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Before radiation gets you, any mathemations?
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The secret is to keep your hands protecting your important bits!
Van Allen's Belt was a great 70s prog rock band!
"Irradiated mutated gonads", a 15 minute baroque Hammond keyboard solo, got to be in anyone's top 10.
"Irradiated mutated gonads", a 15 minute baroque Hammond keyboard solo, got to be in anyone's top 10.
Well it cant be that bad as they did it with no protection whatsoever
the voyagers are travelling at 39 thousand miles per hour and it will take them 400,000 years to reach the oort cloud 
there is suppose to be a black hole a trillion times bigger than our sun in the milky way.
Armstrong and company went to the moon in a space ship controlled by a commadore 64 computer.
i think the moon is 250,000 miles away from the earth and it took apollo 3 days(72 hours)thats 3472 mph.
Armstrong and company went to the moon in a space ship controlled by a commadore 64 computer.
i think the moon is 250,000 miles away from the earth and it took apollo 3 days(72 hours)thats 3472 mph.
you dont need sat nav to get to the moon brassneck
you can see it from the very start, just point and go
you can see it from the very start, just point and go
armstrong went through it in about 5 to 6 hours ,its about 22 ,000 miles wide.but the minute they hit it cosmic ray albedo neutron decay would start to take place and radiation would hit them as the atoms release neutrons to turn protons into beta decay causing radiation ,so they got soaked in radiation for 5.5 hours.
i think the circled the moon a few times before they landed.
The moonmen Armstrong and co. would have experienced very little radiation in the film studio where the moon landings were shot.
Don't need to go thru the VA to get radiation. Just eat Ready Brek...
Hollywood has just released a new film of its 1969 original Moon Landing Blockbuster, I"m gonna give it a miss
Apparently the letter C written on one of the rocks is a hair on the camera lens
FARTHOUSE! 13 May 02:18
sorry about it but i just getting to learn the language ok- is the spelling alright for you. i am not only new to betfair but also new to a language. my uncle boris say i do very well.i am very good at darts and by complete accident i put in a f instead of a d as it next to on the keybord, so i am darthouse, please no farthouse. thank you from DARTHOUSE....!....!!..... !!!!!!!!!!!! by a way, what is fishing.i come along way in a short space of time... i am dutch, but pleas no questions about my homeland, but trust i from netherlands. my hero is raymond van barneveld.he is dutch also. sorry for bad word .i love you all.i will return when i get some money. goodbye.
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 14:02
no it is all seious as i say in the thread title.why you say help? it was a accident as i press d on a keybord instaed of a f as it is next to it on a keybord. when i see it i **** myself. i am a darting legend in netherland but now i move to birmingum in england and no no me, i a good fiend ofmy hero raymond van barnevald.he used to be a potsman in my homeland of netherland.he deliver all his letter in a van and i give him his knickname of 'van' and he now known as raymond 'van' barnevald.he like the knickname and it stuck. even his wife maria barnevald uses it now... she is maria 'van' barnevald a well.thankyou from DARTHOUSE!!!!, a close fiend of raymond 'van' barnevald
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 16:38
your right about it mate. when i was a tint boy at school in netherland my best fiend was a boy called marco basten.he was a very good at football, he score many great goals and we all new he woud make it big one day mate. his father was a grocer and use to pick him up every day from school in his grocers van so i give him the knickname 'van' and he like it and it stuck and now everybody no him as marco 'van' basten. even his wife maria basten like it use it and she now call herself maria 'van' basten. my uncle boris use to know a man called Vincent Gough. he was a very good at painting.one day he was painting the living room in our house and a ice cream van pulled up outside mate. vincent ran outside and bought me a ice cream. i said i wanted more than one ice cream so he bought me the whole van and i give him the knickname 'van' and he like it and it stuck and now everyone no him as vincent 'van' gough.even his wife maria gough like it and use it and she now call herself maria 'van' gough.
LarkyBear 14 May 19:18
Farthouse, are you very close to Dickk van ****? Or did you know him when he was Dickking Dykes
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 19:23
yes there **** alright. men are better. i remenmber one good player who was a man who not from netherland but use to have his holidays there as a boy. i became a fiend to him. his name was ian lendl.he love his tennis mate but hate his name ian and used to label himself i.lendl so nobody no it and only good fiends like me new his name was ian. anyway he became famous and won a big sum of money. he a millynaire yet he still not boast, he very humble. he not go clubbing people and no drive fast cars, no mate he drove around in a simple van. i decided to give him the knickname 'clay' because he liked playing on it, but he didn't like it, never used it and gave himself the knickname 'van' instead, liked it, used it and it stuck and from then on everyone called him I. VAN LENDL. his wife used it to by a way.
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 19:28
you have already guest about him mate. he dicked his dykes in a van. i caught him at it one night and give him the knickname 'van'. he didnt like it, didn't use it but it stuck and everyone call him **** 'van' ****'. you wont be surprised to know that his wife dont use it mate.
Don No1 14 May 19:54
What about ad-van-tage? Have any involvement in that?
