Chit Chat
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11 Aug 18
21:11
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Date Joined:
01 Sep 08
Gots lots going on in my life at the moment as im sure you all have but ive had so much bad luck the past few years and its had a massive effect on my confidence and general feelings of well being. Today feel pretty low and just wondered anyone else experienced this also.
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Replies: 105
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Just out of a terrible year in 2017, gets you down but best thing is keep your head down,take very small risks betting and elsewhere and take what life is chucking at you then something good comes at the end of the tunnel and confidence (a precious commodity) comes back to you. Funniest thing is when you are low it all seems to come and kick you when you are down,some of the bad luck coincidences are incredible to imagine !
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You took the words right out of my mouth treetop. Your last sentance particularly rings true with me.
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Not personally but my sister is bipolar and my mum suffered with depression. Look for groups on Facebook, don't ever feel you have to be strong or face it alone.
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When you are low DBTB just log onto Bigmo's thread and have a few laughs,I often find it a form of medication without any side effects !
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I know depression is a medical condition and some people have it even if they have a great life so im not sure i have depression. But what i do have if incredible feelings of low self esteem and worthlessness due to events that have and are occuring in my life.
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the wife got made redundant a few months ago , she has just had a womans op that will have her bed ridden for a few weeks and will take a few months to get back to full fitness.
she said on Thursday what else can go wrong. her mother had a heart attack yesterday and is now in corany care. Ronnie. |
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sorry to hear that Ronnie, all the best to you and your mrs and her mum.
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People will laugh when i say this but it is true. Things started going drastically downhill for me when i married my girlfriend of 13 years 3 years ago.
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Mrs T has been on anti depressants for 20 years but from the outside is a confident and successful business woman ,sounds crazy but needs constant reassurance, probably the case with most females if we believe the media. Just grit your teeth and do what you have to do to get by and the sun will shine now and then.
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I blame Greville Starkey!
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 cheers Delta, made me smile. |
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tbf - lots blamed Greville
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Pat got it right though
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DBTB when you say a lot of bad luck the last few years do you mean gambling luck.
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That is a contributing factor but work and relationship plus got my brothers mate in to do work in house and he fecked it up. Lost my wedding ring, lost a work contract, got another job now but am ashamed to say it am being harrassed and bullied by the **** im working with so got another job starting September. The harrassment and bullying has knocked me for 6, never thought in a million years id be a victim of that.
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Some people do get a kicking - there is no doubt. I think there some who sail through like and iron clad with shells bouncing off them - I am not sure about that type. They are either so insensitive and unfeeling or are complet b.......
There are others who simply don't give a toss - you know the happy go lucky types - have a few beers each night - have a bit of a larf and toddle off to work the next day. Then the worriers. Then the vulnerable and often caring types who get trod on. It is a nasty world out there. When you get shipwrecked - try to cling on to the wreckage and get back ashore as soon as you can. |
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Friends are good to have.
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Workplace bullying is a funny thing, until you've experienced it, you might think it's a joke and adults wouldn't be affected by it.
One of those things, until you've experienced it, don't belittle others who have. I had it a little years ago, the problem is it just grinds you down as you know each day becomes worse than it should be. Basically one c--- and a lesser c---, but the place was an awful negative mess anyway. It was the sort of place where people like that would thrive, I left. Never worked in a place like that before or since, so there is hope! :) |
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how about watching some comedy dancing ? ... laughter is always the best medicine
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that is comedy Dancing and not comedy dancing
although you could try the dancing i suppose |
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focus on the positives in your life
try to negate all the negative inputs as for the workplace bullies tell em FECK OFF U CaNT might get in troble but worth it all the best |
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"there is no doubt. I think there some who sail through like and iron clad with shells bouncing off them - I am not sure about that type. They are either so insensitive and unfeeling or are complet b.......
15 Years ago I found My mother Dead tried to Resus her Etc ,No good ,Now that was Bad, in the 15 years Since, I cannot even count the amount of Friends and Family I have lost , its not an Iron Shell, You hit desperate Lows , somehow you adapt ,fook knows how ,A lot of the people I will see no more ,were younger than me Im only 58 , I was Diagnosed with the Big C myself 18 month back but seem to be winning that battle for some Unknown reason, But that can turn on a sixpence .I wont be going into details of my Lost Friends and Family they are Gone and that's it , One chap was 38 left 4 kids  I could Find myself in an Extremely dark place ,and at Times have been there ,What good does it do being there ? We probably have passed/met Thousands of People Over the years who are dealing with the same shyte or Worse ,Its Life Its Shyte ,but to be honest I was never promised a Rose garden If Depression is Feeling Hollow ,Empty , Zombie like , I have been there and without my Partner would be fully Entrenched. Anyone suffering, it is only you can get yourself out of it ,And remember as you walk down the street you are not the only one who is in that Dark place, you will have probably passed a few people each day, who are frequent visitors . |
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It wont solve everything, but laughing and exercise would help at least alleviate some suffering, both release endorphins as does talking. Depressed people hide it so well because they tend to isolate themselves and say little. It's a bit like confidence, which can go quickly and come back slowly, depression can come on quickly and goes away slowly so hanging in there may be simplistic advice but is good advice. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Modern life doesn't help and is a big factor in the increased rate, we're surrounded by relentless, non stop negativity with 24 hours news, the daily rat race encourages us to eat bad food for pick me ups and social media blurs people's perceptions of reality. Something I've never used and never would, this in particular is the scourge of today's society, think it's very unhealthy to follow other people's lives, what they're saying, what they're doing, what they're thinking, where they're going, who they're seeing, people would be happier in the long run just concentrating on themselves and spending less time on computers, as mammals we're not born to be sedentary, we need to be outside in the fresh air with human interaction I think the scientific explanation regarding depression centres around stress hormones such as cortisol, people suffering from depression have a lower tolerance of stress/higher concentration of stress hormones but most cases of severe depression are not chemically related, psychotherapy is a much more useful tool in dealing with the issue rather than swallowing a lorry load of over the counter pills. Going straight to the root and learning what triggers your depression and how to deal with it is a long term solution, tablets are always short termism choices the multi national drug companies hope you take. Good luck. |
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darren_discombobulates_sports thats probably the best post I’ve ever read on here.
