Depression....an awful thing to experience.

the wife got made redundant a few months ago , she has  just had a womans op that will have her bed ridden for a few weeks and will take a few months to get back to full fitness.
she said on Thursday what else can go wrong. her mother had a heart attack yesterday and is now in corany care.
Ronnie.

sorry to hear that Ronnie, all the best to you and your mrs and her mum.

People will laugh when i say this but it is true. Things started going drastically downhill for me when i married my girlfriend of 13 years 3 years ago.

Mrs T has been on anti depressants for 20 years but from the outside is a confident and successful business woman ,sounds crazy but needs constant reassurance, probably the case with most females if we believe the media. Just grit your teeth and do what you have to do to get by and the sun will shine now and then.

I blame Greville Starkey!

cheers Delta, made me smile.

tbf   - lots blamed Greville

Pat got it right though

DBTB when you say a lot of bad luck the last few years do you mean gambling luck.

That is a contributing factor but work and relationship plus got my brothers mate in to do work in house and he fecked it up. Lost my wedding ring, lost a work contract, got another job now but am ashamed to say it am being harrassed and bullied by the **** im working with so got another job starting September. The harrassment and bullying has knocked me for 6, never thought in a million years id be a victim of that.

Some people do get a kicking - there is no doubt.  I think there some who sail through like and iron clad with shells bouncing off them - I am not sure about that type.  They are either so insensitive and unfeeling or are complet b.......

There are others who simply don't give a toss - you know the happy go lucky types - have a few beers each night - have a bit of a larf and toddle off to work the next day.

Then the worriers.

Then the vulnerable and often caring types who get trod on.

It is a nasty world out there.

When you get shipwrecked - try to cling on to the wreckage and get back ashore as soon as you can.

Friends are  good to have.

Workplace bullying is a funny thing, until you've experienced it, you might think it's a joke and adults wouldn't be affected by it.
One of those things, until you've experienced it, don't belittle others who have.
I had it a little years ago, the problem is it just grinds you down as you know each day becomes worse than it should be. Basically one c--- and a lesser c---, but the place was an awful negative mess anyway. It was the sort of place where people like that would thrive, I left. Never worked in a place like that before or since, so there is hope! :)

how about watching some comedy dancing ?  ...  laughter is always the best medicine

that is comedy Dancing and not comedy dancing   although you could try the dancing i suppose

focus on the positives in your life

try to negate all the negative inputs

as for the workplace bullies

tell em FECK OFF U CaNT

might get in troble but worth it

all the best

"there is no doubt.  I think there some who sail through like and iron clad with shells bouncing off them - I am not sure about that type.  They are either so insensitive and unfeeling or are complet b.......

15 Years ago I found My mother Dead tried to Resus her Etc ,No good ,Now that was

Bad, in the 15 years Since, I cannot even count the amount of Friends and Family I have lost , its not an Iron Shell,

You hit desperate Lows , somehow you adapt ,fook knows how ,A lot of the people I will see no more ,were  younger than me

Im only 58 , I was Diagnosed with the Big C myself 18 month back but seem to be winning that battle for some Unknown reason,

But that can turn on a sixpence  .I wont be going into details of my Lost Friends and Family they are Gone and that's it ,

One chap was 38 left 4 kids

I

could Find myself in an Extremely dark place ,and at Times have been there ,What good does it do being there ?

We probably have passed/met  Thousands of People Over the years who are dealing with the same shyte or Worse ,Its Life Its

Shyte ,but to be honest I was never promised a Rose garden

If Depression is Feeling Hollow ,Empty , Zombie like  , I have been there and without my Partner would be fully Entrenched.

Anyone suffering, it is only you can get yourself out of it ,And remember as you walk down the street you are not the only

one  who is in that Dark place, you will have probably passed a few people each day, who are frequent visitors .

It wont solve everything, but laughing and exercise would help at least alleviate some suffering, both release endorphins as does talking. Depressed people hide it so well because they tend to isolate themselves and say little. It's a bit like confidence, which can go quickly and come back slowly, depression can come on quickly and goes away slowly so hanging in there may be simplistic advice but is good advice. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Modern life doesn't help and is a big factor in the increased rate, we're surrounded by relentless, non stop negativity with 24 hours news, the daily rat race encourages us to eat bad food for pick me ups and social media blurs people's perceptions of reality. Something I've never used and never would, this in particular is the scourge of today's society, think it's very unhealthy to follow other people's lives, what they're saying, what they're doing, what they're thinking, where they're going, who they're seeing, people would be happier in the long run just concentrating on themselves and spending less time on computers, as mammals we're not born to be sedentary, we need to be outside in the fresh air with human interaction


I think the scientific explanation regarding depression centres around stress hormones such as cortisol, people suffering from depression have a lower tolerance of stress/higher concentration of stress hormones but most cases of severe depression are not chemically related, psychotherapy is a much more useful tool in dealing with the issue rather than swallowing a lorry load of over the counter pills. Going straight to the root and learning what triggers your depression and how to deal with it is a long term solution, tablets are always short termism choices the multi national drug companies hope you take.

