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Post something 100% true that nobody on the forum will believe
Post something 100% true that nobody on the forum will believe
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It must have been around 71 when my aunty Sall took me to the circus at Bitts park,I can remember we sat right at the front of the ring the ring master was paying a lot of attention to me and Sallyrics I would relies later in life this was because Sal was youngoing blonde with big t1ts. Anyway something was about to begin when done that thingives that all 4 year old kids do "I need the toilet ", now Sall who was always easy going for some reason was not happy and told me to go to the toilet on my own. Now I didn't know where they were to which she points to the back of the tent and says back there. So I started walking towards the back of the tent following a wooden barrier with a steel arched shape roof that ran from the ringside to the back of the tent, when I got to the end I opened the flap and was greated with sight of about 15 men including the clowns in full dress leading a lion out of a mobile cage into what I now know as a caged tunnel. We at first only me and the lion seen each other I thought wow look how big he is the lion looking at me thought dinner early today, well the next thing all he'll breaks loose as the circus staff including the clowns realise what happening.
I can just remember a very angry clown say how the funk did you get back here before being lifted at great speed back into the main area. It must have been some commotion because the ringmaster and everyone else including Sall as now turned to see with some disbelief what's going on. No of this happened today the social services would be involved and it would be big news, however this the 70s and all I can remember whilst being dragged crying back to a very angry and embarrassed Sall was someone saying if was my kid I would smack his arse. Sall went to make a full recovery and is still to this day the person I know who seen Elvis live in Las Vegas |
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I once bought 1 large box and 2 small boxes of Thornton's chocolates for 9.99 off a young man with a crutch in William hills bookmakers only to get home to find they were display boxes which had dummy chocolates
Another time I bought a one 2 pound raffle ticket off a man with one leg when he came to my market stall .when I looked at the ticket properly later the winning prize had been drawn 2 years earlier .and he had complained earlier that I had only bought one ticket A young girl came to my stall crying early one morning while i was setting up my stall she asked me if I could lend her 99p as she had no money to buy an Alice band to keep her hair in place as all the other girls at school were making fun of her air .when I asked the makeup stall holder if a young girl had bought an Alice band off her .she said she buys single cigarretes from the corner shop with it .the oriental shop keeper sells single ones That's just the tip of the iceberg I've been done over more times than any other mug I know |
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I once nearly met Prince Charles but I gave him the slip.
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When I was 14, during a breaktime at school I was on the Arsenal website and voted for Thierry Henry as the club's Player of the Month. A few days later they got in touch to say I'd been picked out to present the award to Henry. I had no idea at the time it was a competition; I was simply voting for the best player that month. I was given two tickets to a game at Highbury, walked in through the Marble Halls entrance and waited in the press room where they do the post-match interviews. Henry was late and nearly didn't make it in time (he wasn't playing as he was suspended). Then I was told he'd arrived and I walked down the tunnel and onto the pitch. Gave him the award, photos taken, autograph etc. Lee Dixon nodded hello. I was asked to move at one point as I was standing in front of the opposition manager who was sat in the dug-out and someone was trying to take a photo of him. Afterwards, we had a few minutes to get out of the stadium and into the usual fan area and find our seats. I brushed past Bob Wilson on the steps outside the Marble Halls.
A few months later, on a whim, I entered a Football Focus competition. Football Focus was on Saturday lunchtime during Grandstand. They were giving away a signed shirt from each Premiership club. I won the Arsenal one. Had all the greats on it - Adams, Seaman, Vieira, Henry, Bergkamp, Pires, Ljungberg etc. etc. |
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Do Wah Diddy
It shows you are very nice man, that you fall for these scams, you have a trusting nature. I have been caught like that in my life, still am But the things that upset me most is when I have scammed someone else(I did not do it a lot). Now I am older I feel really guilty about it, and wish I had not done it  Still I have never got rich as I would have liked there is a price for everything....oh well  |
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The well known forumite akabula is actually the world famous "Riverdance" exponent Michael Flatley.
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I had half my ear chewed off by a dog... I guess he got tired of dried food
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King akabula thinks that I'm a Tim.
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The date on which Come On Eileen hit number one is closer to World War Two than to the date today.
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The date on which I was born is closer to Mafeking Night than it is to today.
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I beat a multiple World Darts Champion in a one-leg game of darts, witnessed by a small crowd, hitting the very centre of the double-top bed to clinch it.
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I won the egg and spoon race at primary school in 1975
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I’ve got the original copy of the bible in my loft.
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"The date on which Come On Eileen hit number one is closer to World War Two than to the date today."
I was listening to Metallica today and realised it was 35 years old. And it wasn't even their first album. That's terrifying. |
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the best gamblers in the world are guessers
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When I was nine years old, Jim fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded
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^ Bravo
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That wasn't a cow your were milking
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Gambling can be profitable.
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The gap between the Beatles sacking Pete Best and the festival at Woodstock was less than seven years. Think of all the bands and records and movements which came and went in those seven years.
The gap between Woodstock and the first performance of Anarchy In The UK was also less than seven years. Again, think of all the bands and records, etc. in those seven years. It's now over 43 years since Anarchy In The UK. Think of what those 43 years of youth culture have given us by comparison. |
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There were 5 English teams in this seasons Champions League
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Berwick Rangers are an English football team.
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i once had Mike Hallet in big trouble at Butlins holiday camp when i smashed in first 3 red and blacks at Butlins holiday camp in Filey- twas the year when Liverpool beat Borrusia Munchen - sadly he then went onto clear the table the cruel barsteward
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Kevin Rowland's brother taught me bizness studies.
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I wish I could still remember some of his Dexy's stories to put on this thread.
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Did those bizness studs come in use , mouse?
Come on Eileen ! "Poor Old Johnny Ray" Classic song . |
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They weren't much use Culvin, I never became a hotshot bizness man like Trump or Epstein.
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I'm glad you didn't follow epsteins path , mouse .
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#metoo
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I'll write something here later that many will not believe but it's 100% True .
I did something in 1992 that was completely Insane. Write about it later . |
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Arch-Remoaner and former Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond voted in parliament to leave the EU twice as often as Brexit big cheese Boris.
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Will be different now that the wind is blowing out of Bozzer's own arse.
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Bend with the wind until you make the wind.
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The universe is not flat like a sheet of paper.
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My dad employed a farm manager in the early 1970's.Around ten years later he told us that his dad was George Orwell.
No bull his name is Richard Blair (great guy) If my dad was George Orwell i would have told anyone and everyone.At least by 1984.Nap |
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Slightly cryptic
I went to the same school as Ghandi & Jesus albeit for only 6 months! |
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Was this farm anything to do with animals?
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Just adding to my earlier post.......Orwell's son worked on my dad's farm with no animals.ALL ARABLE
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Arable Farm. "Four Legumes good, Two Legs bad". I've read it.
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I thought the name was changed to just 'Arable' a few years back.
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