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RacingCert
23 May 19 18:33
Joined:
Date Joined: 08 Aug 01
| Topic/replies: 26,785 | Blogger: RacingCert's blog
Presenting my polling card the guy at the desk read out my number on the electoral roll.
“All the sixes.” he said, “6 6 6”.
The woman, attractive and 20 years my junior, behind me in the queue said, “The Devil.”
“That’s me,” said I rather weakly.
I had held the door open for her as she approached the polling station so as to check her out properly and she was not a bad sort.
Coming back home I thought what would better lines have been.
“You’d better believe it.”
“Yes. I’m in disguise.”

Perhaps one of the many players on here could have done better.
Any better retorts? (Can hardly be worse)
Pause Switch to Standard View Did I just miss a flirting...
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Report annie. May 23, 2019 6:47 PM BST
I am not a lover of men 'winking', but done right in this circumstance and with a devilish smile, very important, would have been appropriate.  However, if done wrongly would be creepy.
Report annie. May 23, 2019 6:48 PM BST
I am not a lover of men 'winking', but done right in this circumstance and with a devilish smile, very important, would have been appropriate.  However, if done wrongly would be creepy.
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 6:52 PM BST
"were you 88 and where's your friend?" would have been my boudoir guaranteeing retort.
Report TINnotaTON May 23, 2019 6:59 PM BST
id have asked her was her number my favourite "69"
Report annie. May 23, 2019 7:12 PM BST
Just Checking, I don't get your reply, can you enlighten me please?
Report Dr Crippen May 23, 2019 7:15 PM BST
666 The Devil?

“That’s me,” said I rather weakly.

And immediately Peter Cushing appeared, staked him through the heart and drove it home with a mallet.
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:16 PM BST
I use bingo calls to chat up women Wink And the joke was of course I wouldn't say that and boudoirs are the last place that would lead Wink.
Report RacingCert May 23, 2019 7:18 PM BST
Have a lot of success with the ladies, do you, JC?
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:20 PM BST
Long drawn out sigh..
Report annie. May 23, 2019 7:20 PM BST
id have asked her was her number my favourite "69"

TINnotaTON and everyone else on here, this is not a good reply.  Unless you know someone, bringing sex into the conversation with a woman you don't know is a no no, I think. Especially in this day and age.
Report annie. May 23, 2019 7:22 PM BST
Although i presume you were joking and would have not said that.
Report mouse muldoon May 23, 2019 7:23 PM BST
You've got nice baps luv.
Report TINnotaTON May 23, 2019 7:24 PM BST
Apologies for my rather lame humour annie, yes it was a joke Cry
Report lux May 23, 2019 7:24 PM BST
My response would have been to look her hard in the eyes and recount the following with gravitas...

Woe to you, oh earth and sea
For the Devil sends the beast with wrath
Because he knows the time is short
Let him who hath understanding
Reckon the number of the beast
For it is a human number
Its number is six hundred and sixty six


closely followed by a cheeky smirk...

but I appreciate thats just me Cool
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:27 PM BST
Would help to know if she was wearing an Iron Maiden T Shirt.
Report mouse muldoon May 23, 2019 7:29 PM BST
The Iron Maiden hand signal think would be worth a punt, or if you thing that might look a bit silly just do a horns/fingers thing on your head.
Report mouse muldoon May 23, 2019 7:29 PM BST
thing  think
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:30 PM BST
Hmm I just realised something .... surprised this has never been though of before (that I've encountered).
That was written way back in biblical times, not now. So what "human number" would that have been? The FILM etc always show 666 which is culturally arrogant.

What system did they use then? Roman? Some egyptian or Greek System? So if it was Roman, you need to be looking out for:
"DCLXVI"

If you see THAT on someone's head, run, or be nice to them. Maybe sing something from Seventh Son of Seventh Son.
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:32 PM BST
It wasn't really Maiden who did that devils horns hand signal thing so much? The most common one I think was Dio but if I remember correctly he got that as it's a sign his religious / superstitious Italian granny used to use, old Italians being into that sort of thing. I think it might even have been meant to ward OFF the devil.
Report Dr Crippen May 23, 2019 7:33 PM BST
Good thinking JC.
Report mouse muldoon May 23, 2019 7:33 PM BST
(shisha) שִׁשָּׁה
Report annie. May 23, 2019 7:34 PM BST
Glad you hear it, TINnotaTON Happy

I don't want to sound like a prig, but I know a lot of men on here are single and need some help with the ladies - so I try to give some advice if necessary.  Even now it makes me cringe when a man tries to chat me up and mentions sex.  A man in my local pub who drives a flash car, is very well spoken and interesting to talk to but he ruins it by talking about sex.  If the woman you are with does not mention it, YOU DON'T!
Report RacingCert May 23, 2019 7:35 PM BST
So, Annie, i’ll let you score this thing.
Who has the best (least worst) line?
Report mouse muldoon May 23, 2019 7:37 PM BST
Are you bearing my mark, or just a sh!t tattoo?
Report annie. May 23, 2019 7:37 PM BST
Woe to you, oh earth and sea
For the Devil sends the beast with wrath
Because he knows the time is short
Let him who hath understanding
Reckon the number of the beast
For it is a human number
Its number is six hundred and sixty six

closely followed by a cheeky smirk...