Good luck.

darren_discombobulates_sports thats probably the best post I’ve ever read on here.

Is there anything like an online Samaratians service available? So you could have a conservative through a keypad rather than the phone or face to face?

I've never really suffered with depression, but there have been a few times where I've wondered where the chuff I go from here.  Without doubt, exercise helps, per Darren's post above.  Just go out on a bike, get the heart pumping, feel the wind in your face, take in the sights.  The first couple of rides, you might find it quite difficult (especially if you're riding a mountain bike), but once you get your heart and lungs used to what you're asking them to do (and are thus no longer needing to remember to breathe!), you almost go off into a trance and your subconscious mind starts to do all sorts of positive things (I find, anyway).  It's curiously addictive, too.

I had a bit of a double whammy back in 2001. A long time ago I know but some things you never truly get over you just go through trying to cope. I’m pretty sure i’d have been on the streets if it hadn’t been for my girlfriend. Although i’m not very active anymore on here, did the dogs for years and did plenty on chitchat too early on, this place also helped to save me.
Can’t really give any advice because I think we are all different but as for cycling that can be a bit stressful cos the road surfaces are shocking and the traffic can be a real pain. If you want exercise try a 10 mile walk in the Lake District or your nearest national park.
Best of luck to all fellow sufferers.

Something  that can help if you can find the time is to try and learn a foreign language , it makes you concentrate on reading and listening carefully and can give your brain respite for that short time , or longer if you are lucky

I like to listen to France 24 news and current affairs etc ...news doesn’t seem so terrible in a foreign language : )
I think because you will know what is being talked about it makes it easier to follow and pick up the language  , books also of course , it’s more the attempt to understand the language and it’s quite a bit easier than trying to follow what is said in a film

And as racingcert says walking can help physically and mentally , it doesn’t have to be anywhere particularly beautiful as well

There's a lot of good sense in these comments.

darren_discom....especially.
But I DO think that 71 may have hit the nail on the head.
Just about the only time that I'm not feeling down is when I'm at work.
Why? Because my work is so demanding. I have to apply myself, totally, to what I am doing.
Mentally, it really IS another world.

And no, I DON'T like Greville Starkey, or K. Fallon, for similar reasons.
I have long memory.

Agree completely with lfc1971

And the temptation to lapse into drugs or drink should be resisted.

Maybe... TIME....[ empty/nothing to do] time... is the enemy. Time to think.

Of course when someone is in the depths of depression motivation to do anything is the problem.

I believe the treatment of depression should be approached entirely differently to the conventional way which has obviously failed. To say they're barking up the wrong tree would be an understatement.
But that's where the money is.

Crippen, it's a tough one.
People who are prone to depression.... ARE.... THEY JUST ARE...nothing you can do about it imo.
For me, I would love to be kept in a total constant state of sedation but that's not living. So really, what's the point?

Here's an example of where I'm going.

People who suffer severe migraines very often suffer depression.

When the migraine problem is resolved through diet, the depression goes as well.

Yes but you're changing the subject slightly.
There's no cure for  migraine right now.
But for those who struggle with life [as we know it] you can't change the world.
Yes you can alter, I suppose, to some degree, a person's perception of the world. THEIR world.
But it is what it is.

Never had full blown depression (I think) but can be prone to the blues. Got prescribed medication once but resisted taking them.

For me at least, I try to remind myself that I'm just chemicals and I just try to alter a few things. Booze has to be knocked on the head, I consciously do more exercise, spend more time outdoors in general and just try to eat healthier, more natural foods. Set my alarm in the morning, even if it's at 9.30 on a day off and make sure I have a reason to go out - eg don't do a bulky shop, but go out and buy something for lunch, and then go out later and buy something for tea.

Not sure if these themselves sort it, or if the idea that I'm consciously being healthier tricks my mind into calming down but it seems to work.

I could have put that differently.

Migraines come and go. Good days/bad days.
And yes, I get what you're saying.

But life in general is 24/7.