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 20:27
no, thats just a word used in tennis as far as i no. it is when they are 40-40 and you have to get 2 points ahead to win a game and a player gets just the one point away.solomon said to me once what is duece in tennis. i said 40-40. he said it was 30-30 as well.and in a way he right becuase 30-30 is the same you need 2 clear points as with the advantage at duece.i did no a dutch lass once called ann taige. we made love in the back of a van and everytime i saw her after i thought of her in my head as anne 'van' taige but it wasent a knickname just somthing i thought to myself. by sheer coinsidents she was cousin to a dutch tennis star- the great betty van stove who was also a fiend of mine, a former miss holland at the 1975 miss world contest.she got elimated in the second round and decide to put all her efforts into becoming a tennis player instaed. she got to wimpelton final in 1977 and virginia wade beat her! you probably no her as betty stove but she was born betty van stove. when she was at school she was in the dutch junior hockey team. one day the van they was traveling inside it to a game it hit a lampost and she lost her front teeth. she got a fobier about vans from that day on and dropped the 'van' from her name.nice woman... nice teeth!
mattiem. 14 May 20:31
What about the South Pacific island of Vanuatu, Darthouse? Did you have any involvement in that?
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 20:40
yes mate untill i went there on my hollidays as a small boy it was known as plain 'uatu'.i am osbervant and notice that there were loads of vans parked on the beach and you can guess the rest
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 20:55
by a way- when i talk about dickk van **** and i say " it stuck", i mean it literally mate!
bIG sTEVEN o'cONNOR 14 May 21:05
lol, what about the historical figure Ivan the Terrible?
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 21:18
ivan the terrible??? mate, he died centuries before i was born and vans werent even around in them days- the wheel had yet to be invented mate!!? but by a great coincidents my great great great great great great great great grandmother used to go out clubbing with him.one day he clubbed her over the head and she died.everyone in holland thought it was a terrible thing to do mate and they knicknamed him ivan the terrible!!!!!!!!!!
Charlie 14 May 22:04
Mr Fart
Your advice is needed on the Soccer forum regarding Van Nistlerooy. Please help them they don't know a lot.
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 22:18
my son johann use to go to school with him mate.he was like pele and madonna that he only had a sirname like some footballers do. his parents never give him a cristian name but they knicknamed him 'horse'.he was expelled from school for mooning at some lassies in the school football team van. my son give him a brand new knickname 'rude van' nistelrooy and he liked it better, used it and it stuck!
cannyscot 14 May 22:19
Good stuff, Farthouse....and were you the owner of the Ian Balding trained horse called Vanderlin? Perhaps you know how it was so called?
Hedgehunter 14 May 22:25
Johann? Cruyff, I've heard it all now!
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 22:31
mate, you wont be surprpised to no that it was ogirinally called derlin.i never seen the horse you talk about but a fiend of mine told me that everytime it was on the gallops and it saw a van driving by ,it went chasing after it despite the jockeys attemts to restrain it.when i heard about it mate i rang the jockey up and tolled him he ought to give it the knickname 'van'. anyway he tried it, the horse liked it and it stuck!
maybenextime 14 May 23:32
How about Herst Van Rental.
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 01:40
herst van rental? yes mate this is also as dutch connections. i tolled you about the former miss holland betty stove who went on to get a tennis runner ups at wimpelton in the certainry year 1977. well mate, after her tennis run dry she become a weight lifter.she got a big bicepts mate, tricepts also.. but still a grorgeous looking woman .but all the body building was makin her ill it was.her papa he say " i worry about my beautyfull betty, her strength'll be the death of her!" anyway she got so strong she started to lift vans instaed of weights and her papa her got so worried mate that he stumbled through is words and he said: " i really worrying about my betty,her st van rength'll be the death of her!" by a coincidents i was in the room at the time he say it and it give me the idea of a van rental name to compeat with salford van hire. so i gets on the phone to some fiends looking to go into buisness, they liked it used it and it stuck!
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 01:48
he meant to say " her van strength'll ", but he said " her st-van-rength'll" by misstake.but he was upset at the time mate so you can undersand why he stumble his words.
cannyscot 15 May 07:05
More good stuff, Farthouse......but have you noticed that Clare Balding is connected to both Vanderlin and Van ****? Can you explain that?
gustav 15 May 08:55
What about Robin Van Persie, the young Arsenal wing man, how did he get his name?
Annoyed 15 May 11:07
Where did the Van Halen boys get their name from?
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 17:24
robin van persie is all a knickname mate. nobody no his real name but he lived in ajaz which is the capitol of netherland.as you may have guest he was infamous for stealin money from womens handbags. he robbed them in the street and made is getaway in a van. one day i see him in his van and and ring a dutch police and tell them the regitration number. they give chase in police vans and he get caught in a amsterdam side street.he given the knickname 'robin persie' becuase in holland they spell pursey as 'persie' you get me. i say he shoud be knicknamed 'van', so we in netherland get together and decide to stick the 'van' in the middle a well. he didnt like it, but we all used it and it stuck! now he play for arsenal he get paid a lot off money mate so he dont need to steal from handbags no more!!! but becuase of his knickname he cant hide from his bad past as a thief and now everybody no about him becuase in life you weep what you sow as they say mate and he will have to live with it!!!!