That would have impressed me no end, lux Happy

But do you really remember it all?
Report RacingCert May 23, 2019 7:39 PM BST
Good call, Annie.
It knocks everything else out of the park.
Report Make my hay May 23, 2019 7:42 PM BST
“The Devil.”

Yes, and did you fall from heaven too?
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:42 PM BST
I just had a quick google, I thought that the 666 thing was from the old testament but it's from the new, and written 1st century AD so awful lot of Romans about?
And wiki has an entire section on 666. And it gets even more confusing, it might be Greek and not even 666, but 616?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_of_the_Beast
So add
616
DCXVI
χξϛ
χιϛ
to your list of things on heads to run away from.
Report Dr Crippen May 23, 2019 7:42 PM BST
As W C Fields used to say.

''Never try to impress a lady - because that pace is devastating.''
Report lux May 23, 2019 7:45 PM BST
Massive NWOBHM fan annie, so yes I know it so well.

I did actually say this to a check out girl once after my shop came to the aforementioned, but only the first 3 lines, seemed to amuse her anyhow.
Report mouse muldoon May 23, 2019 7:45 PM BST
Back in the modern world, 737 is now considered more dangerous than 666 and 616 combined.
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 7:48 PM BST
If that works, start quoting Diamond Head to move things up a gear.
Report annie. May 23, 2019 8:06 PM BST
I think I saw Iron Maiden at the Ruskin Arms, lux, but it was soo long ago Happy
Report Reynard May 23, 2019 8:44 PM BST
Probably , they had a residency at the Ruskin Arms , Manor Park . Then they kinda outgrew the gaff Cool
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 9:19 PM BST
Ahh. So like many things that get out of control, it grew Ruskin Arms AND Legs?
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 9:20 PM BST
There is an interesting historical documentary (in 2 or 3 parts) about Iron Maiden's early days on YT, I think it was originally a special thing for a DVD but is now freely available. Well wrth a watch for any fan who hasn't seen it.
Report peckerdunne May 23, 2019 9:35 PM BST
Devil, i'm no devil love and i bet your no Angel.....ha ha
Report Reynard May 23, 2019 9:45 PM BST
I also remember a band called 'Ethel The Frog' playing the Ruskin Arms Grin
Report Reynard May 23, 2019 10:15 PM BST
.......... and 'Toad The Wet Sprocket' Grin
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 11:13 PM BST
Toad the Wet Sprocket were actually very good! They named themself after a Monty Python fake band, they thought it was so ridiculous they took the name and made a REAL band. My fav by them is the excellent somethings always wrong, which is the one I heard first that got me interested.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK7bwIVrQFs
Not sure I like the "playing in bare feet" thing. Wouldn't happen in a dive bar with a stage covered in glass :P

They played the Ruskin Arms? That's very interesting, they were fairly big in the US in the 90s.
Report Just Checking May 23, 2019 11:15 PM BST
Actually that begs the question, can you remember, did he play in bare feet then? I suppose in a pub like that the stage won't be elevated enough to see unless you were at the front, if it was busy?
Report UBLE/REGY May 24, 2019 12:49 AM BST
I would not have done any better just checking..if that helps

You could have asked her home to see where you have your 666 Tattoo on your body

Still she may  have then asked security to eject you as a pervert
Report Pokermonster May 24, 2019 2:04 AM BST
Once in the booth you should have surreptitiously set the ballot paper on fire with your cigarette lighter, turned around holding the flaming sheet and said “Sorry! That’s always happening. Can I have another one, please?”
Report terry mccann May 24, 2019 7:03 AM BST
"An angel in the kitchen but a devil in bed" has always worked for meBlush
Report Reynard May 24, 2019 8:52 AM BST
JC - Maybe not the Ruskin but I'm sure it was a small venue .Possibly very early '80's but it was a long time ago Blush
Report RacingCert May 24, 2019 9:03 AM BST
Chaps, if you must talk about some third rare metal combo, please start your own thread.
Report Reynard May 24, 2019 9:06 AM BST
And there was us thinking the Polling Station Flirting 'thing' had run it's course .........................
Report Hanx May 24, 2019 9:16 AM BST
Chaps, if you must talk about some third rare metal combo, please start your own thread.

