Post something 100% true that nobody on the forum will believe

selling myself short. i also represented england in amateur boxing and was captain of the team

I was at Leeza Gibbons wedding.

theres more planets up there than grains of sand  on the earth. tbh I find that hard to beleive

once upon a time I smuggled class A drugs through one of if not the best secured airport in the world

(not in me bumhole)

another yougoslavia/ bosnia here in less than 20 years

pandora1963 IS allowed to post again on a thread he started

That's not how it works, her part is merely to open the box.

Alison Moyet was violently sick after snogging pandora1963

I punched Ozzy Osbourne in the face at a London party.

Doubt he'd have felt it Johnny given his habits but well done anyway

I used to run Depeche Modes xmas parties at which Alison Moyet was a guest every year
and no i did not snog her(feel like i missed out here).
Stuart Bingham used to come and watch me play snooker.

twizzle

you definitely would not believe a few things i could put up; but modesty forbids me

grappler 12 Aug 19 20:34 Joined: 16 Jun 04 | Topic/replies: 1,626 | Blogger: grappler's blog
i own or control 6 of the best pubs in london

Wetherspoons. Nap.

The universe is flat , as flat as a sheet of paper

trolling is the most original thing since sliced bread

Aug 12, 2019 -- 9:49PM, Johnny_Mustang wrote:

grappler 12 Aug 19 20:34 Joined: 16 Jun 04 | Topic/replies: 1,626 | Blogger: grappler's blogi own or control 6 of the best pubs in londonWetherspoons. Nap.

Missed out the 'e' NB

Johnny_Mustang • August 12, 2019 9:49 PM BST
grappler 12 Aug 19 20:34 Joined: 16 Jun 04 | Topic/replies: 1,626 | Blogger: grappler's blog
i own or control 6 of the best pubs in london

Missed out the 'e' NB

the big attractor is just another star cluster,the scientists are waffling.

I was mistaken for Frankie Dettori in Tokyo.

you must be a tall chap then acey

Flanky Detolly Ah so

Japanese Lady ran towards me wanting m Autograph she was very excited.

Hope she didn't run into a lamp post like the young lad chasing Salah.

I have a betting slip with Ronnie O Sullivan to win the World Snooker Championship at odds of 100/1

I was almost eaten by a lion

A  lady Customer of mine once bought a 12.99 red two piece suit off my stall on the market and went to royal Ascot,and the BBC  TV fashion presenter said look at that lady with that suit on .shes one of the best dressed ladies at royal Ascot today
I was to fashion what the beetles were to music

I nearly drowned in a swimming pool on holiday when I was 9, I struggled to get to the surface & waved frantically, my mum was about 100 years away, she saw me waving




She waved back

PS I even knocked one pound off it and gave it her for 11.99 and she never even asked for a pound off.
I looked after my customers

Pandy works for B/F and only ever start threads which can't be reported, and fools rush in.

start's*

That's her usual m.o. foxy, but she did just poast a reply on here

https://community.betfair.com/horse_racing/go/thread/view/94102/31562497/what-percentage-of-gambling-addicts-start-with-betting-on&post_num=8#557745065

For those who do not know, you can only find the 'report button' on posts
and not the opening topic.

Thanks mm not reportable (by 'her' usual standards), but bloody well spotted.

Hope you are well and winning.

I am not a Celtic supporter.

It must have been around 71 when my aunty Sall took me to the circus at Bitts park,I can remember we sat right at the front of the ring the ring master was paying a lot of attention to me and Sallyrics I would relies later in life this was because Sal was youngoing blonde with big t1ts. Anyway something was about to begin when done that thingives that all 4 year old kids do "I need the toilet ", now Sall who was always easy going for some reason was not happy and  told me to go to the toilet on my own. Now I didn't know where they were to which she points to the back of the tent and says back there. So I started walking towards the back of the tent following a wooden barrier with a steel arched shape roof that ran from the ringside to the back of the tent, when I got to the end I opened the flap and was greated with sight of about 15 men including the clowns in full dress leading a  lion out of a mobile cage into what I now know as a caged tunnel. We at first only me and the lion seen each other I thought wow look how big he is the lion looking at me thought dinner early today,  well the next thing all he'll breaks loose as the circus staff including the clowns realise what happening.
I can just remember a very angry clown say how the funk did you get back here before being lifted at great speed back into the main area. It must have been some commotion because the ringmaster and everyone else including Sall as now turned to see with some disbelief what's going on. No of this happened today the social services would be involved and it would be big news, however this the 70s and all I can remember whilst being dragged crying back to a very angry and embarrassed Sall was someone saying if was my kid I would smack his arse.
Sall went to make a full recovery and is still to this day the person I know who seen Elvis live in Las Vegas