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 18:28
clare balding was one of the dykes that was reluctantly dicked in the back of the van.it was a 1st time experience for her and reportedly her last.it was thanks to the horse vanderlin formely known as derlin that she escaped. he was on the gallops and went chasing after the van she was being dicked in not realising it wasnt moving.becuase of this the horse went straight into the back of it and broke the back door off and clare excaped!!
cannyscot 15 May 18:33
More good stuff, Darthouse......anyway, regarding Van Morrison, it could be the case that he is a descendant of one of William of Orange's army who toured Ireland back in the 17th century. Could I be right?
Good luck with the darts competition, incidentally. Bully for you!! Look forward (as do many others) to your return to this thread!
layz 15 May 18:46
Ever meet a boxer named Eder Hollyfield Darthouse?
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 19:04
i not gone yet but just about to.van halen? yes i new them well but you maybe suprised to no that they have nothing to do with vans mate. they was also from ajax which is the capitol of netherland. they was ogrinally called van halen and the comets, one of the pioneers of dutch rock and role in the late 50s.there lead singer was micheal jackson. people think him an american but he ogrinally dutch from nethernetherland. he so dutch he call his ranch in america "netherland".there was 5 members of van halen and they was leter called the van halen five. then members keep leaving untill only one member left who is micheal jackson and he just call himself van halen.nobody no why mate, but no one can favom him out.he have a a lot of plastic surgery mate and he dont look dutch no more. he look more like a black man now!!
harry cripps 16 May 09:35
Quality .....NOW,I know why I(and a few others) organised Petitions with the Names of 800 Forumites on to get Befair to change their decision and save these fine Fora it was Odds-On(1/6 in fact) that they were going to ditch it,once we changed over to this Site a couple of years ago ............and on a darker note(sorry) the collective names on the Petitions(800+) contained 800+ support from The Soccer/Cricket/Darts/Chit-Chat Forums & others and the "Tennis" contribution in our darkest hour?.....NIL POINTS(as its the 50th Anniversary this Month of Eurovision )..........anywayz back to this....SUPERB
BillyBunnsLane 16 May 09:49
"..Van Halen & The Comets..."
Absolute classic PMSL..
FARTHOUSE! 16 May 19:34
eder holyfield? i think i no who you mean mate? he was a close fiend off mine and one of a sadist cases in boxing history.he was bought up in netherland by a very stricked family called Mister and Missus Field. but they didnt like him mate, they looked down on him. they didnt even give him a cristian name, just called him Master Field. and then they have a little girl and theres four off them - Mister Field, Missus Field, Master Field and Miss Field. they was a religous family and they didnt believe in having cristian names for no one. you no like you get potestunts which is opposite off catholics in some counties. well in holland they belonged to a religous group which was opposite to cristians - they called themselves the uncristians. there wasnt many off them but they took it serious mate and becuase of it they dont dish out cristian names and if they see a bible they grab it off you and set fire to it and they try and kill people what are cristians but only if they think no one will find out about it.apart from that they wasnt too bad.and they left potesunts and catholics alone becuase they wasnt opposite off them.i felt sorry for Master Field becuase he just wanted to get on with his life, but he was always getting into fights with cristians who picked on him becuase he was opposite off them. he wasnt really that uncristian and wished he had a cristian name but his parents woudent allow it- no mate! anyway i sugessed a knickname for him instaed. here are a list of some knicknames i sugessed to him: ROCKY FIELD , SUGAR RAY FIELD, DAVE BOY FIELD, SCRAPPER FIELD, SLUGGER FIELD, PUNCHER FIELD, HITMAN FIELD, CASSIUS FIELD, MOHAMMED FIELD, RAVINDER SINGH FIELD, JIMMY ARM FIELD, CHESTER FIELD, FRANK I. FIELD, DUSTY SPRING FIELD and many more, but he didnt like none off them and never used none of them mate. when is parents found out he was thinking off having a name in front of FIELD they went all funny about it and decided to punish him by throwing him out off the family home and forcing him to sleep in the outside verander every night untill he learned some respect.it was winter time and he got wet at night becuase there was holes in the roof mate and when it rained he got all wet through his pyjamers.when he tolled me all about it i sugessed a new knickname for him- VERANDER HOLEY FIELD and mate his face just lit up becuase he really liked it, used it and it stuck!! even his parents grew to like it to mate. as the years went by he became a real fighter and his manager shortened it to VERANDER HOLYFIELD. i think this is the geezer yous on about innit mate???
cannyscot 16 May 19:46
Vantastic, FH.....now what about Van Morrison....I'm sure you can enlighten us?
cannyscot 17 May 14:29
Hi Farthouse, what about doing a piece on someone with 2 vans i.e. Giovanni Van Bronkhurst?
Thankx in advance, mate.
