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Slow motion food on TV ads.
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Plasterboard.
When dry, structural integrity of cake (one of Mrs Evil's); when wet, structural integrity of wet cake. If you drill into it dust rains down on you; it's impossible to**anything to it. Surely someone can come up with a better building material - The Dragons' Den awaits ... |
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crediter 10 Nov 11:28
deadliest catch....they neve get bitten by a crab... Nobody on the planet, I would imagine, ever got bitten by a crab. |
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The operas of George Frideric Handel.
Noisy shoes. Bright lights on telly screens, when watching the footy in the pub. Formula One & rugby on the radio instead of footy. When footy is on the radio, the use of 2 commentators & a pundit. One of each is enough. Plug shows. |
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The way the volume goes UP WHEN THE FACKING ADVERTS COME ON then dies down when they are finished.
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The wife grinding her teeth in her sleep.
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Does she still do it ?
Told me she was going to stop. |
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When fastext is slow, drives me feckin mental
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some accents
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my colleague eating a sandwich with a bottle of OJ. a hippopotamus probably makes less chewing and slurping noises.
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Dishes in the sink
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Inappropriate Erections, buses etc.
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toilet seats that don't stay up, so you have to adopt an awkward**over stance with dick in one hand and toilet seat in the other
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People who press the button on a pelican crossing but cross the road before the green man, and are well out the way by the time the traffic stops. One day this will be the final push that sends me on a killing rampage.
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^ that is fun
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Bands that insist on playing their woeful dirges at full volume even though they're performing in a room the size of an ensuite.
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Haven't bothered to read the thread, so there is every chance it's mentioned here somewhere else, although it's such a common, sickeningly life tilting piece of joke behaviour, that most men will presume it certainly does bother everyone else:
Women at cash machines, getting the receipt, mincing around with some tin pot purse, looking at the atm as if it's something NASA created and they need a degree to operate it. Then even having the gaul to count their money before departing from the required space, and glancing back at the machine as if it's unreliable and may have conned them! Absolute half wit **s. |
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LITTER
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My missus went out and bought 'soft close' toilet seats (close slowly, like the Joneses have got).
EXCEPT she never puts the **in lid down anyway, so why bother? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People who never empty the bin. My missus (again) and also a bloke I used to share a flat with who when he had something too big for the bin (like a pizza box) he'd put it NEXT to the bin. Why? Hoping that I'll dispose of it you lazy**? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Train announcements that say we are arriving 'into' a station rather than 'at' one. Grrrrrrrrr! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People who put their wine glasses (still full) on the floor (like my sister when she comes round) and you KNOW someone will knock it over soon. And they do! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People who marvel at Chinese civilisation as they invented chopsticks. They're sticks! What about the guy who invented the fork, give him some credit ffs! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People who put in apostrophes when none is required, as in plurals. Halfwits. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People who sit in the McD's car park at 11am on Sundays with their kids chomping away at ** knows what for their Sunday lunch. Child abuse and it MUST stop! |
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HRH The Lager Khan 10 Nov 20:20
People who press the button on a pelican crossing but cross the road before the green man, and are well out the way by the time the traffic stops. One day this will be the final push that sends me on a killing rampage. Oh yes. Especially at 6am when the one car within half a mile has to stop because dick head pressed the button automatically like a trained monkey. |
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The song 'American Pie'. I absolutely cannot stand this twee, up its own ar*e, "listen-to-me-i'm so meaningful", heap of shi*e. Every time it comes on the radio I have to turn it off immediately. Its not just a case of disliking the song. There's many cr*p songs out there but I can handle them.
The only thing worse is listening to a group of people singing along to it, nodding meaningfully to each other. Spew Central. "Drove my Chevy to the Levy........." Give me strength. |
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Weather forecast, ffs!
Get up in the morning, go out and - oh, surprise - it's even rainy, sunny, cloudy etc. Don't have to have a mupped that tells me what it will be like (most of the time gets it wrong anyway). Add to that all the pointless tactics to start a conversation. "Oooh, hot today, innit?" Glad you spotlight, would not have noticed myself, ffs!!! |
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When people make speech marks with their fingers, I get the urge to snap them off. Pretentious in the extreme. Anyone doing it in my presence may end up looking like Abu Hamza.
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singing along to a classic song such and the good wife changes station... :0
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*such as american pie
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Yes - she would be a good wife!
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Got to agree with HRH above.
And people who say 'methinks', 'anyways' and 'laters' get on my wick. |
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clifton methinks she is a good wife anways catchya laters dude!
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When you're reading a paper and you can tell that the person sat/stood beside you is peering over and reading it too. The worst is when you don't even know the person. Petty? Yes, but it drives me mad!!!
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In the office, people who bang on constantly about their kids, usually fat arsed ugly women with no social life or other interests.
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If it's Tom Petty, that WOULD be annoying.
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When you're sitting next to someone on a train and they are reading the paper and notice you're also reading it so they turn the page. P1sses me right off.
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Those f&ckin stainless steel teapots you get in nearly every tea/coffee shope where its impossible to pour without it spilling all over the place...
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Haha Joel. As soon as I clock that you're reading it, I'd turn over EVEN if I hadn't finished the part I was reading. That's just how I roll....
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people who get on trains/buses before everyone has departed. This isn't France ffs.
people who genuinely say 'simples', don't deserve the fragile gift of life quite frankly. I will not even try to express the way I feel about anyone who says 'lol' in actual spoken conversation. |
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I agree bacontrout, I purposely bump into them if I am getting off. Have knocked a few old ladies down though.
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I loathe the rubber mats on bars that have replaced beer towels. They just hold the moisture ready for me to stick my elbow in them. Whoever invented them wants to keep well out of my way; I would do my time cheerfully.
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uneven paving....fked quite a few stilettos....barstewards!
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When you're crossing the road (on foot) at a roundabout and the person turning left does not use their indicator so you walk out in front of them.
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Suprised the ' absolutly' brigade have not been mentioned, it realy grips my s hit. Absolutly, absolutly used as a reply after every sentence.
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