PREMIER DIVISION SATURDAY 12th April

Cinderella, Thumberlina and Quasimodo are out for dinner when Norris Mcwhirter interrupts their meal and tells them they may all be record breakers, Cinderella for the the most beautiful, Thumberlina for the smallest and Quasimodo for the ugliest in all the world.

He invites them down to Guinness headquarters for confirmation the next day.

The next day the three of them are sitting outside Norris Mcwhirters office and they are called in one at a time.

Cinderella goes in first and after short while comes out with a big smile and declares 'its official, I am the most beautiful person  in the world'

In next goes Thumberlina, she too comes out after a short while with a big smile and declares 'its true, I am the smallest in all the world'

Last to go in is Quasimodo, after a few minutes he comes out looking all glum and dejected, "What ever is the matter?" asks Cinderella, to which Quasimodo replies angrily..."Who the f**k is petemac?"

Lifted from Bigmo`s joke thread on chit chat

Sausalito Sunrise - 1.55 Bangor
Thank you.

POS	CHG	FORM	NAME	SELECTION	RESULT	+/-	TOTAL
1	+3	nn-1n11	I am the one and only 223 (3)	7.35 - Jubilee Brig	Won 5/1	5.00	£6.83
2	-1	1333012	buffythebookieslayer	3.05 - Scotland	Lost	-1.00	£6.75
3	-1	10-1130	Ming The Merciless (1)	No selection	n/r	0.00	£6.38
4	+14	10-033n	hong kong fooey (1)	8.35 - Red Cape	Won 6/1	6.00	£4.25
5	+7	31-0311	china castle	4.15 - Lucky Beggar	Won 5/1	5.00	£4.18
6	-1	10-1021	tryoffagain (1)	No selection	n/r	0.00	£1.26
7	-4	1201012	deadbrain59	3.50 - Tap Night	Lost	-1.00	£0.93
8	+3	00-nn21	Hilly (2)	2.20 - Seebright	Won 10/11	0.91	£0.22
9	-3	12-3011	old applejack	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	£0.13
10	-3	01-0211	Moose	5.15 - Be My Gal	2nd 13/8	-1.00	-£0.02
11	-3	00-1201	BinocularsNotNeeded	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£0.31
12	-3	0n-1211	soldieroffortune (1)	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£0.89
13	-3	01-1211	Cloughie1	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£1.67
14	+13	12-3022	mini me	2.10 - Vibrato Valtat	Won 5/2	2.50	-£1.68
15	-2	00-10n1	stealthgun (1)	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£1.84
16	-2	02101n1	ardgirl (1)	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£2.03
17	-2	10-2011	learning thegame (1)	6.05 - Sir Frank Morgan	Lost	-1.00	-£2.04
18	-2	0011211	DubaiPrince	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£2.42
19	-2	1002100	look - its snowing	4.20 - Snowell	Lost	-1.00	-£2.71
20	-1	3001100	warrick hunt	3.40 - Hors De Combat	Lost	-1.00	-£2.93
21	-1	01-1221	shearer2therestcue	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£3.00
22	-1	01-1210	potlessagain	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£3.29
23	-1	10-1220	general custer	5.45 - Dorset Cream	Lost	-1.00	-£3.37
24	-1	0011211	SkyAtlantic	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£3.67
25▼	-1	00-0211	Horny38DD	2.00 - Magical Memory	Lost	-1.00	-£3.80
26▼	-1	02-1211	salmon spray	2.10 - Sign Of A Victory	2nd 4/11	-1.00	-£4.17
27▼	-1	10-1030	caulkhead	6.35 - Gold Approach	Lost	-1.00	-£5.12
28▼		000n020	top2rated	4.00 - Windpfeil	Lost	-1.00	-£6.00

Three previous multiple winners of the premier division all made a move today.

hkf came out slightly in front with Red Cape. 223 took over at the top with jubilee Brig. china was a lucky beggar mini me took on the fav in the 2.10 and it paid off. Hilly also hit the back of the net.