Is there anything like an online Samaratians service available? So you could have a conservative through a keypad rather than the phone or face to face? |
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I've never really suffered with depression, but there have been a few times where I've wondered where the chuff I go from here. Without doubt, exercise helps, per Darren's post above. Just go out on a bike, get the heart pumping, feel the wind in your face, take in the sights. The first couple of rides, you might find it quite difficult (especially if you're riding a mountain bike), but once you get your heart and lungs used to what you're asking them to do (and are thus no longer needing to remember to breathe!), you almost go off into a trance and your subconscious mind starts to do all sorts of positive things (I find, anyway). It's curiously addictive, too.
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I had a bit of a double whammy back in 2001. A long time ago I know but some things you never truly get over you just go through trying to cope. I’m pretty sure i’d have been on the streets if it hadn’t been for my girlfriend. Although i’m not very active anymore on here, did the dogs for years and did plenty on chitchat too early on, this place also helped to save me.
Can’t really give any advice because I think we are all different but as for cycling that can be a bit stressful cos the road surfaces are shocking and the traffic can be a real pain. If you want exercise try a 10 mile walk in the Lake District or your nearest national park. Best of luck to all fellow sufferers. |
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Something that can help if you can find the time is to try and learn a foreign language , it makes you concentrate on reading and listening carefully and can give your brain respite for that short time , or longer if you are lucky
I like to listen to France 24 news and current affairs etc ...news doesn’t seem so terrible in a foreign language : ) I think because you will know what is being talked about it makes it easier to follow and pick up the language , books also of course , it’s more the attempt to understand the language and it’s quite a bit easier than trying to follow what is said in a film And as racingcert says walking can help physically and mentally , it doesn’t have to be anywhere particularly beautiful as well |
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There's a lot of good sense in these comments.
darren_discom....especially. But I DO think that 71 may have hit the nail on the head. Just about the only time that I'm not feeling down is when I'm at work. Why? Because my work is so demanding. I have to apply myself, totally, to what I am doing. Mentally, it really IS another world. And no, I DON'T like Greville Starkey, or K. Fallon, for similar reasons. I have long memory. |
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Agree completely with lfc1971
And the temptation to lapse into drugs or drink should be resisted. |
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Maybe... TIME....[ empty/nothing to do] time... is the enemy. Time to think.
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Of course when someone is in the depths of depression motivation to do anything is the problem.
I believe the treatment of depression should be approached entirely differently to the conventional way which has obviously failed. To say they're barking up the wrong tree would be an understatement. But that's where the money is. |
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Crippen, it's a tough one.
People who are prone to depression.... ARE.... THEY JUST ARE...nothing you can do about it imo. For me, I would love to be kept in a total constant state of sedation but that's not living. So really, what's the point? |
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Here's an example of where I'm going.
People who suffer severe migraines very often suffer depression. When the migraine problem is resolved through diet, the depression goes as well. |
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Yes but you're changing the subject slightly.
There's no cure for migraine right now. But for those who struggle with life [as we know it] you can't change the world. Yes you can alter, I suppose, to some degree, a person's perception of the world. THEIR world. But it is what it is. |
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Never had full blown depression (I think) but can be prone to the blues. Got prescribed medication once but resisted taking them.
For me at least, I try to remind myself that I'm just chemicals and I just try to alter a few things. Booze has to be knocked on the head, I consciously do more exercise, spend more time outdoors in general and just try to eat healthier, more natural foods. Set my alarm in the morning, even if it's at 9.30 on a day off and make sure I have a reason to go out - eg don't do a bulky shop, but go out and buy something for lunch, and then go out later and buy something for tea. Not sure if these themselves sort it, or if the idea that I'm consciously being healthier tricks my mind into calming down but it seems to work. |
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I could have put that differently.
Migraines come and go. Good days/bad days. And yes, I get what you're saying. But life in general is 24/7. |
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That's true using conventional medicine to treat migraine ericster.
But the cure for migraine through food exclusion has been around for decades, and it works. When the answer is obviously not in the box, you have to think outside of the box. |
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Crippen, my wife suffers with migraines and for her it's cheese and chocolate. It's not a cure but it helps.
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And eggs, I think.
These are the DON'T HAVE foods. |