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02 May 10
23:14
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Date Joined:
11 Dec 01
just passing time for mondays big bet
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Replies: 108
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I took the mother in law out last night. One punch. An absolute beauty.
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5 out of 10 that one
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man walks into a stable and asks the first horse he sees - whats with the long face?
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3 years ago monday i losed my wife
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on a pair of aces
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could be worse, you could have won one
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she was so ugly the next day the bloke who won her rang to say mick i got to tell you i **ed take her back i said so did i keep her
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:D
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had to put me dog down last night .
it was too heavy :^0 |
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3 out of 10 that one
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mine was 10 out of 10 wheres the next 10
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i was on the tele last night
i fell off :^0 |
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should have been a plane 1 out of 10
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difference between Lenny Henry and Thierry henry?
Thierry Henry's still Fking French... boom boom |
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6 out of 10
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SPENCER-MURTAGH-PROBERT
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russian sprinter
amzoominov |
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half out of 10
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another half out of 10
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did you hear about the paddy dog?
the tree**ed on him. |
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**ssed.
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you must be drunk 1 out of 10
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man in pub playin darts
fella comes up to him with no arms and says , you wanna game for a tenner ok then first one goes and throws 96 fella with no arms says - pass me the darts where you want them put em in me mouth ---- right , throw the dart board at me :^0 ;\ :^0 :p |
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that made me laugh 8 out of 10
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bloke goes in the pub with a midget goes up to the bar and says pint of fosters for me and a stepladder for the midget
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told me bird to get her coat
she said , orrrrrrrrr where you takin me ? nowhere , im turning the fire off :^0 :p |
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Paddy goes to the antiques road show and joins the long que. After around half an hour he reaches the front and Arthur Negus says to him
" And what have we got here Sir " to which Paddy replies " I found it up in me attic sure, I thinks it might be some familly air loom or something and hopefully it's worth a few quid " " Have you got insurance ? " Arthur asks Paddy " Why, do you think I need it ? " says Paddy. " Definately " says Artur " it's your fxxxxxxxkin WATER TANK " |
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she said - i want you out , you do nothing to help and are the laziest man ive ever known - pack your bags
i said " you pack em " :p :p :p :p |
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turn the fire of 6 out of 10
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irishman goes in t.v shop and buys 10 t.v the salesman said to the irishman can i used you why you are buying 10 t.v hes says they think the irish are thick but i only need i license
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What do you call two sheep tied to a post in Cardiff??
"A leisure centre" |
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cos i know you 1 out of 10 lol
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good night my joke was the only 10 out of 10
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A man is reading through the vacancies in his local job centre in Blackburn when one catches his eye - person required on porn set, main part of role will be to oil up female cast members prior to doing their scenes and other related tasks. No previous experience required, hours to suit and rate of pay is £45 per hour.
The guy prints the vacancy, approaches a member of staff and says ' i'm interested in this vacancy, can you help me?.' 'certainly' says the clerk, 'if you'd just like to fill this application form in and take it to London' 'oh, is that where the job is?' syas the bloke 'no, thats where the f ucking queue starts' replies the clerk!!! 0/10!!! |
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... Where do you find a dog with one leg... ??
... I dunno, where do you find a dog with one leg ... ... Where you ** left him ... ha ha ... |
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yhe best joke i know is
kieron felon |
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went to a sweet shop, asked for a packet of helicopter crisps,
shopkeeper said sorry, we only have plane! |
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A man had a ticket for the world cup final but notices an empty seat further down so he makes his way down to the empty seat and asks the man next to it if anyone is sitting there. "no, it's empty", says the seated man
"this is incredible," says the other man. "who on earth would have a seat like this for the world cup final, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?" the seated man says "well, actually, the seat is mine. My wife and I have been coming every year for all our 35 years of married life but she has passed away". "oh... i'm very sorry to hear that. thats very sad - but couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative, to take the seat?" the seated man shakes his head. "no. they're all at the funeral." |
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just joined a dating agency
one of the questions was 'what tye of girls do you like' i tyed 'age 3 girls' after a month or so i have had no relies then realised that my keyboard letter P was faulty |