October this year and off to see Saxon, Girlschool, Krokus and Diamond Head at The Hammersmith Odeon (it'll never be the Appollo!)

Am I remembering correctly?

Did Iron Maiden ever play The Bridge House in Canning Town? Saw a few bands there back in the day.
Report RacingCert May 24, 2019 9:26 AM BST
Reynard, only because you lack imagination.
Report Reynard May 24, 2019 9:35 AM BST
Paul Young and the Q-Tips were regulars at The Bridge House .
I saw Girlschool supporting Motorhead on their Bomber tour and Saxon when they supported Iron Maiden (I think - could have been Def Leppard or Whitesnake ? Memory going Sad
Report Reynard May 24, 2019 9:37 AM BST
Racing Cert - I don't lack imagination . It's actually quite furtive Cool
Report RacingCert May 24, 2019 10:41 AM BST
Reynard, the q-tips ! Now you are talking. I saw them back in the 70’s when I was at uni.
Report Reynard May 24, 2019 10:45 AM BST
Played the Bridge House early to mid 80's , if memory serves (which it tends not to these days) Plain
Report RacingCert May 24, 2019 11:12 AM BST
Oops! Easily done.
Report Just Checking May 24, 2019 11:58 AM BST
Toad the wet sprocket are nothing at all like a metal band, and racingcert appears to be a rather poor little troll. Noted.
Report Hanx May 24, 2019 1:00 PM BST
Maybe they're thinking about Ethel The Frog?!
Report Just Checking May 24, 2019 3:50 PM BST
You've never heard their electric triangle solos.
Report Just Checking May 24, 2019 3:53 PM BST
There MUST be some smarmy line something like "Better the devil you know, or get to know, *lean* *wink*" or something like that.

I'm channeling my inner Kylie but I can't quite see it, and I'm a well known winker.
Report RacingCert May 24, 2019 5:43 PM BST
Just Checking, read the thread through again, you sad f**k.
I have never been called a troll and anyone who could suggest such a thing must be deluded.
I challenge you to to find one person to agree with you.
You are duly “noted” by me as an effing a hole of unprecedented proportions.
Report alun2005 May 24, 2019 5:51 PM BST
Do I get any marks for saying that 'Ethel The Frog' was a fictional TV show in a Monty Python episode, and 'Toad The Wet Sprocket" were a fictional band in an episode of 'Rutland Weekend Television'?
Report peckerdunne May 24, 2019 6:09 PM BST
folk get so uptight and irate about what happens in a vacuous space
Report RacingCert May 24, 2019 6:24 PM BST
Pecker, I’ve been on CC since year dot and rarely have I been annoyed by anything but I am not letting that go.
Report Just Checking May 24, 2019 8:14 PM BST
Alun I think you win the internet. And your special prize for such knowledge must surely be an anorak and a nice tartan thermos of tea!
Report themightymac May 24, 2019 8:22 PM BST
RacingCert one of the best posters on here from day one. Definitely not a troll.

..... only thing that puzzles me is that it has taken him so long to realise that JC is an effing a hole of unprecedented proportions. LaughLaugh
Report Just Checking May 24, 2019 8:24 PM BST
Still won't let that chip on your shoulder go will you eh mac!
Report themightymac May 24, 2019 8:28 PM BST
I`m perfectly balanced thanks JC, got a chip on both shoulders Crazy
Report RacingCert May 26, 2019 6:24 AM BST
Thank you for your intervention, Oh Mighty One.
I think I’ll block Jc.
Report mouse muldoon May 26, 2019 9:44 AM BST
I've blocked the lot of yous.
Report RacingCert May 26, 2019 10:02 AM BST
Did think your posts were a bit random tbh, mozza.
Report ericster June 2, 2019 9:42 AM BST
Did I miss an opportunity to be-friend in Asda'S?

I was standing by the newspaper section, I'd paused to check the lottery tickets. You know, numbers, draw-date etc. When a woman, in her fifties Id reckon. It looked as though she'd just walk around the displays reading the news headlines, casually commented, might have just been thinking aloud now I think of it, " The country's in a mess. There was a genuine expression of dismay and concern on her face.
It caught me totally unawares, I hadn't seen it, or her, coming.
" Tell me about it." Was all I could think of, and then she was gone.
I missed, what I would consider to be an opportunity, because she was no air-head, I think.
Just those five little words, and the tone of her voice, suggested to me that she was a bit of a thinker. I like that.

Oh well, ces't la vie ericster.

Ces't la vie.
Report RacingCert June 2, 2019 1:13 PM BST
Don’t be too harsh on yourself, Ericster.
“Tell me about it.” is an invitation if nothing else.