FARTHOUSE! 17 May 17:27
funny you shoud mention GIOVANNI VAN BONKHORSE mate becuase he was my beast fiend when i was going up in my home town of ajax. back then he was known as simpley GIONI BONKHORSE.he good football always and no suprise to no one when he signed for arsenil.he have a long way to travel and lots off things to bring to engerland with him so he went down to the shops and bought a big van to put them all in. when he get to engerland he meet the arsenil manager mister arsenil wranker and he say to Gioni: " Thank yous for coming to Arsenil, have this van as a signing on gift mate!" so now he have 2 vans so i give him the knickname GIONI 2VANS BONKHORSE but he didnt like it and didnt use it, so i put one van in his first name and left the other in the middle so now he GIOVANNI VAN BONKHORSE and his face just lit up mate becuase he liked it, used it and it stuck and all other arsenil players they like it to mate! anyway last year mister wranker he say to him: " We dont need you here no more becuase you are **** so you can go mate... and give us the van back!!!" poor Van Bonkhorse he not happy becuase he want 2 vans as he drive one van and his wife Vanessa drive the other.yes mate she called Essa untill i give her knickname! but even though he only have one van he still call himself GIOVANNI VAN BONKHORSE becuase he like the knickname that i give him so much. He also rides stallions in his spare time but thats another story mate!!
FARTHOUSE! 19 May 18:19
van morrison? the man you on about i think i remember now but i getting a bit confused as it a long time ago and i do my best mate. ok, a man known as morrison come to netherland on is holidays in 60s with is couisin jim. he just plain morrison then as no one like him enough to call him by is cristian name and no one no it neither mate.at a time he had been in a band called the smurfs which had broke up. the problin with morrison was that he was a homersexual at a time when it was forbid and not acepted in society - the term used back then was 'one of them' and morrison was definiltey one of THEM!! in facked he so ashamed that he hid himself a way in is caravan mate.he lived on a caravan site you see. anyway when is fiend and couisin jim come to see him to write some new songs he woud all ways forget to close the caravan door behind him and morrison woud have to say " shut that door" but jim had a thing about DOORS and all ways left them open which meant that morrison woud have to light the fire to keep warm. one day jim and me tolled morrison not to be ashamed and tried to coach him to come out of the caravan and face the world. at the same time i tried to sugessed a knickname for him so that people woudent no he was one of THEM!! here are a list of some knicknames i sugessed to him in my efforts to keep it a secret: STRAIGHT MAN MORRISON, LADIES MAN MORRISON, MUSCLE MAN MORRISON, **** MAN MORRISON, **** MAN MORRISON, BREAST MAN MORRISON, ****** MAN MORRISON, BUTCH MAN MORRISON, BIG **** MAN MORRISON, I LOVE DOLLY MAN MORRISON, GIRLY MAN MORRISON, PRETTY BOY MORRISON, WOMEN ARE GREAT MAN MORRISON and many more, but he didnt like none off them mate and never used none off them - not one off them. anyway time past and he went back to live in ireland but 2 years later a penpal from ireland i had never seen before come to ajax to see me with hs mama and papa and i didnt no a name for any off them mate. the car they was driving a long in crashed and they had to walk the rest off the way to my house. before they went back the papa say he want to by a van to drive home in, but the mama say she wanted a morris minor.i sugessed that they make a vehicle thats half van and half morris minor so the papa he billed one with his own bear hands mate. when it his bilt i sugessed a knickmame for him - VAN MORRIS, and i knickname is son VAN MORRIS SON. the papa he hate is knickname, but the son is chubby little face it just lit up becuase he really liked is knickname so much that he used it and it stuck and every one call him by it from that day on.
FARTHOUSE! 23 May 19:45
two off you now aks about denise van outen.i dont really want to say becuase it shrowded in contervercy but i feel you ought to no a truth mate so i going to tell it as it is- ok. it is one off the sadist off all storys so lissun good and keeps it to yerself thankyou.denise van outen was born a male whoose called DENIS VAN OUTEN. he was abandon at childood by is parents and throne in a bullrushes mate.he come out off it and itchiked to ajax in netherland for is summer holidays. he just a toddler alike me, and me and him become mates mate.but he not alike the football, more the doll so i sugessed the sex change whitch was a big thing in them days mate. anyway he do as i sugessed and he have the chop and he then look alike a cute little girl and all the little ajax boys they chase after him to play the docker and nurses apart from me - i not chase becuase i no he the flippin docker mate and i sooner not go there - no mate! anyway she go back home and the years past by and he get a lot older and then one day he come back to ajax to see me is old fiend . she still have same mans name he was born with and he starting to get very worried in case people they find out about is passed and start to suspect he was born a man.he no i the only one who no is secret and as herd i am good at knicknames ( it just come easy to me it does!) and he get down and beg me for help.i tell her not to worry as is secret its safe with me and i no black male and i do me best to give her a name to insure that it stay the secret and to divert nosy people away from a facked that she is a flipping bloke who have the lamb chop and shove a oranges up is flippin jumper.here are a list of the names and knicknames i sugessed so no one ever suspect her was born a man: DENIS " BORN A WOMAN" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " ALL WOMAN" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " NO PENIS" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " THE ******" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " BIG ****" VAN OUTEN, MRS DENNIS, DENIS " PERIOD PERSON" VAN OUTEN and many more but he didnt like none off them mate and never used none off them- not flippin one off them. nether the less we stay good fiends and keeps in touch then 2 years later denis he come to ajax again and tell me he just brought the pink mini skirt along the way.i aks her how short it is and he say:"It is above the knees!" so in a instant i think off another new knickname for her - THE KNEES VAN OUTEN and this time she bloody love it mate and she use it and it just stuck.when she become famous she shorten it to DENISE VAN OUTEN becuse denise all so happen to be a womans name. i think this is the geezer yous on about innit mate!
