My father-in-law is masturbating in my house.Come on own up.Who is it?

My wife's father, aged 68, moved in with us recently. He's nice, but seems to be addicted to internet porn. I know that he pleasures himself on our sofa using our laptops when we are out or upstairs – a lot. How do I stop him?

In general, his sexuality is his own business, not yours. However, I do understand that his use of your laptops and the communal space in your home is irritating, and potentially a source of serious family conflict.

Since it is important to avoid an escalation of your annoyance, could you help him to acquire his own computer and provide some personal space so he can experience eroticism privately? If he already has his own room, a desktop computer that would anchor him there could be a solution. You could then gently explain that your laptops are unavailable to him.

But do not try to stop him looking at porn, unless you are absolutely certain that it is taking up so much of his time he is unable to function in his life. Even if that is the case, do not express a judgmental point of view, rather, encourage him to seek professional assessment and advice.

It is common for younger people in our society to be judgmental about signs of sexuality in anyone over 50. But older people are still sexual beings and they find pleasure and comfort in erotic experiences – either with others or alone. Be accepting!