jokes

why do fat chicks give the best **s?

cos you know they'll swallow

A bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got one
minute to get out!'

The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you **!'

unfortunately an athlete has been stripped of his gold medal at the paralympics after testing positive for wd40

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best mate." Bartender says, "You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your mate arrives to pour his?" The guy says, "Oh, I want them both now. I've got my best mate in my pocket here." He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks, "You mean to say, he can drink that much?" "Oh, sure. He can drink it all and then some," the man retorted. So, the bartender pours the 2 shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing!" says the bartender. "What else can he do? Can he walk?" The man flicks a 10p coin down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Rodney, go fetch that coin." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the coin and runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing!" he says. "What else can he do? Does he talk?" The man looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in his eye and says,
"Talk? Sure he talks. Hey, Rodney, tell him about that time we were in down in Africa, on safari, hunting and you called that native Witch doctor an cnut!"

as Alan Partridge might say ..

Yer Darft Racist

Man walks into the doctors with a peanut stuck in his ear.

The doctor tells him to pour some choclate in it and it will come out a treat

boom

Lionel Richie has opened a new Muslim Butchers shop..........

Halal, is it meet you're looking for....

or even "meat"

lol ^