Current commentators most annoying comments to be banned in future

spencer malking progress

as is his wont*

very good Delta

. We got shut of graham goode and his, if you snooze you lose stuff etc,
which was bad enough, remember shouty man a few weeks back at kempton in a 0-60, "and they're
swinging in to the straight", "in the avenue of heroes"

Shouty man again, "he's coming with one last lunge"

"As is his want" is one of Mark Johnson's I believe.

THEIR GETTING TIRED OUT THERE!!!! Guess who?? :)

Thomo?, he's got this shaa hot ta bits?

ALL Stuart MACHIN's - and everybody else's TURGID humourless - smart arse - PUNS ..... as the winner crosses the line.

They are ONLY [b]SELF-serving- to their own egotistical tiny minds.

The most annoying thing about virtually every racing commentator is they think their target audience are blind.

granted watching on CH4 and their irritating camera angles you might as well be blind.

Another of Johnson's: You could lay a horse blanket over the whole field - one fcking great horse blanket imo!

Another of Machin's: with Legsofjelly in third.  One day this horse will win a race mmw!

malc tomlinson is the best by a mile call it as it is no gimmicks no shouting, class

^ except when he has backed Delightfully then it all goes apesh it.

And as the front pair pull clear "they begin to settle down" to fight it out.  You "settle down" in front of a nice log fire in your slippers, a good book and a wee dram whilst the rain beats down outside, not as the front pair see who is most up for it as the mud and whips fly and half a ton of horse flesh eeks out whatever it has left as the lactic levels go deep into the red....

i said yesterday that RICHARD HOILES does my head in way too much information-tells you how horse is putting its head to one side b4 they hae jumped the first-just like his mother used to---i watch nearly every race on mute now--all you want imo is a commentator to just keep it simple say it as it is and stop trying to be clever know all c---s

cant beat a little of "lashing down the outside" Malcolm style and do hate "a long leisurely look" which Stu loves to throw in all the time..

And has such and such a horse settles fully in to stride,Looking for an handy pozzy.REPEAT in every race ad infinitum.

here comes the pin up girl

"THERE NOT MESSING ABOUT HERE"

"PHOTO,PHOTO,THAT'S ONE FOR THE JUDGE HO HO HO"

Machin creamin himself over Spencer every time all the time...Ridiculous

"As they sort themselves out"...JA McGrath - every race

I never want to hear avenue of champions ever, ever again. Or was it avenue of heroes? I've tried to erase it from my mind.

And as they begin to make their way towards the first - Dessie Scahill about ten seconds after they have jumped off!

Johnston - "too close to call" when its won a neck !
         - "looking for a seam" every meeting !
         - "past the clubhouse turn" at Ascot !

and all the other Americanisms he just has to bung in, cringworthy

^^^
don't forget ...."Much the best" .........ffs

Sprinters in the gate

Croc could not help himself in a earlier race and said settles fully in to stride twice. It's like he has a list in front of him like a call centre worker and must have read it twice by mistake. That Bottle of Mothers ruin in the Commentary booth has a lot to answer for.

handy pozy, mcgraph
lets see what happens,tommo

slam dunked

"a maiden no MORE"

mark johnson's use of Americana is a pain in the arse.

i tend to mute if i have had a bet as the commentators just confuse you.

Lovely man Richard Hoiles, once lent me a pair of pants, but he should be kneed in the bollox every time he uses the word "consequently"

tommo grrrrr

''horse A leading with richard hill seeking his 45th winner of the season, followed by horse B with richard hughes seeking winner number 75 etc etc''

That virtual gimp in Laddies '' and it's an incredible end to this race '' Lol!

oh he's careering away, if you backed this, go form an orderly que.

He's coming home two to his one, ffs

It's Paul hanagan, the man agan, that's got to be one of the worst ever comments, just behind
the avenue of heroes Mark Johnson.

I don't get to hear Malcolm Tomlinson often, but he has the lashing home, squeezy bollocks gimmicks. Unless all that has stopped.

"This one stays longer than the mother-in-law" ...... from the man in a civil partnership ffs ....... "Cringy Jim"

Would love to hear a commentator say "he's (the jockey) has firmly applied the handbrake" or "he's hooked this one up out the back, won't be winning today" and call a spade "A Shovel", no ****footing around.