sorry about it but i just getting to learn the language ok- is the spelling alright for you. i am not only new to betfair but also new to a language. my uncle boris say i do very well.i am very good at darts and by complete accident i put in a f instead of a d as it next to on the keybord, so i am darthouse, please no farthouse. thank you from DARTHOUSE....!....!!..... !!!!!!!!!!!! by a way, what is fishing.i come along way in a short space of time... i am dutch, but pleas no questions about my homeland, but trust i from netherlands. my hero is raymond van barneveld.he is dutch also. sorry for bad word .i love you all.i will return when i get some money. goodbye.
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 14:02
no it is all seious as i say in the thread title.why you say help? it was a accident as i press d on a keybord instaed of a f as it is next to it on a keybord. when i see it i **** myself. i am a darting legend in netherland but now i move to birmingum in england and no no me, i a good fiend ofmy hero raymond van barnevald.he used to be a potsman in my homeland of netherland.he deliver all his letter in a van and i give him his knickname of 'van' and he now known as raymond 'van' barnevald.he like the knickname and it stuck. even his wife maria barnevald uses it now... she is maria 'van' barnevald a well.thankyou from DARTHOUSE!!!!, a close fiend of raymond 'van' barnevald
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 16:38
your right about it mate. when i was a tint boy at school in netherland my best fiend was a boy called marco basten.he was a very good at football, he score many great goals and we all new he woud make it big one day mate. his father was a grocer and use to pick him up every day from school in his grocers van so i give him the knickname 'van' and he like it and it stuck and now everybody no him as marco 'van' basten. even his wife maria basten like it use it and she now call herself maria 'van' basten. my uncle boris use to know a man called Vincent Gough. he was a very good at painting.one day he was painting the living room in our house and a ice cream van pulled up outside mate. vincent ran outside and bought me a ice cream. i said i wanted more than one ice cream so he bought me the whole van and i give him the knickname 'van' and he like it and it stuck and now everyone no him as vincent 'van' gough.even his wife maria gough like it and use it and she now call herself maria 'van' gough.
LarkyBear 14 May 19:18
Farthouse, are you very close to Dickk van ****? Or did you know him when he was Dickking Dykes
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 19:23
yes there **** alright. men are better. i remenmber one good player who was a man who not from netherland but use to have his holidays there as a boy. i became a fiend to him. his name was ian lendl.he love his tennis mate but hate his name ian and used to label himself i.lendl so nobody no it and only good fiends like me new his name was ian. anyway he became famous and won a big sum of money. he a millynaire yet he still not boast, he very humble. he not go clubbing people and no drive fast cars, no mate he drove around in a simple van. i decided to give him the knickname 'clay' because he liked playing on it, but he didn't like it, never used it and gave himself the knickname 'van' instead, liked it, used it and it stuck and from then on everyone called him I. VAN LENDL. his wife used it to by a way.
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 19:28
you have already guest about him mate. he dicked his dykes in a van. i caught him at it one night and give him the knickname 'van'. he didnt like it, didn't use it but it stuck and everyone call him **** 'van' ****'. you wont be surprised to know that his wife dont use it mate.
Don No1 14 May 19:54
What about ad-van-tage? Have any involvement in that?
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 20:27
no, thats just a word used in tennis as far as i no. it is when they are 40-40 and you have to get 2 points ahead to win a game and a player gets just the one point away.solomon said to me once what is duece in tennis. i said 40-40. he said it was 30-30 as well.and in a way he right becuase 30-30 is the same you need 2 clear points as with the advantage at duece.i did no a dutch lass once called ann taige. we made love in the back of a van and everytime i saw her after i thought of her in my head as anne 'van' taige but it wasent a knickname just somthing i thought to myself. by sheer coinsidents she was cousin to a dutch tennis star- the great betty van stove who was also a fiend of mine, a former miss holland at the 1975 miss world contest.she got elimated in the second round and decide to put all her efforts into becoming a tennis player instaed. she got to wimpelton final in 1977 and virginia wade beat her! you probably no her as betty stove but she was born betty van stove. when she was at school she was in the dutch junior hockey team. one day the van they was traveling inside it to a game it hit a lampost and she lost her front teeth. she got a fobier about vans from that day on and dropped the 'van' from her name.nice woman... nice teeth!
mattiem. 14 May 20:31
What about the South Pacific island of Vanuatu, Darthouse? Did you have any involvement in that?
