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Remember this 
TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.
The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.
Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.
By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."
He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."
Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."
Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.
TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.
The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.
Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.
By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."
He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."
Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."
Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.
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and this from the welsh
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/euro2016/article-3663215/Wales-players-caught-video-wildly-celebrating-Iceland-scoring-against-England-Euro-2016.html Best team in britain! |
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Waiting for Farage :….."Let's now call June 27th our Independence Day with secession from top level football on the International stage!"
So, that's two days in June that England can have extra holidays….sorted. Thank Iceland later. |
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Iceland 2 Poundland 1.
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I feel sorry for the Scots to be fair- they have Nicola Sturgeon!!
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The first post is quite funny.
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Hopefully soon to be strangled to death by the EU and the Euro.
Keep on going Krankie, keep on pushing the Scots towards the Eu where you'll soon realise that without the support of the rest of Britain propping you up financially and without our power to lean on, you're nothing. The EU are going to treat you like fresh meat, just another powerless backwater in an organization completely dominated by one country. You're going to be one tiny country with no economy and no power whatsoever in a block of over 25. Good luck with that. Please vote out this time, then you can see how 'free' you are in the undemocratic EU, and how 'free' you are with a leader at home who has completely ignored democracy TWICE already. Bravehearts indeed... |
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DD seems to have taken the footie rether badly
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Disappointed, not surprised. No-one with a brain thought they were going to win the tourney. Some didn't even qualify...
I stand by my earlier post though, I hope Scotland fecks off quickly and takes undemocratic Krankie with them, then the scots can enjoy all the freedom of being an even more insignificant speck of fecal matter on the toilet bowl that is the EU. |
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they always pretend they don't think their team will win until they get a lucky result and then logical thinking goes out the window and suddenly they think they can win this thing.
then reality bites and everyone is again pretending that they never thought they could ever win it. after getting a very easy qualifying section, they think it's all going to be easy but nothing ever changes from one tournament to the next. as for scotland, they have already voted to remain part of the UK and only idiots believe the rantings of that mad woman who has her own agenda. |
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as for scotland, they have already voted to remain part of the UK and only idiots believe the rantings of that mad woman who has her own agenda.
45% believed her mad or not, and she's after another referendum very soon after completely ignoring the outcome of the first one and now the EU referendum. If you're a Scot who wants to stay in the Union i'd be worried. She's got 45% in the bag already, only a very small swing needed to overturn that majority. And no doubt, if the Scots voted out of the Union in a 2nd referendum she wouldn't ignore democracy then. She's not stopping until the Scots are out of the Union and in the EU, where she'll fit right in as an undemocratic dictator. |
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Love Scotland as a country but maybe time for an English referendum and let the sturgeon get on with her brave heart role
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Let her lead the Scots into oblivion, powerless within the Eu without the UK, and now without our currency, and see how they like the Euro.
No doubt Krankie thinks she can leave the UK, join the EU but keep Sterling, it would not surprise me, her Hubris and self-centred opportunism know no bounds. |
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i think the fa should hire sturgeon and salmond to petition uefa to get the iceland game replayed as many times as is necessary in the hope we will win in the end.
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I agree the FA missed a trick there.
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As if anyone would care how Scotland died.
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The referendum vote went for the Union because the establishment moved heaven and earth to ensure it
Initially it was left to scottish labour to make the case Then Gordon Broon was brought back Then finally Cameron weighed in with Osbourne warning Scottish pensioners they would lose their money. And lets not forget that in the first place all alex salmond was wanting was the DevoMax option which he ended up getting anyway after the vote A few months later the scottish people en masse voted SNP in the general election Be in no doubt that independence is coming Scotland is very rich in natural resources I believe it is one of the European leaders in renewable energy as well as mineral rich I have read that Wall St is massively interested in independence, if the scots can break the yolk from London Why do you think Trump is over there? He may be mad as a hatter but he knows the price of his onions and removing the dead hand of the english will lead to an investment boom north of the border unseen since the last war It is quite simple Sturgeon will wait til the english govt, whomever that may be, make such a horlicks of this brexit mess that even the Euro will seem a better alternative than remaining in the Union. Then there will be another vote.. .. and this time the snp will have its way |
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let's just hope someone stops them trying to annex Panama this time.
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The Darien Venture
Scotland bet the farm in trying to invent the Panama canal two hundred years before time It failed due to government sponsored English pirates attacking the scottish settlers thus precipitating the act of Union in 1707 Scotland was an active partner in the Union till Thatcher turned her back on them Who is to say in 200 years Scotland and the Celts will be propping up England, which frankly has been dying on its erse for the last century. After all after Bannockburn Scotland under the Bruce was the biggest power on the island, until the black death changed history for ever |
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Yeah I can see Trump and the US having the best interests of Scotland at heart.
Scots will no doubt leave though, it is only a matter of time and I said that before the last Scots ref. Krankie might want to consider that when she leaves the UK and joins the EU and the Euro, there will be no more ignoring democracy to get her own way, because there's little democracy in the Eu to begin with, and Scotand will be powerless within it as Scotland is a midget in terms of power and influence. Good luck. |
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Thelatarps, government sponsored pirates? I think you've been reading a little too much Homer - neither expedition lost people to piracy.
