He's a 'Top Man'!

Saved himself £400!

Anyone got stories about punters with counterfeit notes?

Went to bank money and as usual the cashier put them through a counting machine. I watched in horror as I could see odd notes being rejected out of the bottom slot. About 9 x £20's in total, I asked to see & feel the notes (which they surprisingly allowed) and to me they all seemed okay so I said 'how do you know they are fake?'

She replied, "well sir, they all have the same serial number on for a start"

I read this one on another Forum where there was talk about Powderhall:

POWDERHALL Big James coup
My mate James was on the lookout for a wee dog to run around Powderhall, something that would get him an owners pass and perhaps a wee bet along the way, he was put onto a trainer at Peterborough and a video of a bitches racing was sent to him with instructions from the trainer to have a look at the tape and see if he could spot anything! On receiving the tape James was eager to see what was so special on this tape, he looked 4-5 times and still could'nt see anything,he phones the trainer up and tells him he cannot see anything special, infact its pretty dire, the trainer says "Check the tape again but really study what is happening when she wins", anyhow James goes away and checks it again and again and again and finally he spots it, a phone call to the trainer and the wee bitch was purchased.
Transport is organised and the bitch is delivered to Jane Glass.
The bitch is graded on and starts running 4 bend races and does'nt exactly set the track on fire, its decided that she should be tried over the 6 bend trip and duly has a grading trial, Last, Last and Last in her 3 races over the 6 bends, she then gets put in a handicap with a couple of dogs receiving a start from her, again she finishes nearer last, by now James was quickly becoming the laughing stock with his other mates for having the worst bitch at the track, he takes it on the chin and says "yes, your right, but shes mines so no need to worry" and proceeds to have his "Loyal" £50 per race on her.
As the weeks go by he was tucking his wages away in the bank, the bitch by now has been put off the front of the handicap but the dog behind her is only 1 metre behind, James has his £50 on again and she gets beat, AGAIN.
The week after he gets the advanced card on the tuesday for saturday nights racing.............He's just died and went to heaven, his bitch has been put of the front again but is now sitting 3 clear off her nearest rival and looks like she will lead the bend, he draws his money from the bank on the friday.
Saturday night comes and he acts normal by going to the track by bus with the other guys, as usual he asks the others if they want a bet on his bitch to which they just laugh and he says alright but you have been asked, the race approaches and off he toddles to the bookmakers ring to have what the others think is his routine £50, BANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...8 thousand to 1, 6 thousand to 1, and a 4 thousand to 1, the rings going nuts and James mates think he has lost the plot, the hares on the move, the boxes open, the bitch gets round in front and whooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh away she goes, striding out she goes further and further clear, by the time she hits the winning line she was the only dog in the camera, she won by the full length of the home straight and improved close on 1 1/2 seconds, the trainer was astounded as this bitch had been running on her merit since she arrived and could'nt believe what she had witnessed, James went to collect and 9 grand came back via Alex Farquar(Macbet), Alex being the gentleman that he was shook James hand and said "Well done big man" he had always said the bigger the price the more you have on and thats exactly what James did.
If you have not guessed by now the bitch needed to be left alone, if in amongst dogs she did'nt want to know and the Video from The trainer at Peterboro showed this.

About 20 years ago we were at a point to point at Cursneh Hill near Leominster. The cars parked on a slope behind the bookies and somebody failed to put their handbrake on and it demolished Jock Sheighs joint sending his workman 30 feet away.

Jock who had a well earnt reputation for meanness was chatting to another bookie and ran back to his pitch ignoring his crippled helper and scrambled on the floor for his notes and shrapnel!

By the time he had rebagged the loot his pal was in an air ambulance without even a how are ya!

Dreadful but true, nearly took me and Mrs NWK with it. The floor man was ok but rumour has it Jock docked his wages as he was clearly not standing!

I once heard a story that at Guisburn point to point the bookies once had a torrid afternoon
and every fav won.One bookie went large on the last favourite by a considerable margin and
got most of the business ,as the punters cheered the last fav home they turned to get  their
winnings from said bookie but they saw him jumping over the fence in the distance never to be
seen again..

Not funny stories

Derby winner High Chaparral had been off the course for nearly a year, came back in August 2003 for the Group 2 Royal Whip Stakes.
After looking at him in the parade ring I rushed to the top bookie in the ring and had £100 at evens.  I bet with him regularly and was probably one of his smallest punters.
I was surprised when the bookie asked me what the horse looked like.  I said he looked fit, ready, and interested.
He cut his price to odds on and let all the other bookies take the punters bets.
High Chaparral won and my bookie saved a fortune.

One bookie I remember fondly was at Epsom in 1998.
He was the first to put up prices at about 12:00 on Oaks day.
A regular of his bet on credit France to win the World Cup at 6/1.  They did.
I was next up and had £40 at 25/1 Shahtoush for the Oaks.  She won.
When I was collecting late in the day he ostentatiously handed me £40, and with the other hand low down slipped me £1,000, presumably in case pickpockets were watching.
Then he said "Congratulations, well done"  I'll never forget that.