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 20:40
yes mate untill i went there on my hollidays as a small boy it was known as plain 'uatu'.i am osbervant and notice that there were loads of vans parked on the beach and you can guess the rest
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 20:55
by a way- when i talk about dickk van **** and i say " it stuck", i mean it literally mate!
bIG sTEVEN o'cONNOR 14 May 21:05
lol, what about the historical figure Ivan the Terrible?
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 21:18
ivan the terrible??? mate, he died centuries before i was born and vans werent even around in them days- the wheel had yet to be invented mate!!? but by a great coincidents my great great great great great great great great grandmother used to go out clubbing with him.one day he clubbed her over the head and she died.everyone in holland thought it was a terrible thing to do mate and they knicknamed him ivan the terrible!!!!!!!!!!
Charlie 14 May 22:04
Mr Fart
Your advice is needed on the Soccer forum regarding Van Nistlerooy. Please help them they don't know a lot.
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 22:18
my son johann use to go to school with him mate.he was like pele and madonna that he only had a sirname like some footballers do. his parents never give him a cristian name but they knicknamed him 'horse'.he was expelled from school for mooning at some lassies in the school football team van. my son give him a brand new knickname 'rude van' nistelrooy and he liked it better, used it and it stuck!
cannyscot 14 May 22:19
Good stuff, Farthouse....and were you the owner of the Ian Balding trained horse called Vanderlin? Perhaps you know how it was so called?
Hedgehunter 14 May 22:25
Johann? Cruyff, I've heard it all now!
FARTHOUSE! 14 May 22:31
mate, you wont be surprpised to no that it was ogirinally called derlin.i never seen the horse you talk about but a fiend of mine told me that everytime it was on the gallops and it saw a van driving by ,it went chasing after it despite the jockeys attemts to restrain it.when i heard about it mate i rang the jockey up and tolled him he ought to give it the knickname 'van'. anyway he tried it, the horse liked it and it stuck!
maybenextime 14 May 23:32
How about Herst Van Rental.
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 01:40
herst van rental? yes mate this is also as dutch connections. i tolled you about the former miss holland betty stove who went on to get a tennis runner ups at wimpelton in the certainry year 1977. well mate, after her tennis run dry she become a weight lifter.she got a big bicepts mate, tricepts also.. but still a grorgeous looking woman .but all the body building was makin her ill it was.her papa he say " i worry about my beautyfull betty, her strength'll be the death of her!" anyway she got so strong she started to lift vans instaed of weights and her papa her got so worried mate that he stumbled through is words and he said: " i really worrying about my betty,her st van rength'll be the death of her!" by a coincidents i was in the room at the time he say it and it give me the idea of a van rental name to compeat with salford van hire. so i gets on the phone to some fiends looking to go into buisness, they liked it used it and it stuck!
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 01:48
he meant to say " her van strength'll ", but he said " her st-van-rength'll" by misstake.but he was upset at the time mate so you can undersand why he stumble his words.
cannyscot 15 May 07:05
More good stuff, Farthouse......but have you noticed that Clare Balding is connected to both Vanderlin and Van ****? Can you explain that?
gustav 15 May 08:55
What about Robin Van Persie, the young Arsenal wing man, how did he get his name?
Annoyed 15 May 11:07
Where did the Van Halen boys get their name from?
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 17:24
robin van persie is all a knickname mate. nobody no his real name but he lived in ajaz which is the capitol of netherland.as you may have guest he was infamous for stealin money from womens handbags. he robbed them in the street and made is getaway in a van. one day i see him in his van and and ring a dutch police and tell them the regitration number. they give chase in police vans and he get caught in a amsterdam side street.he given the knickname 'robin persie' becuase in holland they spell pursey as 'persie' you get me. i say he shoud be knicknamed 'van', so we in netherland get together and decide to stick the 'van' in the middle a well. he didnt like it, but we all used it and it stuck! now he play for arsenal he get paid a lot off money mate so he dont need to steal from handbags no more!!! but becuase of his knickname he cant hide from his bad past as a thief and now everybody no about him becuase in life you weep what you sow as they say mate and he will have to live with it!!!!
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 18:28
clare balding was one of the dykes that was reluctantly dicked in the back of the van.it was a 1st time experience for her and reportedly her last.it was thanks to the horse vanderlin formely known as derlin that she escaped. he was on the gallops and went chasing after the van she was being dicked in not realising it wasnt moving.becuase of this the horse went straight into the back of it and broke the back door off and clare excaped!!
cannyscot 15 May 18:33
More good stuff, Darthouse......anyway, regarding Van Morrison, it could be the case that he is a descendant of one of William of Orange's army who toured Ireland back in the 17th century. Could I be right?
Good luck with the darts competition, incidentally. Bully for you!! Look forward (as do many others) to your return to this thread!
layz 15 May 18:46
Ever meet a boxer named Eder Hollyfield Darthouse?
