I HOPE YOU ALL REALISE WHAT DAY IT IS TODAY

Thank you twizzle there's some on here that tight they won't even give you a free smiley face .

Their the kind of people who won't give you a drink of water at an oasis concert in the desert when the water holes dried up

Do wah DIDDY I bet bob monkhouse would have paid you for that masterpiece if hecwas still alive

It just came to me when I was sat on a camel on Blackpool beach one day

I got lost on the beach .the policeman told me not to cry .He told me to go to Gypsy rose lees tent  on the north pier and ask her if she would look into her crystal ball to see where my parents were

It ended up that he was in intensive care at Blackpool royal infirmary after trying to put a deckchair up for two hours

I said it shouldn't take two hours to put a deck chair up on Blackpool beach  .she said I'd like to see someone put one up quicker when the tides in

She gave me a free Psalm reading .she said I was going to be very cold if I walked along the prom that night .I said why is there going to be a frost
She said no your going to lose the shirt off your back if you go in that bookies today

I said how do you know that have you looked into your crystal ball again I didn't see you

She said no I don't have to .toss pots like are bound to you can bet on it

I was very upset she said dont take it personally your not on  your own .there's plenty of toss pots walking about Blackpool promenade

You are a Legend Buddy

I've got to go now .I want to see the number 10 bus pass my bedroom window as im skint and can't have a bet .and there's not much else I can do today

One of his better efforts to be fair

Do wah Diddy the undisputed number 1 forum legend

Leif
One of his better efforts to be fair
Thank you I'm so grateful for your generosity.i bet your one for them that was in the audience when Jesus gave his fish food out to the starving five thousand
I bet you said it's not as good as his walking On water performance 

One of his better efforts to be fair .thank you Simon towell
You don't realise I'm nervous and that my budgie died yesterday
And I want to dedicate this thread to all the budgies in heaven

I'd like to see you be funny when all this has happened to you
As well as being a compulsive gambler with no money in his pcts .and you've missed the number 10 bus passing your bedroom windows because you needed a wee
And all you've got to look forward to are some rice krispy chocolatey bars to look forward to for your dinner

You wouldn't be so judgemental if you had tasted a rice crispy chocolatey bar .it's not like a cadburys milk chocolate bar .where you can wollow in extasy and dream of how life could be if only you had some money

You're thinking of a Bounty

You just imagine yourself not being able to drink because your a recovering alcoholic.and not have sex because your private part has been affected by your prostrate cancer treatment.and YOU CANT HAVE A BET BECAUSE YOUR A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER AND  YOUR SKINT .and you can't eat your lions sports mixture and midget gems because your skint and the dentist says that it's them that are causing my teeth to hurt me .and you can't enjoy your cup of tea because the food bank only had that long life milk left that you don't like .and that's just the beginning

Join the club.

No I've got the rice krispy sqares chocolaty bar  wrapper here in in front of me
I had to read it several times before I realised that it was a chocalatly bar .what they mean is that it's not a proper chocolate bar .
One min I was buying new beds  for the tramps home and now I'm going to the food bank for long life milk and rice krispy bars and oxtail and ham soup and stale bread from the food bank

Its like giving the bookies a load of money and getting a free diary off them at Xmas
Once sitting with the elite big time gamblers  at old Trafford in the Betfair hospitality suite .and now searching every site page for a free bet

The higher you get the father you fall .I used to dig big holes for myself and get out

Oct 5, 2019 -- 12:50PM, Do wah Diddy wrote:

Leif One of his better efforts to be fair Thank you I'm so grateful for your generosity.i bet your one for them that was in the audience when Jesus gave his fish food out to the starving five thousand I bet you said it's not as good as his walking On water performance   One of his better efforts to be fair .thank you Simon towellYou don't realise I'm nervous and that my budgie died yesterday And I want to dedicate this thread to all the budgies in heaven

Jesus and his 'fish' trick merely signifies the sign of Pisces. Much like Jeevers telling his cling-ons they'd find him in the house of the man with the water pitcher (Age of Aquarius'. This the age of Aquarius/confusion which we live through now wherein men are growing breasts and women are all getting tatoos and Elvis haircuts.

The 'Sun/Son' does walk on water. When you're on holiday and looking across the sea, with the sun/son directly in front and above you with the rays bouncing back across the waves it appears that the sun/son is walking towards you across the water.

Likewise, when it rains on a vine with the sun/son shining on it, making it grow and grow producing succulent grapes to be made into wine it could be said that the sun/son has turned water into wine.

The sun/son is most definitely our saviour because if it/he doesn't rise in the morning, we are all fu****.

Nowxm old and skint the holes are much deeper and I can't get out

YES YES YES YES I KNOW I SHOULDNT HAVE DUG THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE YOUR THINKING JUST LIKE MY EX WIFE USED TO THINK .

