheon. You'll be left with a bellend indent on your forehead for life and everyone will know you tried to rim your neighbour.

I mentioned it to the wife when I brought the cat in, she wasn't best pleased....

Mentioned it to some mates and they were a little envious shall we say...

he was never same again his bum was bleeding and when he went for police the flat they was in had been rented in false names sad but true story, my dad often recalled it , we used to pee ourselves laughing

she's just after your passport...

my neighbour offered e sex but she's a women , kinda scarey really trallop

Clarky, it all depends on how desperate you are to empty your balls. Did she give you her phone number too? If you are scared arrange a meet at a neutral venue then back to yours (as long as your Mrs doesn't mind!)

It was Castor Semenya and Clarky9 is going to be bummed to withing an inch of his p&l

yorky 03 Dec 21:48


be careful back in the 70s my dads m8 went round to do such a thing, women tied him to bed stead, then a bloke came in and bummed him, he never walked the same again

Did this bloke start the Bottoms Up chain (off license's!!).

I hope I can speak for the forum when I say we are all incredibly envious as well.

:D lmao deary me

Yes, but Ladycakes I think most women are into the idea aren't they?

Why are you telling us. Just knob the b1tch !!!

No phone numbers exchanged.

Just said to come around anytime

Clarky, did you fancy her, yes or no?

That's adultary though....

If I was single then I'd be up there like a rat up a drainpipe

lmao not all of us

Lady, I've been surprised at the number of women who've told me they think about it, although never having done it.

Right Clarky, I've just missed laying something (and it wasn't a South African girl!) reading this. Get round there and stop messing about!

some women yes i agree , what**s we have in this world lol

it sounds like she wants some company really but sadly can only get it by offering the carrot of sex

Based on the number who told me I've generally assumed it was all women! But thats me always jumping to conclusions!

Should I just go round for a cup of tea and a chat then?

no claky smash her back doors in for gods sake

im sure she'd be happy with just that. a lot of people are lonely in the big smoke

clarky get the chipolata out m8 and get round there now, tell the missus your neighbour needs a good seeing to :^0

children please

OK Clarky, I'll help you get over the guilt factor. Go see the girl, come back and then show your wife how much you love her too!

Win double, no messing!

the irony as it was you who went out looking for pussey

:D love it

Lozzy 03 Dec 21:54


Why are you telling us. Just knob the b1tch !!!

Good to see Cyrano De Bergerac posting on the forum.

My mate offered to fill in for me...

Not sure she would take anyone though.

and why not , she sounds desperate

post addy up then.....

Don't think she's after anyone. Probably had her eye on me for a while.....

introduce her to the chitchat forum if she's looking for company :^0 - could double the female presence!

how many cats have you got clarky?

This thread could have legs as well ;)

clarky, get your ladder out and head for her bedroom window, as you look in the window, no doubt other neighbour's are in her bedroom ;)

2 cats

sweet, I've got 2, have to keep them seperated though. Stray has to sleep outside in kennel.

Nice one

Is her name Anna Whitney ?..

That put an end to the discussion. lol

What should I do if I see her?

just say hello and lengthen your stride imo

smile, tell her how good she looks and say you haven't been able to stop thinking about her.

YOU ARE A DESPERATE FANTASIST (NAP)

It's 100% true.

:^0

Lifes too short just give her your throbbing thrill hammer

I kinda suspect that this may be fantasy, as if it is true...why on earth would you be asking us what you shoudl do??? You seem delusional, as you say she wouldn't want your mate and you reckon she has had her eye on you for some time. Get over yourself!

Clarky9 03 Dec 21:41
I went out at about 1230am the other night to get one of my cats in and one of female neighbours was out in the car park. She is about 25, South African and introduced herself to me. Then she said that if I ever fancied going round and getting drunk with her and 'messing about' then she was up for it. She gave me her address and toldme she was lonely...

Very Bizarre.....

your neighbour gave you her address... yawn

shoot her in the face

She lives in one of the flats, hence the address...

.. the old car park trick hey

If she lived as you say now in a block of flats you would have said 'she gave me her flat number' not
'she gave me her address'

Did she give you her postcode as well ?

:D :D

Everything's Gone Green 03 Dec 21:54
I hope I can speak for the forum when I say we are all incredibly envious as well.
====================
Not of Yorky's Dad's mate we're not :0 :0

curious-cat 04 Dec 02:35
Did she give you her postcode as well ?

===========
SYPH1 LI5

council wallers thread

Its 10 hours & 49 minutes since I was offered sex by a neighbour
BTW I have won £31,000 in the last three months.

Is there any chance these two amazing events are connected ?

Wear a rubber, chances are she's got the lurgi bearing in mind where she comes from.

WALOFS !

why would choose to go out at 12.30am to get one of your cats in - not got a cat flap?

Ive heard this bird has a *****like a cat flap if that helps

6 inch on the slack.?

council wallers thread NAP

We shut our cats in at night

gilbzy 03 Dec 22:27
Is her name Anna Whitney ?..

:^0

the fact your still on this thread clarky tells me you want to slap your salami on her dofflegangers you dirrrrrrrtyyyyyyyyyyy boyyyyyyy

LOL

Clarky9 - does he post fantastical profit/loss figures every now and again to amuse us? Or is that some other master of fiction?