Fattest Girl you've ever had.

Too horrific to tell

Jun 11, 2013 -- 9:33PM, thelatarps wrote:

Too horrific to tell

nothings too horiffic.  unless it was a bloke.

trust me
worse
than a bloke

Jun 11, 2013 -- 9:45PM, Mr Eboue wrote:

However drunk I've been I would never entertain the possibility of getting on a fat pig.

you must have had a "take one for the team speach"

No. If you paid me a grand I wouldnt nail one.

The thought is enough to make me ill. I absolutely despise fatties.

Fattest Girl you've ever had.
steview84

Your Mum, Son.........

Jun 11, 2013 -- 9:49PM, themuppet3 wrote:

Fattest Girl you've ever had.steview84Your Mum, Son.........

really.... any need for that? you must be a feeder muppet, don't take it personally... we just like to laugh at fattys..

Define a fatty Eboue.

size 16 and over

Any girl that has fatty saggy arms/legs or obviously stomach.

I'd say any girl weighing over 12 stone tbh.

Sounds fair. Chubby birds are the best, but fat birds are horrendous, it's a fine line.

Thin Size 8, Trim Size 10, Chubby Size 12, Fat Size 14+

sorry but size 12 isnt chubby...

Tubby?

some girls have big hips...

a track for all  :-

.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSK91mUNLU

Tried to pick her up

Jun 11, 2013 -- 10:07PM, themuppet3 wrote:

Mr Eboue 11 Jun 13 21:49 No. If you paid me a grand I wouldnt nail one.The thought is enough to make me ill. I absolutely despise fatties.I thought you 'coloured' chaps liked a BIG booty

it's Black

I'm white.

I'm not thick.

I'm just saying the thought of having sexual intercourse with a fat whale does not excite me.

What about a fat dolphin

I just couldn't!

I've always been very picky. When I was single and I went out with the lads i was the same.

Jun 11, 2013 -- 10:17PM, Mr Eboue wrote:

I'm not thick.I'm just saying the thought of having sexual intercourse with a fat whale does not excite me.

PMSL#

my one wasn't ugly per se.  i've had uglier women, but she was huge, nice face.

Jun 11, 2013 -- 10:20PM, steview84 wrote:

wow.intended this as a bit of a joke.'coloured' racist, black people like fat women, racist, black people are thick racist.what a coont.  and eboue, the feel of shame you get once you've finished off is something every man should experience.  its like a right of passage.

Not a coont at all.  Coloured is derogatory but for a thick uneducated **** like you, you wouldn't know the difference

not a coont at all.  Coloured is derogatory but for a thick uneducated **** like you, you wouldn't know the difference

great sentence structure, reads really well.  i feel belittled now, mastered.

Jun 11, 2013 -- 10:29PM, steview84 wrote:

not a coont at all.  Coloured is derogatory but for a thick uneducated **** like you, you wouldn't know the differencegreat sentence structure, reads really well.  i feel belittled now, mastered.

Proves the point that you are a thick uneducated cunnt.

Calm down gents you'll give yourself a heart attack.

the only point you proved was that you are in no position to make such a statement. with that level of grammar you would find it difficult to get work in a call centre.  get back to school and better yourself.  goodnight.

i got on with his huge bird one night when i was pissed we ended up in bed

she was that fat when she got on top she burnt her backside on the bedroom lightbulb

Jun 11, 2013 -- 10:36PM, steview84 wrote:

the only point you proved was that you are in no position to make such a statement. with that level of grammar you would find it difficult to get work in a call centre.