I once bought 1 large box and 2 small boxes of Thornton's chocolates for 9.99 off a young man  with a crutch in William hills bookmakers only to get home to find they were display boxes which had dummy chocolates

Another time I bought  a one 2 pound raffle ticket off a man with one leg when he came to my market stall .when I looked at the ticket properly later the winning prize had been drawn 2 years earlier .and he had complained earlier that I had only bought one ticket

A young girl came to my stall crying early one morning while i was setting up my stall she asked me if I could lend her 99p as she had  no money to buy an Alice band to keep her hair in place as all the other girls at school were making fun of her air .when I asked the makeup stall holder if a young girl had bought an Alice band off her  .she said she buys single cigarretes from the corner shop with it .the oriental shop keeper sells single ones


That's just the tip of the iceberg I've been done over more times than any other mug I know

I once nearly met Prince Charles but I gave him the slip.

When I was 14, during a breaktime at school I was on the Arsenal website and voted for Thierry Henry as the club's Player of the Month.  A few days later they got in touch to say I'd been picked out to present the award to Henry.  I had no idea at the time it was a competition; I was simply voting for the best player that month.  I was given two tickets to a game at Highbury, walked in through the Marble Halls entrance and waited in the press room where they do the post-match interviews.  Henry was late and nearly didn't make it in time (he wasn't playing as he was suspended).  Then I was told he'd arrived and I walked down the tunnel and onto the pitch.  Gave him the award, photos taken, autograph etc.  Lee Dixon nodded hello.  I was asked to move at one point as I was standing in front of the opposition manager who was sat in the dug-out and someone was trying to take a photo of him.  Afterwards, we had a few minutes to get out of the stadium and into the usual fan area and find our seats.  I brushed past Bob Wilson on the steps outside the Marble Halls.

A few months later, on a whim, I entered a Football Focus competition.  Football Focus was on Saturday lunchtime during Grandstand.  They were giving away a signed shirt from each Premiership club.  I won the Arsenal one.  Had all the greats on it - Adams, Seaman, Vieira, Henry, Bergkamp, Pires, Ljungberg etc. etc.

Do Wah Diddy

It shows you are very nice man, that you fall for these scams, you have a trusting nature.

I have been caught like that in my life, still am

But the things that upset me most is when I have scammed someone else(I did not do it a lot).

Now I am older I feel really guilty about it, and wish I had not done it

Still I have never got rich as I would have liked there is a price for everything....oh well

The well known forumite akabula is actually the world famous "Riverdance" exponent Michael Flatley.

I had half my ear chewed off by a dog... I guess he got tired of dried food

King akabula thinks that I'm a Tim.

The date on which Come On Eileen hit number one is closer to World War Two than to the date today.

The date on which I was born is closer to Mafeking Night than it is to today.

I beat a multiple World Darts Champion in a one-leg game of darts, witnessed by a small crowd, hitting the very centre of the double-top bed to clinch it.

I won the egg and spoon race at primary school in 1975

I’ve got the original copy of the bible in my loft.

"The date on which Come On Eileen hit number one is closer to World War Two than to the date today."
I was listening to Metallica today and realised it was 35 years old. And it wasn't even their first album. That's terrifying.

the best gamblers in the world are guessers

When I was nine years old, Jim fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded

^ Bravo

That wasn't a cow your were milking

Gambling can be profitable.

The gap between the Beatles sacking Pete Best and the festival at Woodstock was less than seven years. Think of all the bands and records and movements which came and went in those seven years.

The gap between Woodstock and the first performance of Anarchy In The UK was also less than seven years. Again, think of all the bands and records, etc. in those seven years.

It's now over 43 years since Anarchy In The UK. Think of what those 43 years of youth culture have given us by comparison.

There were 5 English teams in this seasons Champions League

Berwick Rangers are an English football team.

i once had Mike Hallet in big trouble at Butlins holiday camp when i smashed in first 3 red and blacks at Butlins holiday camp  in Filey- twas the year when Liverpool beat Borrusia Munchen - sadly he then went onto clear the table the cruel barsteward

Kevin Rowland's brother taught me bizness studies.

