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Hemp?
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Corn on the cob
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Pumpkin Spice?
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Just mention pumpkins. Dint nar why that auto corrected to that
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Ment
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Long story short I'd been there letting the pigeons in from a training chuck the bloke latches on talks the talk as if he's a geordie Monty Don.
Says 'come on I'll show you my produce' his was a few gardens down goes in sees nowt but little green leaves growing out the soil. I said "where's all your vegetables?" he said "are ye blind there the are son" the daft t wa t planted his whole garden full of radishes,to which I nearly pi$$ed myself laughing in his face true story. |
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Disappointing end to that story denz, was expecting a bit more. But saying that I think radishes are the new carrots thes days in certain circles
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You had to be there.
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Picture this.
Cold frosty morning, up in the hills, middle of no where. Your out mettle detecting,A right smart lass pulls up on her quad bike licking a radish. Posh wellies, jeans, checky shirt and a Barbour jacket. An she says to you “ how pet a wish this radish was your nob” |
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Is this how you meet women in the hills?
Possible as likely frothing from the bumpy quad bike ride. |
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Denz I no a lass who swears she seen a yeti/Bigfoot where I live
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True story
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She was shaking and crying
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Used to know a few lasses that kept horses didn't have the bottle at the time to ask them about the effects of horse riding,remember @ 15/16 a lass who I was trying to get into telling me how she had to wash her horses knob and it used to blow it's beanz.
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Broad day light
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They'll be the days you forget to put your hi-vis on when gannin home.
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Just thought do you ever have space cakes? knew a lad from Haltwhistle who swore by them.
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Might be a stretch of the imagination for big foot to be kicking round but av heard a few stories about big cats to make me a believer in them kicking round here. Had an old game keeper who used to sit out all night killing foxes say he seen one clear an 8 foot fence from a crouching position and hardly touching the fence
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No denz never had a space cake
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I like to drink them cartons of custard when am camping, and rice pudding straight from the tin with a big dollop of jam
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Beautiful sounds like a treat to me have been seriously eating bananas and custard on me diet,eat loads and either lose weight or stay steady.
Thought about camping but backs' fcuked. |
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When me dad was little he had a pet chimpanzee, it only had one arm an one eye and was aggressive as fccckk apparently.
Some zoo or wild life place give him it. Either way it fccked off one day never to be seen again. People had mad pets back in the day. Bet there’s loads that escaped, or got let lose |
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What about the clowns that buy the snakes that can strangle you what a bunch of fcukwits.
Did you the one about the snake who stopped eating it's mice? |
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No?
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The boyfriend of the lass who owned it came into the bedroom and she was lying on the bed.
The snake was lying beside her in a straight line,he woke her up and told her upon she burst into tears cos it was sizing her up to see if it could eat her. The snake kept starving itself so they took it to the vets and they had to have it put down as it was too ill. |
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Seen a few in me time, adders, and what everyone I knows calls corn snakes. Might not be there real name tho
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Never seen a snake but had plenty false widows in here last year must've had a nest close by didn't pi$$ around took them about 1/2 a mile away couldn't kill the little feckers but didn't want to be bit people have lost fingers through infections.
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The Asda where I used to go had a Brazilian Wandering Spider incident with their bananas they were babies but that's how this stuff starts.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39783948 |
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Denzil you ever seen a red squirrel on yer travelles ? Seen two in the last 2 or 3 years within 20 mile of where I live,
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No tbh I'm surprised I haven't as there's red squirrel signs all over.
Do people up your way still eat the greys? |
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My mates job is setting squirrel traps and checking them every day he’s never caught one in 5 years
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Catching reds?
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Caught a red one that is
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Only seen greys and they're big feckers.
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Denzil I don’t no anyone that’s ever ate a squirrel, except them guys off duck dynasty on the tele
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Aye he catches greys all day long
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Thought the reds were making a comeback by the patter on the telly.
Was a serious question remember the River Cottage episode about the squirrel catcher and they were eating greys and knew plenty who were doing the same in red areas. |
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He recons there’s no reds this side of the border any more.
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