Talking of the age of aquarius
I went to London to the shaftsbury theatre with the apprentices from work for the weekend to see hair when it first came out approximately 1968 we used to have two shillings and six pence stopped out of our wages each week for an outing
I think we only went to see it .to see the nude women that paraded about on the stage .no one knew what it was supposed to be about

I wanted to go to London zoo one day but my friend who was 17 wanted me to go to the cinema to see an X rated film with him.
We were both very reserved and shy in them days we were no swinging sixtiers
We still thought babies came out of girls belly buttons

The women would have had more hair about them in those days.

Did they move it to Shepherd's Bush?

I remember going on pettycoat lane market buying a pair of cuff links with my initial on them .
I wore them on the way home on the coach .the initial had dissapeared before we even reached the first cafe stop

It can be a life changing moment when you realise your initial has dissapeared off your cufflinks for some ,but I never learnt i got ripped off thousands of times again

I bet there's not many people whose been ripped off more than me .im up  there with the top

The TimesxI've been a good fair honest person for other people to sh*t on

I better go or you will all hear my life .story .the rip off stories takes hours and hours and hours to tell
I'll let you lose your money on the horses .it's a pity I can't join you and lose mine

Bye bye im under starters orders and I'm off

Don't approach the first fence too quickly Do wha

I had to approach that first fence quickly as the trainer told me to look as though I was interested in winning .he said I also had to shout giddy up in the last furlong

I did what I was told .I'm just trying to remember what my cut of the lay bet is

This trainer is like the crook who worked with the insider at Camelot who won the two and a half million lottery ticket  first prize and never gave him his fair cut of the prize money
This trainer is full of promises he's told  me he's got me in mind to ride one of his top horses in the gold cup .if I rode to orders on his lay bets
He said that last year and after I'd pulled lots of his horses that he laid and won loads of Money. he with drew it seven weeks before the race .and said that's racing for you

And said he would buy me a pint after racing

Do wah DIDDY you've no idea how they treat us
I have I just rode that horse in my last post
It was me that was jumping fences I was just talking to myself

None of this nonsense would have been written if I had have had some money to gamble with
Week after week after week I say to myself .do wah DIDDY leave some money for a betat the weekend and some food .don't gamble it all away the same day as you get your pention

I've never been able to control myself .that's why I had so many crashes in my cars when I drove .I should have gone round the corners instead of driving straight on at bends .I just dont like anyone telling me what to do .especially when it's my brain telling me what to do  I'm not listening to that

I've just remembered I've got to find twenty five pound to collect my glasses from the opticians on Monday .I can't keep walking about with this pair from Poundland with one lens and one side arm missing

I've only had them three weeks .I'm not taking them back and have the cashier looking at me as though I'm a low life.
I bet she's never eaten at a Mitchell and carter restraunt and not eaten off the special price menu like I have

I might be an also ran with no money these days
But I've dated pop stars and  a girl who got a medal off the queen at Buckingham palace and a video to proofs it .I've stayed at the best hotels with the stars .once in the same hotel the same week in clearwater USA that mohammid Ali was there.and was next door but one to the fat one out of birds of a feather  in a hotel in Orlando the same week as her she only had a week I stayed afort night .and I've stayed at pontins in Morecambe  and got Albert tatlocks autograph when pontins was a very saught after holiday location .it's been said that princess margaret  stayed their with her bohemian friends in the quite season

When I went into the cafe royal in manchester I ordered two prawn cocktails  and not just one .I didn't care what the bill cost. I was flamboyant

I've sat in the best seats every year at the opera house and palace  theatres in Manchester to see Cinderella and the other panto mimes

All the cars that I ever bought were brand new ones.i wasn't driving someones headace

And I had a real painting of a steam train going through hazel Stockport not one of them prints

IIKV YOU SHOULDNT DO THAT .I DONT WANT TO EMBARASS HER IF SHE PUTS HER THREE SINGLES AND A DOUBLE ON HERE ON A SATURDAY .
ITS NOT FAIR ON HER HUSBAND KNOWING THAT SHE WENT OUT WITH A DIPSTICK LIKE ME FOR A FEW WEEKS

I must state that we only had a platonic friendship and she never rang me again when I took her in a boddingtons pub and went down for jack's for a game of don on her night off

They can say what they want but it was me one night at their house who said the Dooley family doesn't sond like a pop group it sounds more like a Catholic family that's going to sing songs from the sound of music
They then called them selves the Dooley's and had many top twenty hits in the seventies
I bet they don't advertise that especially if there seen any of my posts .most of them were from the same  family

It's a good job their parents weren't in the group or they would have given me my marching orders much sooner

There was a big time girl Motown group who  was in a club that I was in once and after their performance I had a dance with one of them . she sat me down with   them and asked me to tell the rest of them what I had told her .about where they were going wrong
They sat their in silence and looked astounded as I gave them my in put .
They left just after that and she must of lost my phone number as she never phoned me
I told her to write it on her arm where she could see it instead of the beer mat that I gave  her

Do wah, you seem like a deep thinker, with an original view on life.
This morning, a guy stopped me in the street and asked me if I knew that the Earth was flat.
I told him that I didn't know that, but I would give it some thought.
Do you have any opinion on whether the Earth is flat ?

