Forum Xmas Panto 2014; Blackadder Comes Fourth

Scene I: Tipperary, Wartime

[   This image is no longer available.   ]

General Melchett (Borneo): I have it on good authority that the Combined Forces are massing at Thurles and planning an audacious gambling coup.  I want a piece of that action.  Now how much should we stake this time?

General Melchett (Borneo): You look surprised, Blackadder.

Captain Blackadder (Paulie): I certainly am, sir. I didn't realise we had any Staking Plans.

General Melchett (Borneo): Well, of course we have! How else do you think our gambles are directed?

Captain Blackadder (Paulie): Our gambles are directed, sir?

General Melchett (Borneo): Well, of course they are, Blackadder, directed according to the Grand Plan

Captain Blackadder (Paulie): Would that be the plan to continue gambling with total abandon until we are as poor as a church mouse that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

General Melchett (Borneo): Great Scott! Even you know it!

[   This image is no longer available.   ]

Lieutenant George (Scouse Tony):  Permission to throw every last penny I have at the Bumper, Sir.

Ah Brilliant, absolute genius of an effort

Would imagine Pa has no idea who they are though as he has just Rte 1 and network 2

[   This image is no longer available.   ]

Lieutenant George (Scouse Tony):  I want to see how a gambling coup is pulled off… so badly.

Blackadder (Paulie): Well, you've come to the right place, Tony. A gambling coup hasn’t been planned this badly since Moneytree layed a double on Mon Mome to win the National and Sole Power to win the Nunthorpe.

[   This image is no longer available.   ]

Blackadder (Paulie): Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Baldrick (Wonks): If we can just sport the horse owners arriving in their whirly birds, Sir.

Blackadder (Paulie): As a special reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday. Did you enjoy it? Right.

Thurles Racecourse:

[   This image is no longer available.   ]

Baldrick (Wonks):  Fourth…….Hoorah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blackadder (Paulie): Everything goes over your head, doesn't it, Wonks? You should go to Jamaica and become a limbo dancer.

Post Mortem at The Horse and Jockey

[   This image is no longer available.   ]

Blackadder (Paulie): Naturally the great gambling coup was a fiasco, a coup which would have been a damn sight simpler if we had just stayed in L@dbrokes and played FBOTS all week.

~ THE   END ~

brilliant!!

That's the funniest thing ive ever seen on any forum......well done ozy.....
General Melchett tops the lot.....

Great stuff.

I even switched to the new forum to have a look at it!

http://community.betfair.com/football/go/thread/view/94070/30175825/stoke-wont-scoreso-this-game-is-now-over?post_id=539141855#539141855

Funniest contribution I have seen on any forum. Well done paulie.

Top notch!!

u and i are jealous were not in it callit?!?!?

Great work

I work in Fawlty Towers Kav.....that's enough comedy action for me!

A somewhat unwanted promotion for me as I preferred it when I was the Major.

I still laugh at the Fawlty Towers repeats but must admit I never saw the programme above so all flying a bit over my head.

Lord Flashheart?

very disappointed that was not me tbh reb?

Glad you all enjoyed it   Lapsy and Wonks yet to show up to take their bow.

Funnily enough I did have Kingrat in as Lord Flashheart but his scenes were cut!

Borneo, surprised you never caught the series, well worth a look.

Ozy you should know by now Pa Lapsy does not do humour in any shape or form.

Certainly one of the great tv comedy series of all time especially the last 2, Its a pity Borneo never saw  Blackadder he would have enjoyed General Melchett; not to sure if W/R would like to be Portrayed as  Baldrick ;Brilliantly played by  Sir Tony Robinson. Welldone ozy

Very funny Ozzy, Sure even those featured had a laugh themselves.

Gutfeeling, you tube have loads of outtakes , worth a look.

Will have a look Frank60, Cheers.

I started off as Captain Mainwaring.
I was then elevated to Major,the one looking for the papers in Fawlty Towers.
I now have become a General
At this rate in 2015 I will become a hero of mine,Rommel.

Not true Rocketfingers,still laughing at your Cheltenham Jaxx experience,we all know the rep that was on that day.

What experience in Cheltenham toilets?

Ozy can fill ya in with that one(no pictures please).

pa is rumbled by this whole panto thing imo!

Pity there isn't a hippo part for you.

Pa is annoyed, lack of any sort of wit is costing him dearly on this thread, he fails to see the funny side of Ozy posts.

Clearly didn't want any part in this xmas panto by the looks of it!

Seems to have a new found fascination with hippo's now for some odd reason...

If you go down to Djakadam hennessey thread you compared Monbeg Dude to one and said he hadn't a hope in hell,he was 4th at 25/1,go back and read your comments at me.

Yes I did say it hadn't a hope in hell and never at any stage looked like winning, was beaten out of sight, if they went around on 4 more circuits it might have finished closer

^ 19 and 1/4 lengths, for the win but it wasn't about that and says a lot about your fill your boots,wannabe touty tipstere approach to betting.

Beaten 19lts is beaten out of sight in my book anyway, don't know about you. If i fancy one its on the nose, none of this ew malarky. The way I see it if you fancy it strongly enough to win why would you halve your stake by playing ew?

It is possible to fancy a horse to run well and get a place,the ratio of 1:1 doesn't have to apply at all in regards both bets,that is elementary.

Whatever floats yer boat pa...!

Snap his Mullins and Meade bumper thread is a thing of pure muggish beauty.

No wonder you are mentioning a "little lady" since the Cheltenham Jaxx episode Rocket

Seen it rock, pile of pish if you ask me!

From someone that said Kalaath was worth steaming into at 15/8 and only a case of how far he wins, went off at about 6/1 and there still looking for him,good luck with your tipping line you are trying to set up

Who said anything about a tipping line pa!?

Are you still seething about this panto thing or what?

You did yourself as you well know.
Not at all seething,mildly funny but it is at Wprkriders and Tony,s expense mainly,i didn't want to comment on it in respect of them.

Think I might have mentioned in jest a year or 2 ago, wow you have a good memory pa!

I do,and i remember it more than in jest as well.

Are you trolling me on here pa...!? lol...!

captain darling is screwing!

Snap Crackle Pop you are tipping odds on shots and in fairness they are winning but how can you crab a selection that SPs at 25/1 in a nineteen runner handicap and finishes fourth,its over 6/1 a place.

Not crabbing it at all, just stand by what I said that its terribly one paced

Snap think you've misplaced your thinking cap today , you also told me a horse that I put up against yours in the race Pa refers to also had no chance , it finished second and paid 4.1 on here for a place , today you were mugged good and well by gutfeeling , he debated his point , while you closed your eyes to the facts re Willies UK runners to winners ..Maybe its time you took a break from here ...?

Misplaced my thinking cap? lol! You could be dangerous if ya got a hold of one of them...!

Doubt you'd have a winner if it wasn't for your inside info ,99% of which are odds on , thinking was never one of your strong points ,in fact how gutfeeling stopped himself laughing his socks off , is beyond me , you only see what you want to see ..The man presented fact after fact to you , but your childishness came to the fore everytime ...

Still number crunching for that thread WR, I've found a profitable lay angle (Handicaps) so now I'll find a winning angle as well eventually.

I think we are needed in France.

oz please do yourself a favour bud and go and get yourself a job,maybe voluntarily to start with,just to get yourself out of these daily viscious trolling sessions...thanks

Cracking thread!

miss richters..cracking fella..

Is this a divert attention thread , Callit, sorry Snap....