Inductions At Work Places

I should be fine with one of them but its the other I've got a major problem with

After try and wing it

If you refuse a job you'll lose your benefits. If they refuse you because of health issues then you'll be fine

what about a note off your doc? Good luck SS & i hope i'm wrong & it works out well for you

I wont be refusing it

But I think i'm going to be refused because of the health condition, there's no chance of not declaring it because its a health and safety issue sadly

Bap

This health condition has meant I had to book a doctors appointment last week, still waiting on a call back though ffs

I've declared my condition to the job centre and they've put it on their system but I have bothered with a doctors note to be honest

Haven't*

Bit pointless sending you to a job you cannot get

You best hope they don't ask you something simple such as what shape are the earth and moon.

Aspro

This is my point though, I've told them loads of times about my health condition. the companies don't want someone who has something that doesn't allow him to work 8 hour shifts ffs. Once I go into any type of detail about it you can see their faces pretty much saying why the fu** have you wasted our time

Its just another interview where I have to explain the "condition" to them and they knock me back ffs

Charlie

I'd answer it honestly and politely, its flat and the moon is a disc

I'd then debate them on it for the entire induction process if they liked

And then you'll be back signing on. It shows you are illiterate.

Its all opinions, Charlie

And if that was the reason they turned me down I'd like to see the job centres reaction to be honest

Any job should require a basic level of intelligence. You'd fail on that.

I bet I pass the English and Maths test, that's basic intelligence?

When I joined Royal Mail in 2003 we had a week-long induction in an office room before actually starting.  We spend the best part of one day being taught how to pick things up off the floor.  We did get paid though and had a good laugh.  Especially when, during the discussion about dog attacks, we were told to 'keep our package between us and the dog'.

Charlie is a right charmer is he not

always best to get medical evidence on your side, SS

Jun 26, 2019 -- 5:02PM, lybertyne wrote:

When I joined Royal Mail in 2003 we had a week-long induction in an office room before actually starting.

English & maths test are not difficult for the average person

I'd run for it lyber

Aspro its a bit obvious when people fail them? like surely they aren't that dumb?

Did anyone fail such tests when you were working on the programme?

Bap, yeah it would be wise to be honest

Just saying you have a condition isn't enough

well it might be a blessing in disguise, SS. Best get it done for future reference if needed

Yeah, loads failed them if I'm being honest. IQ's go in both directions from mean 100

So they failed to get the job based on that test?

Take a stool sample in with you.

No, we tested them and then tried to find work suitable to their needs. If you'd struggle with the tests then we'd probably get a car cleaning job or similar. Steady work, pays minimum wage and everyone's happy

Loads of jobs for everyone out there. Low IQ doesn't mean unemployable

My only gripe with the system is zero hour contracts

Aspro its not the job centre testing me its the company for this induction

And I don't see how they can be failed

You'll be fine with the tests. Your posts suggest that, hence why they've put you up. Makes your adviser look good and doing his/her job

I would have doubted that they still have induction ceremonies at work places now like they used to, you know, when all the women strip you naked and smother your body with oil and then smear you with all the fine metal shavings from the factory floor.

a voice of experience, Mac?

Best day at work I ever had.

wouldn't have minded that myself tbph My Aileen just sticks to the whip & strap on

i do hope nellie isn't watching this topic

The main issue for me regarding this condition is I haven't ever bothered to get medical "evidence"

So essentially the condition doesn't exist until that happens, although I've set the wheels in motion with the doctors

But any condition declared at the work interviews etc and being turned down is still technically classed as being rejected?

It is time I got it checked out though, the older I get the worse it gets

How much do Embarrassing Bodies pay?

An hour of that is the induction bumming.

Not when they see his "complaint".

Dukes?

My complaint?

Its a condition, mouse

So is mine.

Hernia?

If it is, it is easily sorted.

Good luck with your interview.

Thing is mac I don't even know what job I'm suppose to be getting interviewed/inducted for

They put my name forward for the induction process and I've just to turn up with no idea what I'm actually applying for

Bonkers

And it isn't hernia its skin and bad eye sight, the eye sight is a major concern because I suffer from migraines with it and once that kicks off its done for the afternoon, can't see straight and there's flashing lights or weird static lines like a crinkle crisp if that makes any sense? there's no way a company is going to risk that in those types of environment, I wont just be making mistakes.

We'll see how it goes but I struggle to ever beyond the initial part of an interview

Once a migraine kicks off I need a darkened room, like just to relax my rest my eyes

Can't see a manager taking to kindly to me just hopping off to the canteen and switching the lights off and shutting the blinds for an hour "rest" ffs

Its poor vision being a problem to boot as well

Its no good even without a migraine

Sorry to hear that SS. If you don`t mind me asking, Are they forcing you to go by threatening to stop your benefits? Reading between the lines, it seems to me that you are currently unfit for work. See your doctor mate and go on the sick.

Nah not really, the adviser I've got doesn't seem to taking my health conditions on board though

I suppose that's the nature of the game? and I've got a doctors appointment coming up, just waiting for them to get back to me

I use to be quite shurggish about my eye sight and condition when I was in my early 20s, but now its different, its no longer a case I deny its nothing. Its not good and I'd be a danger to others around me in a working environment to be honest, I've been laid off multiple times in my late teens and early 20s because of poor working mistakes caused by poor vision.