Art decoration
I feel very very very sorry for the man who walked around telling everyone that the earth wasn't round .No one believed him I know exactly how he felt .because no one believed me when I saw the u f o in reddish Stockport .
Even though I came out of the working men's on a clear night sober .I was enthralled as I stood at the farm path looking at a huge owl that was perched on a telegraph pole.ive never seen an owl in the wild .I was really overjoyed as I watched it's eyes open and close it then flew off after a while
As I looked around the sky to see if it was anywhere in sight .a beam of light started falling at speed towards earth I thought it was a falling star .but it came to a halt and then all of a sudden it went back up in space at a speed that I've never seen before

I thought I'm not bothering to tell anyone they will only say you had too much to drink
I WAS SOBER
I THINK IT HAD SPOTTED THE OWL LIKE ME AND ONCE IT REALISED THAT THE OWL WAS NOT COMEING BACK INTO VIEW IT DECIDED TO GO BACK TO WEAR IT COME FROM

JUST LIKE THE MAN WHO WAS SOBER WHO SAID THE EARTH WASNT FLAT AND PEOPLE MADE A FOOL OF HIM ONLY TO BE PROOVED CORECT AT A LATER TIME .I CAN RELATE TO HIM

I DONT CARE THAT I WONT BE NOTED  IN HISTORY ORVTHECGUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS AS THE FIRST MAN TO SPOT A  WILD OWL AND A.   U F O ON THE SAME EVENING IN REDDISH STOCKPORT AS I GET ENOUGH ATTENTION AND RECOGNITION ON THE BETFAIR FORUMS WITH WHAT I NOTICE

I MAY BE AN ATTENTION SEEKER BUT I KNOW WHAT A WILD OWL LOOKS LIKE AS ONE OF MY Daughter's bought me a day out going on a hawk walk  for my birthday .which included feeding a  hawk on your wrist as it swooped down from a tree.and a presentation of wild animals .I was the only adult to have an owl placed on my wrist all the others allowed was children .

I also have been to Kennedy space station in Florida (but wouldn't recommend it apart from the moon  rock in a glass case ).I also watch alot of videos on you tube about u f os which I take with a pinch of salt .I know mine was a genuine one as I saw it with my own sober eyes and I stopped in mid air before bursting back into space at a breathtaking speed.

I'm not being made to look a fool like that poor man who prooved to mankind that the earth wasn't flat .I'm not being called num  scull as I walk around Salford

That's all I'm saying on the matter

Ps time will prove me right I don't need my name to be mentioned in history books.just look at the man who discovered that the earth wasn't flat and Max bygraves no one cares about them now .and now one will care about me when I'm dead

Ps time will prove me right I don't need my name to be mentioned in history books.just look at the man who discovered that the earth wasn't flat and Max bygraves no one cares about them now .and now one will care about me when I'm dead

They won't build a monument for me like they did Nelson in London .they won't even effect one near the farm path in reddish Stockport .

Then in years to come there will be conspiracies from the new age of David Ike con men  saying that the world isn't flat and that they knew a man who said that I never went out that night and that I stayed in all night .and that the u f o  that I supposedly seen was an Isle of Man secret spy plane .
No I know what I seen and that will do me

Not wild animals it was wild owls in my post to art decoration reply .I'm sick of this foreign cheap manufactured I pad that won't type what I instruct it to type

PPS I don't know who was excited the most me looking at the owl or the owl looking at me or the UFO looking at the both of us .
All I know for certain was the owl and me was quite content to look at each other .without being aggresive to each other or scared of each other

Ppps I don't know if the owl saw the u f o as it had its back to it

Do Wah, I would be careful if I were you ... that UFO might have been on a scouting mission looking for people to abduct.

Maybe the aliens had spotted you and were intending to abduct you, but the owl scared them off.

indeed , sounds like a close escape to me

for the alens

aliens

They won't build a monument for me like they did Nelson in London .they won't even effect one near the farm path in reddish Stockport .

If Do wah DIDDY doesn't get offered  a book deal at some point for a collection of these freds, there is no justice in the world.

Makes me laugh my t☆ts off week after week.

he does have a unique style and take on life tbh

the aliens would have left you hello

news just in:

[David Icke thinks Do wah is a bit eccentric]

absolute class from the genius that is do wah diddy

It's a funny old world as Jimmy greaves use to say .some call me a genius (I think that's going about over the top ) while others call me a di *k