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They made landfall at Darien on 2nd November, having lost only 70 people during the voyage. Full of optimism, they named the peninsula New Caledonia, and set to work building a settlement. However, their first choice of site was, as Paterson put it: 'A mere morass, neither fit to be fortified nor planted, nor indeed for men to lie upon... We were clearing and making huts upon this improper place near two months, in which time experience, the schoolmaster of fools, convinced our masters that the place now called Fort St Andrew was a more proper place for us'.
The men and women sent out to Darien were completely unprepared for the harshness of the territory in which they found themselves... 200 died by March 1699, rising to 10 a day at one point. The land on which Darien was found is still virtually uninhabited today. I wonder why it failed? |
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The scottish people view London the way Brexiteers view Brussels
A dead hand holding them back Krankie, by whom i presume you are referring to Ms Sturgeon will bide her time making her case for independence every time Westminster lurches from catastrophe to catastrophe The thing about the SNP is thay they do have a plan moving forward. Economic, Social, Foriegn, they are in power at the moment after all. The thing about the Brexiteers is they do not. Most of them look back at Thatcher in the 80s as some kind of halcyon period. Battering miners, race riots with police, Mass unemployment. The world has moved on. Its a global village now, you have to make deals with the rest of the world not sit around and sl@g them off |
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which frankly has been dying on its erse for the last century
Says Scotland! We've been propping you up for years, good luck on your own with the Euro! |
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Makes me laugh the way the saes sl@g off scotland yet weigh in constantly on the need to preserve the Union
Yes the Darien venture was a misguided effort to make a mark on the world. And English privateers or pirates attacked and plundered supply ships destined for the unfortunate settlers in New Caledonia I have a feeling that the Brexit vote will be viewed as a similar error by future historians as England becomes a pitiable backwater in world and european affairs... |
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I have a feeling that the Brexit vote will be viewed as a similar error by future historians as England becomes a pitiable backwater in world and european affairs..
I remember the disaster we were set for when we didn't join the Euro... How many backwaters have a permanent seat on the UN security council? |
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didnt see many Scottish tipping Iceland to win pre-match...
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.... or anyone else, for that matter
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Think you will find the USA has 2 seats on the security council
One for the pentagon and one for their european representative. Happens to be based in london at the mo. Edinburgh b4 long Dirk me old china plate  |
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As for being a pitiable backwater, what do you think Scotland is? a Major European power?
How strong do you think your hand is without the rest of the UK to back you when you apply to join the EU? Stronger than the UK's whilst leaving it? - I don't think so. Be sure that where Sturgeon is taking you is somewhere you want to go, it's ok hating England which is your national pastime, but you won't be able to blame us when you've got the Euro and stuck inside the EU and powerless. Stay or go, I don't care, just stop whining when things don't go your way after a democratic process. I wonder what else Sturgeon will choose to ignore once you're 'free' of nasty old England? Elections? What's next? a future election that doesn't go the SNP's way, but Glasgow for example voted strongly SNP so it's now undemocratic and void - does she ask for a re-run or threaten to pull Glasgow out of Scotland? What do you think about a leader who consistently just ignores democracy? |
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Think you will find the USA has 2 seats on the security council
One for the pentagon and one for their european representative. Happens to be based in london at the mo. Edinburgh b4 long Dirk me old china plate Both factually incorrect and a fantasy... Your future is much more likely a seat at the poor table begging for handouts along with Greece and Spain etc Enjoy it Nova Darien! |
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As i am currently inhabited in the UK Dirky
I do hope you are incorrect in that last statement of yours about greece and spain tho i suspect you may be right |
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appformat
.... or anyone else, for that matter Love Tipped them on the forum, and backed. |
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As i am currently inhabited in the UK Dirky
I do hope you are incorrect in that last statement of yours about greece and spain tho i suspect you may be right Not for much longer if your non-democratic Iron Lady 2 gets her way and then it'll be straight to EU handouts queue. |
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Quick reminder of how the EU reacts to referenda.
Eight since 2002. Two were accepted as they were voting to join the Euro, Denmark and Sweden. The other six referenda that didn't go the EU's way were either ignored by the EU, or the country was made to vote again when the EU got the result it wanted. So you can by all means have a referendum, but only the EU can win. Krankie will fit right in in Brusells! |
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Reading this thread it has to be concluded that English arrogance is only exceeded by ignorance.
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Reading this thread it has to be concluded that English arrogance is only exceeded by ignorance.
Also to be concluded that without England to hate, Scotland would have no purpose. Enjoy the Euro! |
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Wouldn't a more appropriate nom de plume DD be DickJiggler it would keep you occupied between writing more of your abject nonsense.
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Theparp I would like Scotland to stay within the UK but the sturgeon has set its heart on Freedom so be it . Time for an English referendum join the euro which will eventually collapse and get on with it
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Fyi dirky
the part of the uk that is south of hadrians wall tho one does like to keep ones options open would it turn you on if i said i was a romanian migrant claiming the rock n roll in my 5 bedroom council house for my extended family? go on you'd love that would you no? |