That's true using conventional medicine to treat migraine ericster.

But the cure for migraine through food exclusion has been around for decades, and it works.

When the answer is obviously not in the box, you have to think outside of the box.

Crippen, my wife suffers with migraines and for her it's cheese and chocolate. It's not a cure but it helps.

And eggs, I think.

These are the DON'T HAVE foods.

I've seen threads on here about fasting diets.

It would be interesting to hear if anyone who suffers from migraines or depression has ever embarked on a total fast.
It's the second week on in the diet that is relevant when the offending foods have been completely removed.

Crippen i have read what you have posted and i agree on quite a lot of it , natural methods are good but sometimes medication needs to be given ,  i do agree though that it is hit and miss with anti depresants , benzos , anti psychotics , fasting can be very useful but sometimes people need hospital or crisis help[

Drugs are a minefield imo.
I DO SERIOUSLY believe that the wrong drug, because they are dished out, it seems, so routinely, could lead me to suicide and that's why I go it alone.

As for crisis help:
I know a woman whose teenage son was hospitalized because in their view he posed a threat to her safety.

"Fasting diets"?

fasting diets eris can help with all illness sometimes , sleep is vital too

yes ericster.
There's been a couple of threads where people have written how they've lost weight through fasting for weeks at a time.
It would be interesting if their health improved as well while not eating.

Okay.

This is a big subject.
With some doctors claiming that foods that do not digest well together can causes food intolerances and all kinds of other physical problems.

But there's no money in researching this stuff, so the decades slip by with the knowledge reserved to those who seek it out for themselves or doctors working in private medicine.

I was on a strict coeliac diet for quite a few years. Can't say that it helped my moods any.

Well it wouldn't if you're not suffering from the effects of gluten.

Crippen,
I was diagnosed gluten intolerant many years ago now only to realise, thanks to an article in a tabloid, that actually I can't eat  bread made from wheat-flour.
I'm not gluten intolerant.

There's a lot of stuff in bread.
Also bread isn't eaten by itself, we eat it with all kinds of things.

I'm not so sure that individual foods cause as many problems as is made out, I think it's as much to do with eating incompatible foods together that ruins smooth digestion which is at the root of many ailments. (leaky gut)

This idea that everything we eat is treated the same when it gets to our stomachs is completely wrong.
The evidence to support that is the shelves full of anti-indigestion tablets in the chemist shop.

Interesting thoughts there Crippen.
Incompatible foods indeed.
Yeah why not?
Could be.

turn off the news

worlds a depressing place

go local cafe,walks

" go local cafe, walks" run the gauntlet imo.

Sorry xmon,
but as you say,
the world IS a depressing place.

Get out there in the big wide world, wear a big pink frilly shirt and sing 'The sun has got his hat on' to all the people you meet on your merry way.


That should banish the summertime blues

Meanwhile most GPs never think further than prescribing drugs, which quite frankly are no more effective than beads and rattles in curing most ailments. And a lot more dangerous.

But of course developing new drugs and getting the NHS to use them is where the money is.

It's the food industry which decides what we eat as well.
Which is why so much meat fish and dairy is consumed, when we've been told for over half a century that it's killing us.

Aug 12, 2018 -- 1:25PM, TheBetterBettor wrote:

Get out there in the big wide world, wear a big pink frilly shirt and sing 'The sun has got his hat on' to all the people you meet on your merry way.That should banish the summertime blues

Get you arrested more like.

Totally Agree with a Lot that has been Said ,Leaving the House is a Start ,I have enough General Shyte to be getting on with

Bills to be Paid etc  .Life is far too Short to Dwell on Bad things I realise People can be Clinically Depressed ,and Also

Grief a Major Factor , I got to the Point where answering the Phone that I fully expected to be informed of Someones Passing

Another terrifying Aspect was on Entering the House and Expecting someone to be there if they Did not answer me a a full

Panic would set in ,Rediculous but that is how it was and still is on occasions , I logged into FB to find a close Friend of Mine had collapsed and Died ,Was fooking never ending   I will tell you this whatever Life throws at you ,Be assured there is worse to Follow , One day at a time is the way forward .