I wish I could still remember some of his Dexy's stories to put on this thread.

Did those bizness studs come in use , mouse?

Come on Eileen !

"Poor Old Johnny Ray"

Classic song .

They weren't much use Culvin, I never became a hotshot bizness man like Trump or Epstein.

I'm glad you didn't follow epsteins path , mouse .

#metoo

I'll write something here later that many will not believe but it's 100% True .
 
I did something in 1992 that was completely Insane.

Write about it later .

Arch-Remoaner and former Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond voted in parliament to leave the EU twice as often as Brexit big cheese Boris.

Will be different now that the wind is blowing out of Bozzer's own arse.

Bend with the wind until you make the wind.

The universe is not flat like a sheet of paper.

My dad employed a farm manager in the early 1970's.Around ten years later he told us that his dad was George Orwell.
No bull his name is Richard Blair (great guy)
If my dad was George Orwell i would have told anyone and everyone.At least by 1984.Nap

Slightly cryptic


I went to the same school as Ghandi & Jesus albeit for only 6 months!

Was this farm anything to do with animals?

Just adding to my earlier post.......Orwell's son worked on my dad's farm with no animals.ALL ARABLE

Arable Farm. "Four Legumes good, Two Legs bad". I've read it.

I thought the name was changed to just 'Arable' a few years back.

culvins a let down.

in 1992 I was sleeping with another mans wife.

he promised to get me back but the liar wont take my wife now.

How much was he paying you?

And was he watching?

Aug 14, 2019 -- 10:11PM, Callisto-moon wrote:

he promised to get me back but the liar wont take my wife now.

He's probably not into post-op trans, to be fair to the chap.

Aug 14, 2019 -- 10:11PM, Callisto-moon wrote:

he promised to get me back but the liar wont take my wife now.

Cuckold?

I and my mates met debbie harry and her band blondie one sunday dinner time in the europa lodge hinckley road Leicester

Nice one duke she normally hides on Sundays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJLMfFJT9ac

Dukeofpuke is winning this thus far, I so love Debby Harry and Blondie

I got a hole in one on a par 4, a huge dog leg left and the green was out of site from the tee. I just smashed my driver and hooked it  and the wind caught it and lo and behold it went in the direction of the green. I spent 5 minutes looking for the ball in the rough by the green but there it was, in the cup!

It is 40 years since the release of Rappers Delight by the Sugarhill Gang, the first recognized Rap song.

In 1980 I went to a disco in Bishops Stortford, where the guest DJ for an hour was Peter Powell (he’s very short)
Anyway, during his set he introduced two black guys who did an acapella  rap duet.
When they had finished there was a ripple of polite applause and I remember thinking WALOFS.
“Anyone could have done that with a bit of practice, no singing or musical talent required there”
And I suppose that was the point. Anyone can do it, and with the aid of a computerized backing track, it’s easy to do.

The staggering thing is 40 years on it’s still so popular.

Manchester Grammar School

I sang with Robbie Williams whilst Bonehead from Oasis played piano for us

Radio Ulster.

Denz .....meet Moneytree


aka Callisto Moon

In 2005 a Fortune Cookie company called Wonton Food Inc correctly foretold the lottery numbers resulting in a 110 winners an investigation found no fraud involved.

Betfair was created to identify successful gamblers and their systems

Coventry City turned down Kevin Keegan.At a young age, the former England manager was on trial with the Sky Blues under Jimmy Hill.

Before becoming a prolific striker for the likes of Liverpool, Hamburg and Newcastle, Hill kept a watchful eye over Keegan before deciding he wasn’t for City’s style.

And Brian Clough.

Mouse this is even more crazy.......
Keegan was later rejected by hometown club Doncaster, rumour has it for being too small.

The Sun travels through the night sky in what is known as procession, one degree of each orbit takes around 70 years a full cycle being just under 26 thousand years.
The night sky is broken up into houses of the zodiac, for around 2000 years or since the time of Jesus Christ the Sun as been in pices but we are about to enter the age of Aquarius

After the queen reading about this moulden **** on here.he was offered a knighthood.which sadly he had to politely refuse.  As he didnt have the time .as hes on here 24  7  ..the queen replied ..hes one sad feck

my paternal grandmother was in the women's ira and received a pension from the irish free state for her efforts