The fat clown with his "wins the races" instead of its won the race

MJ- top of rose fekkin hill

* Censored again, they are getting very "PC" on here ......... for "*****footing" ...... read "Mange Footing" .....   

(Sorry Brian)...

Don't know who, but he keeps saying, bya  length, bya 2 lenghts, bya bya, northern
bloke who helps bbc with the national, one of the worst out there

helped the beeb

The so called "Race Summarisers" ,,,,,,,, should be called "Aftertimers" ........ always very easy after the race.

Past tense I hope, thank fcuk for that.

Never liked "the leaders running out of real estate" thankfully not heard it for ages.

the 8 horse,the 2 horse etc was a favourite with the girl from thirsk who likes Jockeys sparrow

allegedly

terry spargo..

"AS THEY LEAVE THE MACHINE"

love that

"They are now approaching the turd"

from flag fall to thats all
from the outhouse to the penthouse
from go to whoa
wire to wire in the foxhunters

jockeys sparrows sorry

Who could forget Chapman's Commentaries before he got potted. He made the Alan Partridge's Horse racing Commentary which can be found on YouTube sound like Peter O'Sullivan in comparison. One race it was like he was commentating on the start of a F1 race.

"joined in at the top of the straight"

From this brief sample, my top ten are, The avenue of heroes, as is his want, sprinters in the gate, from goooo
to whao, you could throw a large horse blanket ffs, the 8 horse from the 4 horse, wire to wire, the man a gan,han a gan, bya a lenght, bya 2 lenghts,, and i'll tell ya what ther're not messing about. Main culprit for M Johnson. We are served today by some truly dreadful ego projecting commentators, M johnson by far the worst

Yeh,there are a couple of things that are annoying,but on the other hand,I wonder if it's possible to commentate on a race without once using a cliche.
Bye the way ohyouknowdoya, it isn't 'as is his want' It's 'as is his wont'(3rd person singular present,past participle,past tense of wont)
Thought I'd this out as you are criticising one of the best around!

'By the way' !

Thought I'd this, don't go throwing stones at me rogge, "one of the best" are you
having a fcuking giraffe, four legged creture, with a very long fcuking neck

...it's a three way go....

Sorry about that,ohyou.Somehow left out the word point.
Bit careless of me,as is my wont.

I'd love commentators to just tell us what's happening in a race, not what may happen, or what happened last time. And not to keep assuming we all just back favourites.

Yeah, I really must watch my past participle's, thank you for the grammar lesson.
Just quickly viewing your post, you're own attitude to punctuation, apostrophes, and commas
appears to be, to chuck em up in the air, and see where they land

But we digress, you would have to admit "the best around has an awful lot of fcuking annoying cliches.

Funny how we dont give a flying fook about these comments when we are on the winner, only really grates when on one beaten a short distance ,then we want to put the boot through the tv to shut the fookers up.

"pokes his nose in front"...

"And as they leave the gate you can tell straight away that the Johnston horse isn't off"

...and the front two have been at it "from the get-go"

Can't attribute it to any one commentator because plenty of them say it, but when I hear 'so and so trainer likes a winner here' (on the flat it's often 'Mark Johnston likes a winner at Royal Ascot/Glorious Goodwood etc' gets my goat - because what trainer DOESNT like a winner at a big festival?

And don't get me started on 'this horse could be anything'

And from our friends in RSA: "....and racing in among "that lot"...." or even, for those who like their grammatical issues lower down: ".....and racing in amongst "these ones" is etc"

a trffle keen...

Machin,

His emphasis on deliberately forgetting every jockeys "first name" when describing a finish.....(when did he start all that bollox ?)

And his ridiculous play on words on the horse that wins.

He has become the most annoying commentator out there.......the new Tommo.

Worryingly, I think, he thinks, he is great...

Em Jim McGrath, how does courses employ him, I pity those guys up listen to a commentary on the phone where he is at and when they get home later on and see replays what the hell was he watching. He repeats the same words, Sails Over ?? and his worst comment is jumps it CLEAR by two lengths. You never used the word "clear" if only ten upwards. Shocking at his work

McGrath "scraping paint" and "he's home for all money"

and the equally inane "leading them all a merry dance"

Johnson and others  ...'He jumped it with a plom'

Tomlinson .....'Blasting homeeeeee'

Hoilsy .... 'Chiveed along'

Tommo , looking for a cheap laugh from the few that have yet to here ....'He look's between his legs and likes what he see's'

FFS