I suffer and no one would have a clue i do as im happy go lucky, always out on dates with birds, loads of friends etc.
I turned to drink to give me some relief each day but it just makes things worse in the long run. But for those hours drinking i
feel ok again. Doctor put me on citalopram a while back and yes it has improved my mood but had a few side effects. Including
finding it very difficult to ejaculate dont want to be on pills long term but had to seek help when i knew it had got that bad.
Anyway seeing a new bird recently and for the first time in my life i had to fake orgasm sounds silly i know
but i would've had a stroke if i didnt ha. I cant tell you things will get better but you have to just keep going. Good luck to everyone suffering
on here as its a horrible illness. Oh also be sure to eat well and get enough sleep as i wasnt and it was ruining me

for me the best drug for depression is exercise.  invest in a pair of trainers and if your not a runner which anyone can do start going for walks and gradually build your distance up. beats the dr every time wanting to throw all sorts of drugs into you.depression is a nasty illness but a lot of todays society seen to want to be victims.self motivate yourself and get out there.

depression is a nasty illness but a lot of todays society seem to want to be victims?

Do people want to be stroke /heart attack victims also? No one gets depression because they want it, however lots of people say they have it when they do not. It's an easy sick note if you have a googled list of symptoms to give to the doc.

Fair comment saddo.

Not reading this forum could only benefit a persons mental health.

Wouldn't do any harm Baron.

Hope you get better soon.

you cant be victim of a heart attack or stroke you have had one or you havent.however lots of people say they have it when they dont.thats what i said saddo they want to be victims. in todays world everybody seems to have depression or mentle health issues when they dont

You sound despondent but I doubt you are suffering from depression .

One thing is clear - if seeing a doctor isn't the answer to curing depression, and I think that's been firmly established.
Then one has to look elsewhere for the answer.

I am impressed by the quality of advice on this thread and erstwhile rivals can come up with common sense and forget their differences ! One aspect that I think is seriously misunderstood but touched on by anx and another poster is sleep,the quality of sleep is crucial and vastly undervalued.It may be that we are getting some regular sleep but consistent,interrupted sleep can play havoc with the mind.About the only medication worth taking for me would be a mild sleeping tablet for a while and exercise ongoing.

DancingBraveTheBest



hope you doing OK

there's always someone thinking of you.....


tonights its me


GL

Well said.

I hope DBTB is ok.

I am currently keeping an eye on a neighbour who is going through it. A text or two and a cuppa can be the difference between a bad day and an ok one.

I always comment on this subject so forgive me if I've said this before but if people don't come forward and talk and say hey I'm doing so well others won't which all to often sadly can lead suicide. I'm often down in the dumps, I don't think it can be considered deep depression but I can relate to many of the things said here worthlessness, low self esteem etc etc. As I've said on the outside looking in I should have nothing to be depressed about, a good woman in my life(punching way above my considerable weight) two sons both turned into fine young men, a first grandchild knocking at the door mortgage free etc etc. I do find though now I'm soon to be sixty my age gets me down, can't do all that I'd like to do or if I do it's a struggle or effort. Question all the time did I waste my life and the little time I have ahead of me. It's strange I have no fear of dying but constantly think about my own demise. Stopping work at 56 certainly hasn't helped, would like a job but what could I do. Can't stand for long due to arthritic knees. Lost four stone which did help a lot of the issues but then put three back on due to self destruct button I seem to have inbuilt in my system Your not alone Dancing a lot of people sadly have their demons, at this moment I'm in a good place and I wish the same for you and in fact everyone on here

numbers on depression havnt changed it was called backache 30 years ago,

Depression, bipolar, Schizoprhenia , anxiety , are not illnesses to be trifled with some are more serious and debilitating than others, it always puzzles me why people laugh or sneer at such conditions which can be a bad as most physical illness

they don't,they sneer at the luvies snowflakes etc claiming to be depressed when something happens there not happy with,thus wasting time,money,treatment which should be spent on those seriously suffering, our friend the lovely lilly goofing about on national tv at prime time on a Saturday night would be a good example

Im not sure i understand your logic 1tp , i dont think its just luvvies or whatever you want to call them that might claim to be depressed when something goes wrong , i hear people every day who say that and indeed they are not suffering from depression etc, if you are seriously depressed or anxious you probably dont even realise your suffering from it , by the way even people with lots of money can get very ill

especially when they have a book coming out,records to sell etc

Could conventional medical wisdom be barking up the wrong tree when treating depression?
Or I should say in their attempts to treat it because all that regular doctors ever manage is to dumb people down with dope in tablet form until the problem eases by itself, if it ever does.

