Tradefair & Financials
There is currently 1 person viewing this thread.
17 Oct 08
09:06
Joined:
Date Joined:
09 Sep 03
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the fcuk out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive. ]:)
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the fcuk out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive. ]:)
sort by:
Show
per page
Replies: 26
|
By:
Catch me
Very amusing, and of course very true. |
|
By:
Very good :D
|
|
By:
:^0
|
|
By:
:-)
|
|
By:
ttt :^0
|
|
By:
:) :)
|
|
By:
]:)
|
|
By:
Best post I've read in a very long time.
What's the source ? |
|
By:
Glad you enjoyed it.........
My New Zealand sheep farmer sent it to me :^0 |
|
By:
That is hilarious thanks for posting
|
|
By:
Exellent.
|
|
By:
Ever wonder what AN IRISH CORPORATION would do ?????
Answers on the back of a 'brown envelope' please :^0 |
|
By:
ttt
|
|
By:
After the recent PORK scare........
reb 11 Dec 23:20 wrote....... You have two cows. You're glad they're not pigs. |
|
By:
]:)
|
|
By:
Guess you didn't spot this one yet fullback
|
|
By:
Full
And I thought you knew a thing or two about the Economy |
|
By:
I know nuttin about money.
I do know about 'Tornados' though :D |
|
By:
A British Citizen
They each have one cow They put it in the Bank for safe keepng The Bankers have them butchered and sell the meat for a high profit. The Govt goes around and buys all the meat back and pays for plastic surgery to put al the cows back together again They then bill the Citizens for the cost of the Plastic Surgery and put the cows back in the bank for safekeeping |
|
By:
*all
|
|
By:
Anybody got any more
|
|
By:
A "NEW" AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You paint one of them white and the other black. You spend a fortune on a election, trying to sell the white one to the public (They think its a bull). After the election and a 3 day long party, you put the black one in a white house. The hired consultants then analyse why the white cow is still taking bull as the black one goes on holidays to Hawaii for 4 years. |
|
By:
ttt
|
|
By:
^ Tornedo :^0
|
|
By:
what about Irish corporation cow??
whats this ttt mean?? not up wit the forum slang yet? |
|
By:
It means to the top
|