I hope it goes well and feel for you. Practice saying your remarks beforehand and you won't find it so hard. Speak to the people at the back when you talking.

Hi clarky, Our thoughts will be with you tommorrow m8, i am sure it will all be fine (even though terribly sad, for you and your family!!). Stay strong m8 as he would want you to.

Thanks guys.

Will let you know how it went tomorrow night

A few years ago, we lost the first one of "our circle" to cancer. He had been battling for years and lived on his own till just four days before the tumour in his head took over.

It was the first time since I moved from Canada that I truly felt a million miles from my friends. I called in a favour and got a seat on BA and headed back.

For his family, it was a trip to Montreal from out west as well and we gathered at the pub in Westmount he had been going to for ten years. The speeches started. One by one they said how "life would not be the same without him". After the third or fourth speech that carried the same message, I found myself sensing Jamie would find this all too serious for his liking.

I wasn't supposed to speak but went up when I found a chance. The room was so heavy and I felt a bit for his parents. They had accepted their son was going to die before them. His friends, though, who had been with him through the rough years, had not.

It doesn't matter what I said. But what I did was reached back through the years and found four or five adventures that made us laugh. Seriously laugh. Not embarrasing him or anyone. Just moments that were legendary. His mother and father were howling as I recounted something from our teen years that at the time got us both grounded for four weeks, his father now seeing the funny side of their family mercedes floating down the Ottawa River after a series of quick events that were of Ferris Bueller proportions as the "untold story" came out.

And I also announced to everyone that on my last visit to James I had found a box in his flat by the door with around 200 unopened envelopes from the City of Montreal. His car had an Ontario license plate which makes conviction on fines difficult. He had racked up over $6,000 in fines over two years parking wherever he wanted, when he wanted! :D

When I finished and returned to the bar, my friend Alaster said "thanks, it was getting pretty depressing in here." And the rest of the evening, a sombre event was full of circles sharing tales with each other.

It is always hard when we lose someone. They are part of the fabric of our life. I still miss Jamie. His 50th birthday will be this year. But with death as it is with life, it's important to find that moment to make everyone laugh. It will be the domino that clicks happy memories for everyone and will make a cloudy day seem sunny.

larrence,

I feel for you. Reminds me of my dear old dad who never knew his dad, as he was killed when my dad was a baby.
When my dad was dying with cancer one of his brothers told him how thrilled to bits has dad was when he was born. When my dad told me that his brother had told him that a huge smile lit up his pained face. Still chokes me up thinking about it.

Hopefully you still have some memories of your mum and how much she loved (and hopefully still does) you.

SonofDunc 16 Nov 23:02


larrence,

I feel for you. Reminds me of my dear old dad who never knew his dad, as he was killed when my dad was a baby.
When my dad was dying with cancer one of his brothers told him how thrilled to bits has dad was when he was born. When my dad told me that his brother had told him that a huge smile lit up his pained face. Still chokes me up thinking about it.

Hopefully you still have some memories of your mum and how much she loved (and hopefully still does) you.

Thankyou for kind words and sorry to hear about your dad's loss.
Sadly i was only 4 when my mum died, she went in hospital with an asthma attack and never came out again, found cancer.
So sadly i never knew her m8, it so breaks my heart thinking about it, but i have the belief, there is life after death and i will have a reunion oneday, give her a kiss, tell her how much i have missed her and love her, and we will never lose each other again, promise me mum i would say.
Good luck to you in your life......

gl sir. Dont know you from Adam but i wish you well with this difficult task and in this difficult time..

whata thread inspiring stuff.

Thought I was going to be OK when we arrived, but then my Mum was in floods of tears as we were following the coffin in and I broke down.

My two younger brothers and I went up and said a few words which went down quite well. My Uncle who was over from Ireland gave me some money towards the funeral, as I had agreed to pay for the whole funeral.

We then went back to Howard's favourite pub for a few drinks.

Nice words Larrence ;)

Clarkey: Well done mate but dont forget your mum, she will need lots of help and support.

Good luck pal.