Yorky Pud

Today I am feeling a little under the weather, green around the gills, sick as a dog and rough as a badger's behind. The reason for this is four measly pints of Stella. That is right, four pints. Not fourteen, four. I have turned into a complete wuss, or at least my body has.

I rarely drink lager when I am out and it is even more rare that when I do I choose Stella. Lager gasses me up and makes me pee a lot so I generally stick to proper ale, after all I am a Yorkshireman. Last night I fancied a change so faced with a choice of Fosters or Stella I chose the latter as I wouldn't use Fosters for anything other than putting out a BBQ. It's like piss. The decision was even easier when I discovered the Koala urine was £3.10 a pint, Lollerskates.

Anyway, the reason for me being in the pub was for a quiz night that is held there every Thursday and Sunday. My in-laws go most Thursdays and now that we have moved within five minutes walk from them they asked if I wanted to tag along. I accepted their offer, despite feeling absolutely shattered and not at all intellectual, and to cut a long story short we didn't win or even come close to it. Meh. I even lost at “Play Your Cards Right,” proving that anything to do with gambling I am **** in. The first card was an eight so I changed it and they gave me a three. Higher. It was a six, oh come on. Higher. An eight. FML. Lower? A seven. You're having a chuffing laugh mate. Higher. Four. F**k right off. I am destined to never win anything at cards I am sure of it now. So no win in the quiz, ripped off at play your cards right and hangover from hell to boot. Have I mentioned that I only had four pints?

Before I sauntered off to the pub I booked my flights so that I can go an work as the live blogger for the upcoming stop in Slovenia on the World Poker Tour. What a carry on that was too and I've run even worse with the flight times that I did guessing which cards were higher or lower. Last week I could book flights for £250 but I was completely peppermint so had to hang fire. I book them last night and they had gone up to £320. FML again. Not only that but the only way to keep the costs under £500-750 was to accept ridiculously early flight times so I am going to be like a bloody zombie by the time I actually get to Portoroz on Saturday 16 July.

My flight from Manchester leaves at 0650 so I will have to be at the airport for about 0450. The only way I can do this is to pay some numpty to drive me there because I can't be waking the kids up at 0330 to come with me so the Mrs isn't left without a car all week, or get the train. However, the only train I can catch that will get to to the airport in time is the one that arrives there at 0115. So a nice five hour 35 minute wait for me in the airport then. Oh and it gets better. My flight from Manchester actually only takes me as far as Munich, Germany where I sit around for another three hours before flying to, wait for this, Trieste in Northern Italy. I kid you not. From there I have to try and get a taxi, which will set me back about £100, to Portoroz in Slovenia. Good times will be had for sure. I can imagine myself falling asleep in the back of the cab and waking up in some dungeon where some uber-rich geek is about to hold a blowtorch to my Mr Lumps like in the Tarrantino film, Hostel. Oh I almost forgot, my return flights start at 0635 so I will finish work at about 2230 on Thursday night and have to be in Trieste airport at 0400! Can hardly wait guv.

The crappy travelling aside, I am actually quite looking forward to the tournament, though it will be the first time I cover a poker tournament by myself and there will be hardly any of the regular staff or players there due to fact the World Series of Poker Main Event will have kicked off. Fingers crossed that it goes well because if it does it could mean regular work with the WPT and that can never be a bad thing can it?

As always, thanks for reading and best of luck at the tables.