Its a case of there's a job coming up and I'd look good if I got 10 people into work

And I've just been placed on it

Box ticking and all that

I'd love to join in with a working banter again, it was always fun working around factory lads and lasses to be honest

Always be confident in an interview, have a few cans of cider beforehand.

get the help you need SS; don't let pride get in the way. you're a sound chap & i wish you all the best

There's a alcohol test, Richie

And cheers Bap

Its the 28th not the 27th

I looked keen though, turned up a day early

I'm sure they have made a note of that in your file and it won't count against you. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they just let you skip the IQ test.

My IQ is sky high

Its the bestest IQ in the world, a stable genius you might say

good grief, SS how did you manage that

If the IQ test doesn't work out for you SS, I'm sure the drug/alcohol tests will be more positive.

The Management

My drug consumption must be sky high? because of all the processed meat we consume? not to mention all the fizzy drinks and coffee

alcohol consumption is zero though, don't touch it, but then again I sometimes wonder why I don living in this country

you seriously don't drink?

Nope

But reading about some of the theories about the Earth being round/ball I sometimes think I should

My mate did an all dayer like yours. Food production, on a production line. They have the tests to make sure people who were not born here have basis literacy etc. You`ll be certain to get a job as there is usually a high turn over of staff.

Shanelee

Its the health conditions that will effect my chances not the tests

The tests are a doddle, but I assume the application process part of it will mean I'm scratched

Hopefully not though

SS
I don't believe a word you say. You're quite reasonable for a newbie wind-up merchant but not quite there yet. Keep trying and you'll improve.

A few months ago poppy seeds being sold on rolls had enough opium in them such that people were failing drugs tests. Make sure you turn up with a hummus and avocado roll from a boutique sandwich shop, and remove the needle from your forearm.

Charlie

There's no lying here

Its genuine

So you say.
My prediction is that you wont get the, supposed, job. If I thought it was genuine I'd wish you luck. If you do get the job then I assume you wont be posting on here during the day.

If you look very closely at the reflections in that photo you can see that Baphornet took the photo naked

Wonder why Baphornet is posting a picture of a bugle. He must have a weird mind.

***Bait Alert***

So good he posted it twice. As I said weird.

SS is far too wise for Charlie baitbox anyway, but just to be on the safe side

get used to it baitbox

Weird.

Why don't you poast a baitbox?

i think there is a topic in urgent need of an answer, time to log out & in again?

Definitely weird.

bottie smacking leads to repetitive one or two word answers; not weird - just point proven

Sounds like Dr Drippin and Baphornet should get together as they share the same fantasy. They could spank each other's bottoms, God forgive.

forbid? You seem to suffer from my trolls misuse of words, baitbox?

Crippen has just patented his new self bottom spanking device.

Sorry bottom spanking fetisher. May God forive you. I never said forbid.

Heaven forfend

I did say forive though. A typo.

nice try; but unfortunately for you; too late

You are funny. But as per normal no idea what you are on about. Do you like spanking bottoms?

You will be embarrassed when you read this thread tomorrow.

the day you see me embarrassed (or banned) will be when your toes have turned up
this will make great reading to those who know what you & your twin are; & for those who didn't know, well now they do

So far you have not got a single thing correct as usual.

No need to be ashamed I think you can spank as many bottoms as you want with agreeing parties. You two spank away but leave me out of it.

you consistently abused the topic starter on his own platform by calling him names & using derogatory remarks, even though he was baring his soul for all to see, & then you call me a PERVERT yet you think i should be ashamed?
so when you wake up & suffer the embarrassment you say i should feel after reading your abusive posts; do yourself a favour &  report yourself to the mods

Sadly the result I thought

Not really suitable for a fast paced warehouse/factory sadly, and my condition prevents me from doing so

Sounds like you need a sick paper innit. **** getting stressed about jobs you're incapable of doing.

inductions,safety passport courses,skill tests, etc free holiday if your ever sat next to a pole ,eastern European at one of these courses,free bourbon biscuit if you end up working with one on the same job

There was a few polish lads there, 1tp

I don't have a problem with them though, they are willing to come here and work and the one's there were asking if there was going to be plenty of overtime as well, they just wanna get on with it and work.

They were quite young as well, one of them was only about 18 and wanted all the overtime that was being offered, don't think an english lad that age would have been so keen on all the weekend work to be honest

Richie_Burnett • June 26, 2019 11:29 PM BST
Always be confident in an interview, have a few cans of cider beforehand.

.................... spoken like a true alkie

A few nerve settlers never hurt anyone, Reynard!

Better to have Polish there, the women are more attractive than our own. Very nice.

Sexual harassment and alcohol abuse within the workplace , a combination that will probably lead to disaster . That may go a long way to explaining the criminal record

That's not harassment. If anything, it's a compliment.

I employed a lot of Polish workers for the company I worked with.
They rarely let us down and had a great work ethic.

Whatever happened to The Management, I remember having a good old chortle at a particular response he made within this thread.

SontaranStratagem • June 27, 2019 1:01 PM BST

Its the 28th not the 27th

I looked keen though, turned up a day early 



The Management • June 27, 2019 1:09 PM BST

I'm sure they have made a note of that in your file and it won't count against you. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they just let you skip the IQ test.