WHEN WILL TEAM GB WIN THEIR FIRST MEDAL

Exactly. And do you know who I blame? I'll tell you, it's that bloke Seb Ovett who's running the Olympic Games in Beijing in 2012. Too much focus on that has cost us here.

And have you noticed not a single medal in the Rowing either. Again, I fearlessly name the guilty people. Those so-called heroes Stevie 'Vanessa' Redgrave and Matt Pinsent. One of them prefers to be a 'reporter' for the BBC now and I last saw the other doing doing unfunny adverts with a parrot for Admiral. Those knighthoods will have to go mark my words. Give both the knighthoods to Becky Adlingtown for her gold medal swims instead.

And Team Ireland also managed a big fat ZERO medals this time around, continuing their Commonwealth Games hoodoo.