Advice to all pensioners on here...

very gud of u but haven't receieved it yet; just a mo will go and ask matron for a (cough, cough, splutter!) loan!

all sat in a library clutching a radiator NAP

Sorry about that. Suggest you go out and start collecting some firewood off the trees.

she said, 'nice to see you, to see you nice' but refused to give me any advance on pocket money, how did it go 'friend?'

Shouldn't it be 'Sir' Bruce?

My other half has now got to wait for the winter fuel allowance.

Thanks for nothing Lucky.

Sorry chelsea. I've got a few old cardigans I could send you and it's amazing how a few press ups can warm you.

Look pensioners, at least I've saved you all the trouble of putting your 5p perms on the 49's and buying those scratch cards that you waste all your pensions on.