FARTHOUSE! 15 May 19:04
i not gone yet but just about to.van halen? yes i new them well but you maybe suprised to no that they have nothing to do with vans mate. they was also from ajax which is the capitol of netherland. they was ogrinally called van halen and the comets, one of the pioneers of dutch rock and role in the late 50s.there lead singer was micheal jackson. people think him an american but he ogrinally dutch from nethernetherland. he so dutch he call his ranch in america "netherland".there was 5 members of van halen and they was leter called the van halen five. then members keep leaving untill only one member left who is micheal jackson and he just call himself van halen.nobody no why mate, but no one can favom him out.he have a a lot of plastic surgery mate and he dont look dutch no more. he look more like a black man now!!
harry cripps 16 May 09:35
Quality .....NOW,I know why I(and a few others) organised Petitions with the Names of 800 Forumites on to get Befair to change their decision and save these fine Fora it was Odds-On(1/6 in fact) that they were going to ditch it,once we changed over to this Site a couple of years ago ............and on a darker note(sorry) the collective names on the Petitions(800+) contained 800+ support from The Soccer/Cricket/Darts/Chit-Chat Forums & others and the "Tennis" contribution in our darkest hour?.....NIL POINTS(as its the 50th Anniversary this Month of Eurovision )..........anywayz back to this....SUPERB
BillyBunnsLane 16 May 09:49
"..Van Halen & The Comets..."
Absolute classic PMSL..
FARTHOUSE! 16 May 19:34
eder holyfield? i think i no who you mean mate? he was a close fiend off mine and one of a sadist cases in boxing history.he was bought up in netherland by a very stricked family called Mister and Missus Field. but they didnt like him mate, they looked down on him. they didnt even give him a cristian name, just called him Master Field. and then they have a little girl and theres four off them - Mister Field, Missus Field, Master Field and Miss Field. they was a religous family and they didnt believe in having cristian names for no one. you no like you get potestunts which is opposite off catholics in some counties. well in holland they belonged to a religous group which was opposite to cristians - they called themselves the uncristians. there wasnt many off them but they took it serious mate and becuase of it they dont dish out cristian names and if they see a bible they grab it off you and set fire to it and they try and kill people what are cristians but only if they think no one will find out about it.apart from that they wasnt too bad.and they left potesunts and catholics alone becuase they wasnt opposite off them.i felt sorry for Master Field becuase he just wanted to get on with his life, but he was always getting into fights with cristians who picked on him becuase he was opposite off them. he wasnt really that uncristian and wished he had a cristian name but his parents woudent allow it- no mate! anyway i sugessed a knickname for him instaed. here are a list of some knicknames i sugessed to him: ROCKY FIELD , SUGAR RAY FIELD, DAVE BOY FIELD, SCRAPPER FIELD, SLUGGER FIELD, PUNCHER FIELD, HITMAN FIELD, CASSIUS FIELD, MOHAMMED FIELD, RAVINDER SINGH FIELD, JIMMY ARM FIELD, CHESTER FIELD, FRANK I. FIELD, DUSTY SPRING FIELD and many more, but he didnt like none off them and never used none of them mate. when is parents found out he was thinking off having a name in front of FIELD they went all funny about it and decided to punish him by throwing him out off the family home and forcing him to sleep in the outside verander every night untill he learned some respect.it was winter time and he got wet at night becuase there was holes in the roof mate and when it rained he got all wet through his pyjamers.when he tolled me all about it i sugessed a new knickname for him- VERANDER HOLEY FIELD and mate his face just lit up becuase he really liked it, used it and it stuck!! even his parents grew to like it to mate. as the years went by he became a real fighter and his manager shortened it to VERANDER HOLYFIELD. i think this is the geezer yous on about innit mate???
cannyscot 16 May 19:46
Vantastic, FH.....now what about Van Morrison....I'm sure you can enlighten us?
cannyscot 17 May 14:29
Hi Farthouse, what about doing a piece on someone with 2 vans i.e. Giovanni Van Bronkhurst?
Thankx in advance, mate.
FARTHOUSE! 17 May 17:27
funny you shoud mention GIOVANNI VAN BONKHORSE mate becuase he was my beast fiend when i was going up in my home town of ajax. back then he was known as simpley GIONI BONKHORSE.he good football always and no suprise to no one when he signed for arsenil.he have a long way to travel and lots off things to bring to engerland with him so he went down to the shops and bought a big van to put them all in. when he get to engerland he meet the arsenil manager mister arsenil wranker and he say to Gioni: " Thank yous for coming to Arsenil, have this van as a signing on gift mate!" so now he have 2 vans so i give him the knickname GIONI 2VANS BONKHORSE but he didnt like it and didnt use it, so i put one van in his first name and left the other in the middle so now he GIOVANNI VAN BONKHORSE and his face just lit up mate becuase he liked it, used it and it stuck and all other arsenil players they like it to mate! anyway last year mister wranker he say to him: " We dont need you here no more becuase you are **** so you can go mate... and give us the van back!!!" poor Van Bonkhorse he not happy becuase he want 2 vans as he drive one van and his wife Vanessa drive the other.yes mate she called Essa untill i give her knickname! but even though he only have one van he still call himself GIOVANNI VAN BONKHORSE becuase he like the knickname that i give him so much. He also rides stallions in his spare time but thats another story mate!!
