Opening a Tin Of Corned Beef

I take it you're not a millennial.

It can be done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CNX5h1Y-lg

But agree, I don't know how much profit Corn beef selling companies make, but I can only imagine how much money they've lost through customers failing to open the tin once and never buying one again, you're standing there in the supermarket aisle, thinking, contemplating, should I risk my hard earned £2.50 giving this another go or should I buy something else, your brain is wired to save money at every turn, so you just walk away.

If only they were not so stubborn to stick to their ridiculous square headed design and just morph into a roundhead, would be popular with the ladies anyhow.

I say its impossible, mankind can send a probe to Mars and send Pictures of Jupiter and yet no one can come up with a better way of these ridiculous keys.

I feel the same about garage doors. They can send a man to the moon and yet they still manufacture up and over garage doors with wires each end. When these snap they are an absolute b@stard to replace. Why no alternative?

The problem is after 10 mins of getting the key to finally start turning going round the first bend you feel like you've cracked it ,but you know problems lay ahead because the key is getting bigger and bigger with every turn by the time you approach the final corner the thing snaps .... the real problem then out of sheer frustration you try lifting whats left of the tin cutting your finger and the kitchen ends up like a scene from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

I got an email selling what I thought was a corned beef can opener. Turned out to be spam.

5 inch angle grinder from aldi comes in handy, don't forget to wear your goggles,gloves and write out a risk accessment before attacking the tin,

clearly you are all of this silly millenial snowflake generation

you are never a man until you can open a can and eat bully beef 

thank goodness I would never have to have any of you standing next to me in the trenches

what a mob you are. shame on you

Very good Crisp 77

I like corned beef. So I buy the packed slices from Sainsburys . Very tasty - and keyless.

as I said - one of these wimps ^^

I can't see refugees eating it

Really ?

collaborator ALERT

Of course , once opened that is not the end of the struggle . Now you have the not so simple task of extracting the meat from the tin in one piece . Gently squeezing alternate sides occasionally works . Failure to succeed using this method leads to the 'ketchup' method whereby one makes downward thrusting movements stopping abruptly just short of the work surface . Beware on the backstroke because if the previous downward thrust has only partially worked it is entirely possible for the meat to extract itself over ones shoulder rendering the contents totally inedible due to fluff and various hygiene restrictions .

gosh - we could never have tackled the hun in the desert with you lot  - I shudder - you brew tea in the tin after

see the series DINNER LADIES for reference to 'desert rats' etc

or would you tackle the hun with dessert !!!!

you men really are laughable moaning about not been able to open a tin of corned beef

if you managed the art of pulling the ring of a milk carton without milk going everywhere,corn dog tins should be manageable ,
on the subjext of milk cartons ive notice when I open them the white ring pull has alrteady been pulled havnt worked out if its the wife or someone doing them before they go on sale,

I would have nellie alongside me in the trenches dishing it out to the hun!!!

a real trouper  (see what I did there?)   

I expect they wouldn't shoot us if we were dishing out the dessert  ho ho ho   I have become a wit  (or something)

The ring-pull Corned Beef cans are fine and fit for purpose. The key cans are useless. You might as well forget the keys from the very start and just use a tin-opener.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-OxT56Euk8

corned beef song

alun the key ringed bully beef are for Men  not for pu$$ies

Actually, when you think about it, there is really no need for the tin, when you can buy it in packets!

I doubt that shelf life will be much, if any different after opening, and don't know about economics but can't be much different!

Ok clever clogs Verrit -after eating the bully  how does one brew tea in a plastic packet!!??

some people like all the fat,jelly you get in the cans, once saw a cookery show which showed the real mcoy cuts of corned beef in Ireland,looked very nice but have never tried it

as long as they don't mess with the lids on pot noodles we,ll be ok.

Agreed the key's a struggle. Once inside there's the second challenge of scraping off all that white fat without nausea quickly setting in.

when you are under fire it is things like this that takes your mind off sh!tting yourself

I've opened them with an ordinary tin opener.
The type you turn are the best.

Oh, and one thing, now this is very important if the tin is tapered. Make sure you open it from the thick end or you won't get the meat out.

For one's arteries it can be a good thing if one can't get the 'meat' out.

I am getting really annoyed injera - you are simply not taking this topic seriously

call out a locksmith

mrs mo like me to get the meat out   cough cough!!

likes       doh!!!!!!!!!!

Now come on folks, RLKingPunter has got a genuine beef about this.

Second only to Avocado.... for cutting / slashing  fingers chart...... go steady

going by this thread we are all doomed

the real problem then out of sheer frustration you try lifting whats left of the tin cutting your finger and the kitchen ends up like a scene from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  seconded still have the little scar on my finger 20 years later ...

Rip cans are traditional. It's part of the corned beef experience. Have stocked up for Brexit and will withstand a ten year siege. You can't say that for plastic when your fridge goes down in a power cut.

apprentices sarnie menu in late 70,s, 80,s
cheese and onion
corn dog and onion
haslett

don't see many of them in pret,

the corned beef tin opening saga is only equalled by trying the ring pull on a small tin of anchovies . all is well until the final little tug on the lid which jerks the tin to deposit all of the oil within onto your shirt which will never come out . i think they do it on purpose .