So I'm afraid the future is bleak for sufferers of depression, the only chance they have is to try a food exclusion diet.
If they think that's futile as well. then they have no choice but to grin and bear their state of mental health.

millions upon millions now,  diagnosed with it,and they say millions suffering from it who don't even no, is it really possible, likely that all these people are suffering from depression, and millions upon millions have beern suffering with it getting on with their lives for the last 60,70 years or so, all the things they say trigger depression were far worse 50,60 years ago, money worries,career, family, identity etc,etcs,

I could comment further in support of that 1tp, but my hysterical stalkers would misrepresent what I wrote.

^As they usually do.

There is reactive depression to life events yes but there is also clinical depression which they think is a more chemical imbalance , yes i agree that food , diet and exercise are all important

Mood disorders and things like Schizophrenia have been around for a long time , long before the war

anxious    23 Sep 18 11:25 
There is reactive depression to life events yes but there is also clinical depression which they think is a more chemical imbalance




'they' haven't a clue anx, that theory is trotted out with many others, we'd have a unified approach to treating it if they knew owt. I have no idea if I am correct but I suspect there will be a correlation between population density and depression.

you mean living in a big city or an urban conurbation , yes studies have indicated this

don't need a dr,expert to tell any normal person would be depressed living in somewhere like Grenfell tower, but is it a clinical problem that need,s sorting with medication

A very apt chat name there sir....

I don't just mean crowded buildings 1TP. You are crowded by humanity from leaving home til returning, unless you live somewhere like lay de fav or Blackbarn.

...and another saddo...

Is there significance in that?

While there is big money to be made from treating illness, chronic health conditions like sever depression and a whole host of other so called incurable diseases will continue to exist.

Yet how can people challenge the disgraceful lack of effectiveness of doctors in combating disease, when everybody treats them like Gods?
At the end of the day for all the faith we put in doctors, we walk out of the surgery with a prescription for a drug that we might as well but in the bin for all the good it will do us in most cases.

Although I shouldn't be too hard on GPs, for at the end of the day their guess at what causes most common diseases is a good as anyone else's.

I have a mate in his 60,s who went to the dr for the 1st time in ages last year,

1st question  what tablets you on, none never been on tablets
dr
what, 60 odd yr old and not on any tablets we,ll soon sort that out,

in a few years time ,the few people left who havnt been diagnosed with depression will be depressed because they,ll think there missing out

again 1tp although i can see your humour but you are belittling mental illness

Haven't read all this, can't even remember what my symptoms were, but I wasn't feeling right, went to the Doc & he must of known what it was straight away as he sent me for a blood test but I had to be the last in as it had to be to the lab within 2 hours. Came back fine apart from 1 thing - severe vitamin D deficiency. So he prescribed a concentrated dose of vitamin D tablets for 10 weeks and that was roughly how long it took to get back to feeling myself again. Now I take a supplement everyday. Evidently we don't get enough sun in this country for our vitamin D needs.

My 14 year old daughter, last year, was diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency, despite having played tennis most days during the long summer holidays and having returned from a three week holiday in Spain when it was scorchio every day! It is very common by all accounts but it concerns me as to why or how she is deficient because I am CERTAIN  it's not a lack of sunshine in her case.

guaranteed  unless you go with a leg off and carry it in with you todays dr,s will start off any complaint with testing you,advising you about type 2  diabetes, and it will usually be a 4ft 3, 18 stone nurse  lecturing you,

Sorry but . ....
only person who can sort it is you
My mother woke up on her 14th birthday
And watched a spitfire and a meschersmitt
Shooting at each other in the skies over east london
The house was bombed and they had to move out
At 16 she was enrolled. in the wrens
She was in berlin after the war
Listening to german ladies screaming
Whilst being raped by russian soldiers
She was shafted by her father at 10
And on her deathbed i said to her
"How did you put up with that ?
did you ever get depressed ?"
Never forgot her answer....
"Na we just got on with it."

Many did and huge credit to them, there will not be many anecdotes about the ones who crumbled because they were not as strong.

and it will usually be a 4ft 3, 18 stone nurse  lecturing you, Laugh

Lol.

Or a baggy-eyed doctor with a pot belly.

Again we have people implying that mental illness is a choice and about being mentally weak , there is no evidence to support that

Lovely anecdote from irishone there,shouldv'\e told my best mate that hung himself after being in Iraq never read such utter ****..

Depression is a very serious medical issue which sadly carries a stigma with the older generation.

Robin Williams was a multi millionaire with the world at his feet who sadly gave in to this dreadful disease.

It can attack anybody regardless of their wealth and social status and is a serious problem.

Sorry to hear about your best mate giggilo.

I remember reading, when quite young, someone saying that the most dangerous weapon on earth we had to deal with was the human brain.
Never understood that until I got older.