Good luck Saturday troops.

Who the fu** is Pete Mac?

I was in Dublin for my 40th Birthday with 10 mates (yes 10 mates Soldier, true) the lad who told me it done the voices and all the face expressions, the lot. I have never laughed so much in my life at a joke "it's a classic" done at the right time.
Especially if you have a little short arsed spotty specky mate who is sat listening and finds himself as the punch line. I nearly choked on my Guiness.
I owe you one Shane. (TW**)

Dubai Dynamo - 7.20 Wolv

255 new kingman


For warrick hint

Evening Shane,

My Tent Or Yours - 2.40 Ayr.

Many thanks.

Evening Pete

Hi Shane I am staying dry tonight as driving early in the morning have you had a couple of pints?

When you going to Vegas pete ?

I have not Pete, a cup of char with my electronic ciggy.

Pete, wouldn`t you be better with someone posting for you during your 5 days away? You`re bottom.

Hi Salmon flying early Sunday morning but driving to Derby 6.45am  tomorrow morning to watch our Kirsty in yet another away game.
We will see her to the coach after the game then staying overnight at premier inn at Manchester Airport.
We will spend Saturday afternoon somewhere between Derby and Manchester not sure where yet but somewhere with a decent town centre were she can look around the shops and I can watch a few good races at Ayr. Do you have any suggestions?

Shane I like a challenge I got myself a nice 10/1 winner for tomorrow unfortunately it had already run todayI am confused with the time zone even before I get to the airport.
Gone for a 20/1 shot instead bit overpriced with My Tent at the weights on a couple of past runs.I have had the £20 e/w on that I went to put on the above winner.
Relegation looks odds on this month but I will give it a go when I return.

Good luck tomorrow and say hello to Vegas for me

Think i`ll concentrate on Newbury Saturday.

I backed Battle Group for the Grand National and when it refused BVic kindly refunded me my stake as a free bet.
I have to stick with it again tomorrow. If I was at home I would back it on here just after the off but as I am away will have to take the chance at 40/1.

Its very quiet for a Friday Night I assume you are all out enjoying yourselves. (cept shane he will be sat with his cuppa in one hand electronic gadget in the other and his trousers around his ankles, watching porn)
Best of Luck everyone I will be back posting Easter Monday.

Sausolito Sunrise 1.55 Bangor thanks

english man 3.25 th.

Sausalito Sunrise 1.55 Bangor

Have a great one Pete. Should be fun the Yanks trying to understand what you`re saying

Sausalito Sunrise 1.55 Bang


Thanks Shane.  Good luck all and remember

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Highland Duke - 3.30 Newb

Thanks.

Sausolito Sunrise 1.55 Bangor
cheers

Green Flag - 3.50 Ayr

ta

Klynch - 2.15 Thirsk

Thanks Shane

No selection today - thanks

Horny38DD ~

My Tent or Yours - 2.40 Ayr

Thanks

Sausolito Sunrise 1.55 Bangor

Same selection for Dubai Shane ta

Tidal Bay - 3.50 Ayr
Cheers

Tinghir - 3.30 Newbury

Thanks Shane

Royal Connoisseur-2.50 Thirsk

caulkhead

Kingman - 2.55N

mini me

Mutakayyef - 1.20N

Cheers

Sausalito  Sunrise 1.55 Bangor thanks

for Look its Snowing

Icy Lady - 2.30 Navan

Hmmm.
Nice to see somebody announcing they are taking the tactical approach to the 5 "rest" days.
Could GEORGE B please note that neither I nor soldier was the first       

Afternoon shane

No selection for me today

Thanks

Like bleedin buses

cant be many 1/7 shots today

Fidway good to see you pouring it on at the top of Div 1 this month!

11/8 winner for you yesterday mate and you've almost escaped the relegation zone, clearly you're some kind of genius to pick them out at that price!

Ted Brother 5.45 Thirsk

cheers soldier. nice of you to give me some praise.it was all in the formbook though

Testing - 7.50 Wolves