This will shred the argentinian economy - you may be sued or worse, Invaded!!!

Foinavon is correct, as tin openers will no longer in the event of No Deal.

*no longer work

How many would guess that the very best Corned Beef Hash recipe can be found on the Guardian Newspaper website.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2015/feb/05/how-to-cook...

I like the idea in that Guardian article of simmering raw potatoes in stock before frying them.

I'll try that next time I make Himmel und Erde - a fry-up of potatoes, onions and apples with duck livers.

I like my wife's version. The corned beef is fried with chopped onions, tomatoes and sweet peppers and seasoned with Bajan pepper sauce (the yellow one made from mustard and hot peppers). Served on a bed of freshly boiled rice.

I used to eat a lot of corn beef with slightly browned onions and loads of black pepper as filling for sandwiches - absolutely tasty and hearty. But I think corn beef has been unfairly given the cold shoulder by the present generation as food for the elderly, and not cool. What a shame really.

Corned beef hash....mash. corned beef (diced )  softy fried onions, chopped parsley.,,twist of pepper... shaped into potato cakes and shallow fried....served with baked beans and crusty bread.  Cowboy supper.....yeee haaaa

Bloody baked beans. I only have them when I'm snookered (not knowing or bothered what food to have) with toasted brown bread, nothing else.

I think I'll try fried corn beef with fried onions some time next week.

The blood free solution.

All you need is a metalworkers vice bolted to a workbench and a decent hacksaw.

Clamp the tin in the vice and simply saw the top off the tin with the hacksaw, the fat in the meat will lubricate the saw helping the operation no end.

It's only common sense when you think about it.

The Michael Caine solution.

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody lid off."

impossible - DONT fry the corned beef, remember it is already "cooked".  Start with the Guardian recipe below and then adapt from there if you want to. The key is to put the whole lot under the grill to brown.

Re baked beans, a whole tin with five rashers of smoked decent butchers streaky bacon (grilled and roughly chopped, not diced) on a couple of thick slices of toasted buttered sourdough (yes I know, poncy sourdough) is awesome. AND use one of those (Waitrose, Tesco and elsewhere) very salty Normandy butters on the bread. Makes all the difference.

not a single British soldier starved to death , that’s all you need to know !

Bully beef!

Talking of baked beans, I find the small tins of beans which are 3 for £1 in Poundland (£1.70 Sainsbury's) are a great snack eaten cold straight out of the tin.  About 150 calories.

Gosh you lot are rather common.

However, none of you could survive in the desert if you can't use the key!!!

think about it yah load of pu$$ies.

Why the hell isn't there vegetarian option?

Quorned beef?

can you imagine one of 'them' trying to quay a tin of quorned beef - we have meet eating pu$$ies on hear unable to do it !!!! what chance would their bee of  a veg having the mental capacity to tackle it

lfc said 'not a single British soldier starved to death , that’s all you need to know'

They threw all the tins at the Germans to incapacitate them then nicked their supplies.

Studies have shown vegetarians have a higher IQ than meet (!) eaters.

Grill the corn beef but not fry. I used to do that with an old fashion but efficient grill - the one with a lever for adjusting the naked flame; they were marvellous for grilling fish (butterfly) and pieces of chicken eg legs or thighs.

Studies have shown vegetarians have a higher IQ than meat eaters: Pure veggie propaganda, I think,...the gelatin from the bones is intelligence enhancing, I've been told.

On that theme I've been known to slice up a pork pie and grill it. Brings out the flavour.

There really ought to be a Chit-Chat Kitchen spot on one of the racing channels.

Each tea-time the gap between the afternoon and evening racing would feature one punter trying to prepare a wholesome and nutritious meal in the five-minute gap between the bumper in Ireland and the opener at Wolverhampton.

One evening we'd see a man scooping out a cold tin of Poundland baked beans, as he explains how laying that last winner at 1,000 was actually a good bet in the long term, as it definitely looked beat to him. And the next evening we could watch a punter phoning up for a takeaway while holding the broken key from a corned beef tin, then sticking his case fifty on Barcelona in the Champions League at 1.16 to pay for it.

Tonight I'm having "Pierog Ruski" and mushrooms.

What did the Polish ever do for us you ask?! Well for a start - brought some interesting news selections to supermarket isle.

Also, it makes you 23.2% better at plumbing. Proven fact, and I'm going to have a go at my sink later.

I'd have a careful look at the list of ingredients before consuming dumplings that are 'ruski'.

Keep an eye out for polonium and novichok for a start.

Polish dumplings are nothing like ours. They're more like pasties and are delicious!

Pierog Polski may well be delicious and pasty-like. But Pierog Ruski ...?

"Da! Ve visit de Tesco Salisbury for to see famous 340-gramme impossible-to-open tin corned beef. Also visit Vorld Foods aisle for to contaminate dumpling vid de novichok. Vhoops!"

best and easiest corned beef hash version (secret  glasgow receipe ) ...chopped up tinned corned beef chucked in a casserole / deep dish , then chopped up white cabbage ..cover it with campbell's double condensed celery soup. tin foil on , in oven for a good while ...when hot and soft remove and plonk some branston pickle on top . sublime .

are kulcher is being undermined by these kukhri programmes (yes I nose what a kukhri iz