Maybe next time you could upgrade it to, “would you like to tell be about it over a nice bottle of merlot?”
Report mouse muldoon June 2, 2019 1:29 PM BST
"I blame the muslamics".
Report Reynard June 2, 2019 2:15 PM BST
Quel surprise ! An anti-islam comment on a thread about flirting .
Plenty of 'Islam' threads on here on which to spout your rhetoric without poisoning light-hearted threads such as this Crazy
Report ericster June 2, 2019 2:51 PM BST

Jun 2, 2019 -- 1:13PM, RacingCert wrote:


Don’t be too harsh on yourself, Ericster.“Tell me about it.” is an invitation if nothing else.Maybe next time you could upgrade it to, “would you like to tell be about it over a nice bottle of merlot?”


Interesting thoughts there RC.
And responding with how I did might suggest that I was, at the very least, in agreement with what she said.
Not sure about the merlot.
I reckon the old biscuit-tin might stretch to the expense of a Belgian bun and a cup of Yorkshire tea in the Sterling cafe' though.

Oh dear,
I DO hope that I'm not turning into an old gas-bag as I age. After all my years of going it along, I suddenly find myself wanting to get to know people. Well... not "know" exactly. Make acquaintances? I'm not sure really.

Report RacingCert June 2, 2019 3:00 PM BST
Ericster,
Did she look a “Belgian bun and Yorkshire tea” kinda woman?
I guess ther’s no point splurging on a decent red if she’ll spread them for a cuppa.

On your second point and I guess i’m not too different age wise to you (and recently widowered) one must appear not to be too desperate. Misery likes company and all that.
On a personal note, way to soon really for me but I am missing female company.
Report ericster June 2, 2019 7:54 PM BST
RC,
I'm in my sixties, I've been married for thirty years and I to am missing female company,spread 'em shmead 'em who needs it?
What I'd really like is some intelligent, not too intelligent of course, conversation.
Also, we're talking about Asda's here.
And she was perusing the headlines seemingly not wanting to actually BUY one.
I doubt that it was a case of not being able to afford the price a newspaper.
Maybe disapproves of newspapers and/or the media coverage surrounding the Tory and Brexit fiasco. Who knows?
She's probably happily married with very respectable, professional, grown up children with children of their own and wouldn't consciously go within a mile of someone like me, and WAS simply thinking aloud.
Report Reynard June 2, 2019 8:04 PM BST
Sounds like classic GILF material Grin
Report ericster June 2, 2019 8:09 PM BST

Jun 2, 2019 -- 8:04PM, Reynard wrote:


Sounds like classic GILF material


I don't think so. Not sure if I could manage nowadays. Too much like hard work anyway. all that heaving and sweating and for what? To lie in a sticky smell wet patch. And I don't like being laughed at.

Report RacingCert June 3, 2019 7:09 AM BST
Ericster,
Someone like you?
Clearly well educated and literate enough and a capable communicator.
What’s not to like?
But, yes, probably talking to herself although perhaps sensed a kindred spirit.
Anyway if she’s younger than you let her do the hard work.
Report ericster June 3, 2019 8:46 AM BST
RC,

"kindred spirit"? Could be.

Or "talking to herself"? Ditto.

"Younger than me." ?
Probably, I  think. I would reckon about mid-fifties.

And:
After all this talking I shall probably never lay eyes on her again.
I don't hang around when I'm out shopping. I'm not for sight-seeing. Could easily pass her in the street without realising, and I don't know if I'd recognise her if I saw her again anyway.
Report ericster June 3, 2019 10:42 AM BST
Y'know?
I've giving this a lot of thought lately and.......

We, well, some of us, men-folk of a certain age, we talk about " wanting female company, wanting a woman." And I wonder.
I was never the most sociable person, ever, I lost it with people a couple of life-times ago,  yes, I got those urges that plague and torment the male psyche, and we all had our way of temporarily relieving the tension until an opportunity presented  itself. You did it, I did it, still do I'm afraid but not so often nowadays.
My point is, in recent times, after knocking one off, my first thoughts are.... "Do I really need a woman?"

All this pea-cocking, and posturing, what's it all about eh? Do you REALLY want to be rutting in your sixties and seventies?
If, like me, you were never very lucky with the ladies way back in the day, are we just still trying to fulfill some kind of desire, fantasy, dream, whatever?
Maybe it's just part of who and what we are, a primal thing and we're just wired that way. Perpetuation of the species, "the sexual imperative " and all that.
I personally, think as I'm ageing, it would be nice to make a few female acquaintances but I wouldn't want too spend much time with them. Keep it short and sweet, just like knocking one off I suppose, but without the hassle. getting "down and dirty"......mmmmmmmmmm...... I really don't know. Never say never I suppose.

Life eh?
Report RacingCert June 3, 2019 11:19 AM BST
E, yes you have been giving it quite some thought indeed.
Nothing ventured and all that though.
Main thing though surely is to have no regrets.
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