Out on the piiss with my mates one night in the city centre, absolutely hammered. One of them says there's this cracking boozer where I live lets go there. He lives in a wee village out of town so we get a taxi. Big cotton eye joe place but cracking atmosphere and the drinks are flowing. Get totally wrecked. Anyway blah blah wake up in the morning open my eyes. "Where the fuuck am I?". Turn over to my right. The most horrific sight I've ever seen. Folds and folds of flesh just staring back at me. Love handles? This was the handle the door the bloody building. I nearly puked over it there and then. This was the girl Lisa Riley would call a fat baastard. Luckily it was facing away from me. I sneak out of the bed and quickly get dressed. It groans it must be feeding time. Anyway I tiptoe down the stairs to the front door. Never seen nothing like it. There's about 10 locks and bolts on the sodding door! Quickly undo the bolts but its bloody locked. No key in sight. I hear more groaning from up the stair and I'm panicking. I see her 10 berth tent she calls a jacket on the couch and god smiles on me. Grab the keys unlock the door and shove them through the letterbox. I'm free!! Turn around. I'm in the middle of fuucking nowhere! Christ knows how we've ended up here cos it certainly wasn't anywhere near we were. Miles and miles of fields. Haven't a scooby where I am. There's 2 houses across a dirt track I think they would call a road but I'm not going near them I'm thinking Wicker Man land here. Shaagged (or crushed) to death by an army of lard and then put in a pot no thanks.

Anyway to end this long winded effort ended up walking miles and miles till I found a big stick that doubled as a bus stop apparently and this bus that looked like something from the second world war took me to civilization. I dread to think what happened that night and I've hardly touched spirits since.

Lesson is drink moderately and watch out for them country folk

Jun 11, 2013 -- 10:36PM, mr crisp wrote:

i got on with his huge bird one night when i was pissed we ended up in bed she was that fat when she got on top she burnt her backside on the bedroom lightbulb

Should have turned the light off Mr C.
There was a war on ffs

FANTASTIC

Pathetic,  no wonder your share price is in free fall...............

great stuff (she was stuffed by the sounds of things!) , sounds like obeone mother in law. Good work. Did you get her pregnant geesyerdosh ??

sounds like obeone mother in law

chubby best as they work much harder

best **** partner i ever had was a size 14-18 depending on time of month/diet e.t.c but never that out of shape

blimey she worked hard

"feeding time "

I must confess I did have a way with the ladies when a younger man probably due to me being a nurse and not being in the least phased by how pretty they were or it seems in this case weren't. One night at uni will forever live in my hall of shame and as with many of these stories it was drink related. Hadn't a clue because I was so steaming but apparently I was on for a real cracker that night who had taken a fancy to me but at the end of the night somehow found myself walking home a wheezing waddling giant who wouldn't have looked out of place in WWF. No shiit she must have been well over 20 stones and she was no looker. Think Alice Cooper rather than the old version of Alison Moyet.

Got knows how Percy did the business but he did. I remember waiting a discreet 10 minutes and resolved to exit with what little shred of dignity I had left. As I stirred to get up she heaved a huge leg on top of me which must have caused an earthquake on the other side of Leicester and growled the immortal words, "Where the fucck do you think you're going? I haven't finished with you yet."

Thankfully, as a mexican stand off threatened to descend I managed to talk my way out as despite my prowess on a rugby field I had serious reservations what she would have done to me if she had rolled on me.

Its nice to see a few ROLLING back the years, with this thread.

i got off with this lass in my old local who had come up to stay with friends,she was quite tidy and could'nt have weighed more than 10 stone.i chatted to her on the phone a couple of times after she had gone back home and arranged to go down and see her on a bank holiday a few weeks after we'd first met.imagine my surprise when i found in this short space of time she had ballooned to almost twice the size,still i'd travelled 70 miles to see her so it would've rude not to shag her a few times,never called her again though and never made the same mistake

you should have gone to spec savers geos

I used to have constant thoughts about a fat girl at work many years ago but was eventually cured

it's a big weight off my mind

fat girl came up to me in the pub the other night "Hi, I'm Anita"

"no sh1t" I said

This was the girl Lisa Riley would call a fat baastard. Luckily it was facing away from me. I sneak out of the bed and quickly get dressed. It groans it must be feeding time

There's a women that works for our company, pleasant but with a Manc accent. I don't mean to be judgmental but she is the Ugliest women I have seen. Not had her haircut for about 10 years, about 20 stone and Sideburns Bradley Wiggens would be proud of.You know she's ugly when other women say she is.
To counteract that I was at a meeting where several people remarked "who's the bird". Only to find out it was a guy, 1 month before his Opp.

the missus,but i wouldnt swop her for the world.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13481791@N08/1370782545/

****WARNING***  Not for the faint hearted...

I imagine some of these women getting slagged off have probably slagged you lads off after too.