Jimbo (working for TF) was at York and had a bet in the last race. He was off to Haydock so couldn't stay on for the last at York, So as the norm Mike Burton (Hills) rang Jimbo after the race. The conversation went like this.


Jim your horse won, the problem is there's no jockey onboard he was unshipped at the start. Mike had a wicked sense of humor (Sadly missed)

Gambling your wife on an Arsenal match and presenting the weather naked: 7 of the world's weirdest bets

Liverpool fan Tom Pound has vowed to have the Liver Bird tattooed on his p*nis if his team win the league. But what other outlandish wagers have sports fans made?


Man bets his house (and wife) on an Arsenal win


It was never going to end well when Arsenal fan Henry Dhabasani staked his house on his team beating Manchester United in a bet with Manchester United fan Rashid Yiga.

While Rashid bet his new Toyota Premio and his wife on a United win – in a bet witnessed by tribal elders and put in writing in their town in Uganda - he was left laughing when former Arsenal striker Van Persie took the Red Devils into a 1-0 lead at Old Trafford in November.

Uganda's Observer newspaper reported that Dhabasani, who has three wives and five children, fainted at the final whistle and was evicted from his two-room house the next day.

Tennis fan's cheeky tattoo to celebrate Murray win


With Britain's luck in tennis being pretty awful over the last seven decades, Will Hirons probably felt secure his bottom would remain unblemished as Andy Murray went to secure victory in last year's Wimbledon.

For the 27-year-old tweeted that he would get a tattoo of the Scot's face on his bum cheek if he was victorious – and then had to go and actually do it when Murray won against Novak Djokovic in straight sets in what was Britain's first victory in the men's singles in 77 years.

The good sport, from Hereford, tweeted: “@andy_murray what a tennis player, your face will be tattooed on my ass.

“I'm a man of my word. It's a reminder of a proud moment. My girlfriend thinks I am a prat.”

City fan rues drunken wager


Manchester City supporter Rodney Ward saw red after having to get his team's sworn rival's crest tattooed to his chest after a drunken bet.

The life-long Blues fan, 24, made a bet with his Man Utd-supporting friend Paul Madden that City would finish top of the Premier League in 2010-2011 season

When they didn't, losing out to the Red Devils, he had to have his enemy's team tattooed to his right pec.

“I'm embarrassed as anything but it could have been worse if United had won the Champions league trophy too.

“Paul would have probably had me have a tattoo of Rooney on my back if that had happened and I would never have been able to show my torso in public again.”

Slightly off-topic but I recall a friend of mine rail-running at Chester being challenged by a racecourse official accusing him of using a device to send live information.  Yes of course he was.  But, by coincidence in close proximity was a rather rowdy stag party, one person with a six foot dildo strapped to his back.  I'm sure you can work out how the accusation, and conversation went from their, lol ....

I win a few hundred at Cheltenham and my next port of call is Leicster I think it was I go back the horse I fancy and the bag man counts the money I think I was having about £300 on the horse the bag man peels off three of the notes which amounted to £60 and said these are no good I was amazed as I knew the notes had come from one of two bookies the day before from Cheltenham.
After that when I backed a winner I would put the notes in a envelope and write who I had collected it from and checked them when I got home.
I remember the horse did win at around evens I ripped up the funny money.

I remember a bookie at Yarmouth!!!

Me and a mate were at Brighton races about 40yrs ago ( evening meeting)
Got there early, we were in the bar along with a few others, including bookmakerJohn Pegley who had a horse running in his colours that night. Somebody shouted across, what chance your horse
winning tonight John to which he replied that the only way it would prevail is if he chased it around the racecourse with a shotgun.
Of course, it bolted up!!!

The scene is Sandown on a Saturday afternoon in summer,just before computers replaced the clerk with book and pencil.
   The cast is the Mendoza clan,Lulu,number one son,and Michael,all working together on the stand,which wasn't a regular happening.
Lulu shouting the odds,occasionaly foaming at the mouth,Michael clerking,and Paulon the bag.
After 2 or 3 races Lulu decides to do a cash check,and yes,you guessed right,there was a shortage,of about £100!!!
    Well what went on after that was probably the most comical scene in memory involving a bookmaker.
Lulu insisting he knew what he put in to start and how much he may have had to add,Michael insisting as he was only the clerk,it can't be his fault,and Paul having a good shouting match with Lulu and Michael.Things got more and more heated,by now Lulu was really frothing,Michael and Paul doing battle,and no business being done.The name calling ,personal abuse,excuses,it was pure comedy.
  "We don't carry on until this is found" exclaimed Lulu,"we have to keep working ",said Paul","we can check again after the last"said Michael,all to no avail,as Lulu wanted the money to be right."Am I working with amateurs,one of you has messed up" etc.This went on for the next couple of races,and if you know the team involved,you can visualize the comedy that took place.
  I think, at the end ,they agreed not to work together again,if agreed is the right word!Making me laugh typing this,even after all these years have gone by.It certainly wasn't unusual for a bookmaker to argue with his staff when things went wrong.