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the parkie
12 Aug 18 16:26
Date Joined: 18 Jun 02
| Topic/replies: 351 | Blogger: the parkie's blog
And if so, did you get it back?
Pause Switch to Standard View Have You Ever Inserted A Walnut Into...
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Report STUDYFORM August 12, 2018 5:46 PM BST
No, but I got one out.

It is yours?
Report the parkie August 12, 2018 6:04 PM BST
Could be, was it shrivelled and wrinkled?
Report sofiakenny August 13, 2018 8:51 PM BST
does a creme egg count?
Report flushgordon1 August 13, 2018 8:54 PM BST
Not recently.
Report DEFCON [1] August 13, 2018 10:42 PM BST
Back in the day this was certainly done by manual insertion.

But if you read Tesco's line on Nut Roasts you'll find that the process now is fully automated.

It is estimated that 10.000 sick and depraved Romanians who were on minimum wage have returned to their homeland because of the EU's pervert ruling.

It's also said the ALDI's wonkey veg and Macaque pummelling (however consensual) is also under review.

©Reuters 2018
Report brassneck August 13, 2018 11:03 PM BST
the romanians have gone home because there ARE 70 million turks waiting to go to  the UK when the UK leave the EU.
Report the parkie August 14, 2018 9:47 AM BST
What you gain via automation, you lose in sensitivity and tenderness.
Report kenny mann August 14, 2018 2:22 PM BST
Thread started by The parkie by Rob Dylan. Laugh

the parkie 01 Mar 20:02

Can Eating Prawns Give You An Erection?

I've just eaten one and have found that I have developed a semi.


the parkie 13 Jun 12:10

Where Is The Most Satisfying Place You've Urinated?

A couple of years ago I was in one of those pubs that perform my number one pet hate - return your change to you on a little tray in order to induce a tip. I had finally had enough of this and took my change, urinated in the tray and pushed it back. The look on the barmaid's face was a picture.


Golden Showers

the parkie 25 Sep 16:25
Has anyone ever partaken in this?


Are You **sexual?

the parkie 27 May 15:42
Be honest.


the parkie 09 Jun 16:48

Anyone want a golden shower?

it's a beautiful act, but you must come and do it when his wife's not around. The dog is optional.


the parkie 09 Jun 15:58

Walrus Bumming

I am new to this exciting and difficult sport, but am enjoying it no end.

Any help, tips or advice greatfully received. Thanks.


Golden Showers

the parkie 28 May 16:36
After a tedious work meeting earlier today I placed various newspaper cut outs of The Cheeky Girls around the toilet bowl and urinated on them whilst listening to my iPod and drinking a smuggled-in beer.

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun.


Country Walks At Night

the parkie 13 Oct 13:30
I've decided that I am going to start going for country walks at night, taking a large torch with me.

Often difficult to go during the day what with going to work and having a toddler at home so often my only free time is after she has gone to bed.

How do I convince those that I run into that I am not a wierdo or dogger?


Shout At A Rabbit

the parkie 29 Nov 16:56
is this as therapeutic as it is currently being suggested in the press?


the parkie 05 Jun 13:34

**sexuality In Animals
Came out on to my back patio this morning to discover two male frogs indulging in what can only be dexcribed as "the big frog giving the little frog one up the dirtbox".

Mistaken identity or do I have a **sexual frog problem on my hands?

Sensible advice only please.


the parkie 07 May 15:49

Unusual Pets
My partner's brother has a pet apple crumble.

Can anyone beat this?


the parkie 27 May 16:37

Masturbation In The Workplace
Is this a sackable offence? Probably more so if done at the desk.


the parkie 04 Jun 16:03

Problem with jerking off
Someone always comes round the corner on their tractor to spoil your fun.


Sex Cheese Update

the parkie 03 Mar 14:23
Following on from a post a few weeks ago in which I was to fashion a pair of bre asts from two large edam cheeses for my own amusement due to my liking for both cheese and ti ts..

I have now fashioned a pretend vag from two thick cut slices of cheddar and some piccalili. I have even put a splodge of branston's pickle to the south if I fancy some 'back door' action.

Things are really going well in my sex / cheese world.


Have You Ever Inserted A Walnut Into A Sheep?

the parkie 06 Mar 14:20
Happens all the time in Cirencester apparently.


If You Try The Best You Can

the parkie 20 Mar 23:47
The best you can is good enough.


Maximum Age Limit

the parkie 11 Feb 14:24
I think that old people should be allowed to get to 75 and then be boiled down for glue.



the parkie 11 Feb 14:09
Anyone ever stuck their bellend through one of these? What happened?


Have You Ever Humiliated An Animal At The Zoo

the parkie 25 Sep 13:45
At Colchester zoo recently I looked in on the amazing Orang Utan. I knocked on the window and he oblingly shuffled over to the glass to meet me. As soon as he got to the glass I blew a raspberry and ran away screaming and laughing.
Report ufcdan August 14, 2018 7:22 PM BST
I pushed the walnut in about seven inches deeper Excited
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