Chelsea flower show ticket prices for the public

Bunch of daffodils cost

I think that loving daffodils that much is a bit narcissusistic.

I didn't say I loved them. and don't use big complicated words like narcissistic that I don't know the meaning of .I don't know if you've even spelt it right

I bet the queen and her entourage got in for nowt..lets face it her lot can afford to pay in like the rest of us.

Yes soffe they give her free flowers.
They wouldn't let my friend use their toileets when he was took short one day .
He Sh*t himself

Yes soffe they give her free flowers.
They wouldn't let my friend use their toileets when he was took short one day .
He Sh*t himself

Yes soffe they give her free flowers.
They wouldn't let my friend use their toileets when he was took short one day .
He Sh*t himself

Dirty protest ?

"I didn't say I loved them. and don't use big complicated words like narcissistic that I don't know the meaning of .I don't know if you've even spelt it right "

It was a joke.. narcissus is the wider name for the group of plants we also call daffodils. I didn't expect you to get it I suppose but someone else on the forum might have..

I got it !

And for that, my next crap plant themed joke will be about catnip! :P

Of course DwD knew what was meant.

Of course I knew what it meant it was one of the first words that i learnt at primary school.we had pictures on the wall a is for apple b is for boy c is for cat d is for dog,e is for elephant ETC IT WAS ME WHO ASKED THE TEACHER WHY IS THERE NO PICTURE FOR e is for narcissusistic

And she told me not to talk when I'm eating my bacon buttie .that's why I know what it means .I went home and asked the milkman what it meant the following day as imines my mam and dad wouldn't know what it meant

Should be n is for narcissusistic not e above

When people stop me in the street and ask me what do remember about primary school I tell them about those pictures on the wall first

Then I tell them about the little girl who sat next to me with a smelly nappy on

It's hard enough trying to learn at  primary school .you shouldn't have to worry about where an horrible smell is comeing from

I told her in the playground why no one would play skipping with her in the playground and she punched me in the face

I didn't have many friends in the play ground not because of a dirty nappy mine was clean
It's just that nobody liked me

When they used to play the farmers in his den they used to make her stay outside the circle and make her stay in the farmers pig pen

When they used to play the farmers in his den they used to make her stay outside the circle and make her stay in the farmers pig pen

I never got the A is for Apple routine, because where I come from they pronounce Apple as Opple.

So how could Opple be spelt with a A?

When they played London bridge is falling down they wouldn't let me play it as they said I would be in the way when they were building it back up again

For years I thought l was for little lion and L was for big lion

Another word was ''whole'' pronounced ''wool''

One boy was absent and his mate told the teacher he'd gone to the hospital after being hit on the head with a wool brick. 
The teacher said well why would being hit with a brick made of wool hurt?

He didn't last long.

We all had a tin of imitation shells to help us with our counting .but it was very confusing when unsent to Blackpool beach and found out that shells weren't made of plastic

I asked the teacher why we didn't use proper shells to count with .and she told me that the tide was in when they went for them

Even though I loved my teacher she never took me home to play with her toys with me so I never asked her home to play at my house with my toys

In them days if your mam forgot to pick you up the teacher didn't take you back in the classroom and look after you untill they came .they just locked the school gate and you was lucky if they gave you an old newspaper to put over your head if it was raining
if it hadn't been for a policeman finding me one night .a pack of dogs might have eaten me

The only time i  was taken to school in a car was when one stopped at the zebra crossing
And a man gave me some toffees to get in
And I never got in one again

Things were different when I went to school teachers were allowed to hit you lots of my friends still have cauliflower ears and broken noses

Your parents couldn't put a claim in for compensation .when the teacher broke your arm or scarred your face when they through a knife at you for talking .they put a claim in these days even if the teacher looks the wrong way at you these days

You couldn't  say you were not eating your semalina pudding at school dinners or the teacher would ram it down your throat

You couldn't take a note in school off your parents saying you had a cold and can't go to your swimming lesson .otherwise they would throw you in the canal to show how important it was not to miss one

Not a single primeinister came from any of the schools I attended .in fact not a single one worked in an office .and some of them could spell some words and one girl could even say her 5 times table all the way through apart from nine fives

I see.

Fat Mary and fat Susan got the best jobs they worked on the cadburys chocolate conveyor belt .packing the bars of chocolate not only did they eat them .but they could sell boxes of them to their friends when the security guard was off ill

Their houses were filled to the top with cadburys milk chocolate bars .I'm sure that's where they got most of the money to buy their bently cars some malicious people said they got it from their part time prostiute jobs .but like ive always said there's not many men looking for a very fat girl unless their desperate

I'm sure they didn't do it for the money they just wanted someone to make love to them

Mind you people say to me you always look for the best in people

Got to go now no pot noodles left got to prepare my tin of chicken soup for the cooker