FARTHOUSE! 19 May 18:19
van morrison? the man you on about i think i remember now but i getting a bit confused as it a long time ago and i do my best mate. ok, a man known as morrison come to netherland on is holidays in 60s with is couisin jim. he just plain morrison then as no one like him enough to call him by is cristian name and no one no it neither mate.at a time he had been in a band called the smurfs which had broke up. the problin with morrison was that he was a homersexual at a time when it was forbid and not acepted in society - the term used back then was 'one of them' and morrison was definiltey one of THEM!! in facked he so ashamed that he hid himself a way in is caravan mate.he lived on a caravan site you see. anyway when is fiend and couisin jim come to see him to write some new songs he woud all ways forget to close the caravan door behind him and morrison woud have to say " shut that door" but jim had a thing about DOORS and all ways left them open which meant that morrison woud have to light the fire to keep warm. one day jim and me tolled morrison not to be ashamed and tried to coach him to come out of the caravan and face the world. at the same time i tried to sugessed a knickname for him so that people woudent no he was one of THEM!! here are a list of some knicknames i sugessed to him in my efforts to keep it a secret: STRAIGHT MAN MORRISON, LADIES MAN MORRISON, MUSCLE MAN MORRISON, **** MAN MORRISON, **** MAN MORRISON, BREAST MAN MORRISON, ****** MAN MORRISON, BUTCH MAN MORRISON, BIG **** MAN MORRISON, I LOVE DOLLY MAN MORRISON, GIRLY MAN MORRISON, PRETTY BOY MORRISON, WOMEN ARE GREAT MAN MORRISON and many more, but he didnt like none off them mate and never used none off them - not one off them. anyway time past and he went back to live in ireland but 2 years later a penpal from ireland i had never seen before come to ajax to see me with hs mama and papa and i didnt no a name for any off them mate. the car they was driving a long in crashed and they had to walk the rest off the way to my house. before they went back the papa say he want to by a van to drive home in, but the mama say she wanted a morris minor.i sugessed that they make a vehicle thats half van and half morris minor so the papa he billed one with his own bear hands mate. when it his bilt i sugessed a knickmame for him - VAN MORRIS, and i knickname is son VAN MORRIS SON. the papa he hate is knickname, but the son is chubby little face it just lit up becuase he really liked is knickname so much that he used it and it stuck and every one call him by it from that day on.
FARTHOUSE! 23 May 19:45
two off you now aks about denise van outen.i dont really want to say becuase it shrowded in contervercy but i feel you ought to no a truth mate so i going to tell it as it is- ok. it is one off the sadist off all storys so lissun good and keeps it to yerself thankyou.denise van outen was born a male whoose called DENIS VAN OUTEN. he was abandon at childood by is parents and throne in a bullrushes mate.he come out off it and itchiked to ajax in netherland for is summer holidays. he just a toddler alike me, and me and him become mates mate.but he not alike the football, more the doll so i sugessed the sex change whitch was a big thing in them days mate. anyway he do as i sugessed and he have the chop and he then look alike a cute little girl and all the little ajax boys they chase after him to play the docker and nurses apart from me - i not chase becuase i no he the flippin docker mate and i sooner not go there - no mate! anyway she go back home and the years past by and he get a lot older and then one day he come back to ajax to see me is old fiend . she still have same mans name he was born with and he starting to get very worried in case people they find out about is passed and start to suspect he was born a man.he no i the only one who no is secret and as herd i am good at knicknames ( it just come easy to me it does!) and he get down and beg me for help.i tell her not to worry as is secret its safe with me and i no black male and i do me best to give her a name to insure that it stay the secret and to divert nosy people away from a facked that she is a flipping bloke who have the lamb chop and shove a oranges up is flippin jumper.here are a list of the names and knicknames i sugessed so no one ever suspect her was born a man: DENIS " BORN A WOMAN" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " ALL WOMAN" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " NO PENIS" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " THE ******" VAN OUTEN, DENIS " BIG ****" VAN OUTEN, MRS DENNIS, DENIS " PERIOD PERSON" VAN OUTEN and many more but he didnt like none off them mate and never used none off them- not flippin one off them. nether the less we stay good fiends and keeps in touch then 2 years later denis he come to ajax again and tell me he just brought the pink mini skirt along the way.i aks her how short it is and he say:"It is above the knees!" so in a instant i think off another new knickname for her - THE KNEES VAN OUTEN and this time she bloody love it mate and she use it and it just stuck.when she become famous she shorten it to DENISE VAN OUTEN becuse denise all so happen to be a womans name. i think this is the geezer yous on about innit mate!
The Transit van would surely have played a major role in Mr van Outen's decision to transit to Ms van Outen.
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