I have only ever been in one drunken encounter but it was with a very fit polish woman.

The downside to that was she stalked me for months after.

How on earth is size 12 chubby FFS?

Standards.

Nasty memories here.

She looked like a cross between Craig Stadler and the boulder they rolled around in 'Indiana Jones'.

Gunt, bad tattoos, bingo wings like a Stealth Bomber - the works.

remember 1 guy doing the business doogy style while she still eat her chips

A fair few years ago there was this girl I really fancied slim, blonde with great ti ts, Sue was her name. Always used to see her in the clubs with her mate Kerry who was a chubster but very pretty, Sue used to flirt and give me the odd come on but nothing really came of it until one weekend.
A friend had took over a pub out of town and a few of us hired a coach to go down there. Anyway it was a karaoke night and everyone was pi ssed up when this Sue came over, I hadn't paid her any attention and didn't even notice she was there, and said 'I want you to take me to bed', fair enough i thought, 'but Kerry has to come with us' (as long as I came I was happy, the selfish tw at that i was) I wasn't going to argue. I finally got my hands on Sue and encouraged some girl on girl action but they weren't forthcoming but you can't have everything. Kerry was left on the sidelines a fair bit as i focussed on Sue but eventually I had to turn to her............feck me what a girl she may have been twice the size but she was also twice the fu ck the girl was up for anything, by the time the night was over I decided the saying 'you can't judge a book by its cover' is extremely apt.

My first wife was skinny (less than 8 stone, 2nd around 10.5 stone, in between those
two I tasted the size 12, different class! never been with a real fat bird though,
size 16 or bigger, don't fancy it.

Onne went with a chubby.......I slapped her thigh and rode in on the ripple !!

Not quite about banging a fatty but a similar story on the subject all the same.

Back in the day when used to work in a normal job our office looked right over the high street. Every afternoon a few of us would have a cup of tea and stand at the window watching all the nice women walking past and rate them out of ten. Anyway one sunny friday afternoon the stunners were all out in force in their short skirts etc There was me, the young office junior and the new guy Keith. After umpteen 10/10's had walked past me and Keith had seen enough and sat back down, the young pervert was still standing there all afternoon. He then bursts out laughing and starts saying loud and excitedly to us... "Quick quick, come see this fat fker" we never moved  but again " Quick hurry up she is just standing there with about 6 bags of shopping, bet it is full of cream cakes the effing heefer" ..."ha ha look at her national health glasses as well, some poor b@stard is probably sh@gging her as well, poor sod " So me and Keith get up to take a look both kind of laughing and smiling with anticipation to see what this woman looks like. Well as soon as we got to the window big Keith's face went purple and he said in an angry determined voice ......"That's my fking wife " Young lad thought he was joking and kept on laughing then quipped... " ha ha even you wouldn't sh@g that, I wouldn't go near it after 12 pints"
Then it suddenly dawned he was telling the truth, had to keep the two of them apart, Big Keith was gonna kill him....still laugh about that till this day

brutally honesty never a good thing

ive had TenTonTessy

when we were younger my mate john had the motto a bucks a buck

he had absolutley no sense of revulsion every female to him was an opportunity for a jump

he didn't do embarrassment and would arrange to meet some right horrors in the local pub

when the rest of us wouldn't have dared to be seen with them in public in the daylight.

and instead of taking the urine out of them as most of us would he treated them like film stars

they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder he was the living proof

mind he was cockeyed

Clarence had a Mane

Roar!!!

What's the difference between a fatty and a jumbo jet?....A jumbo jet only has one cockpit!