Storm - went down like a lead ballon as opposed to a storm
Paige - Chubby Checkers love child keeps getting rancid songs and even more rancid wardrobe designs.
Cher - Twiggys thin sister. Looks and sings like a drowned rat.
John 'the hat'/Racheal Adadego - wonderful, melodic and a nice chap. Pity this contest is not about singing talent otherwise he would do well.
Katie Waissel space - couldn't care if she sang like an angel, (she doesn't), can't stand her
Two Puffs and no Piano - and no discernible talent
Miguel Angel Jiminez - Knows his audience. Booby gropes will see this karaoke king through several shows yet
Rebecca Ferguson - sings better than she looks in a swimsuit.
Aiden Grimshaw - 1.01 to appear on Crimewatch at some point on Ravs i.d parade. Probably for deception. Impersonating a singer.
Mary Byrne - If she practices as much as she eats then will continue to thrive
Matt Cardle - Can't comment as was having a dump
One Direction - Can't comment as was spelling my order, name and inside leg measurement for the 26th time to the latest Latvian Papa Johns pizza employee
The Judges:
Simon - Lucky to have 16 'geniuses' and recording artists according to him. According to the sane masses he will be lucky to have one.
Louis - sounding more like my grandma every week. Everyone and everything is wonderful. Is to objectivity what Hitler was to the Nobel Peace Prize.
Danni - Clearly had PMT tonight. Last seen with her snout in a family bag of maltesers.
Cheryl - Needs a good meal. I have a nice T Bone she is welcome to have a little a nibble on. Knows as much about music as I do about cross stitching.
Yes it was almost car crash mental breakdown stuff. He couldn't hit the notes in rehearsals so he went for a "performance" like last week to hide his vocal weakness.
Teenies and some mums will make sure he is ok this time but if he ca't hit the high notes he can't win.
Bad choice of song by Dannii. Should have played safe.
Yes it was almost car crash mental breakdown stuff. He couldn't hit the notes in rehearsals so he went for a "performance" like last week to hide his vocal weakness.Teenies and some mums will make sure he is ok this time but if he ca't hit the high n