I got dragged to the Asda in Clapham yesterday, to my knowledge it is the first time I've ever been in one of their outlets and I was pleasantly surprised I must say. Really nice strawberries and grapes and a seafood linguine which was about £3 quid I think that was rather good as well.

Be careful Monsieur P

A woman who was tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on her husband with herself as the beneficiary.

A 'friend of a friend' was contacted who put her in touch with a dark-side, underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the wifey that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.

The wifey said he was willing to pay that amount, but that she wouldn't have the cash until she could collect her husbands insurance money.

Artie insisted the wifey paid him something up front, so the wifey opened her purse, and showed Artie the single pound coin. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the murder.

A few days later, Artie followed the woman's man to the local Asda where he surprised him in the fruit & veg department. He then proceeded to strangle him with his bare hands, but as the poor unsuspecting man drew his last breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the fruit & veg department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the fruit & veg manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements and clever charity box ruse with the callous wifey.

The next day in the newspaper,the headline declared............"Artie chokes 2 for a pound in Asda"

if the missus told me she was going to WASDA i dump her

but she already dump me

8 Year Old thread I wonder what the Outcome was