settled in Torquay after his travevls for the quiet life.  major @ faulty

i know nothing

The hole in one boys who did Scotland avoided Laddies, hills and etc.
Used to target the wee bookies in the run up to a tourney.
Put themselves across as keen golfers wanting an interest for the event.

Give it a rest ffs BB. You've made your point so just leave it.
BTW speak for yourself and stop including Most of us on here
Unless of course you've organised a survey.

Akabula - Since you have got involved, my point, which I have tried to put more delicately perhaps is deserved, is that Brassneck is claiming involvement in the "hole in one" campaign. I await evidence of any such involvement.

If you misunderstand this, or have something to add. I am happy to respond.

Your reference to "most of us on here" was based on what seemed to me to be a fair assessment of the subsequent posts relating to the subject.

blackbarn,remember I am one of only 4 people that has won over one million pound on betfair which was well documented.and I can name two others but that would be unfair.

btw, pumph, it was Paul who died. Not that I've seen him in about 35 years but I didn't hear of John's passing.

Back to the OP – Another coincidence story.

Me and Mrs Gin had tickets to The Specials comeback tour in 2009. We travelled from Bristol to Birmingham in the afternoon and were looking  for somewhere to get something to eat before the gig. After wandering around Birmingham centre for a while we saw a Pizza Express and went in and sat down. I just started perusing the menu when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see my brother and his wife. They had travelled to Birmingham from Wiltshire for a completely unrelated event and just happened to pick the same Pizza Express at the same time as us!

I liked pumphol's story about thinking he had to read the card covering his eye to do the eye test. When I was five or six the school nurse used to hold her watch up to our ears, ask some question, and everybody would nod their head and say "yes". So I used to do the same, as I had no idea what the question was, not being able to hear her well enough to understand it.

It was years later that I found out that watches make a noise, and the question was "Can you hear that?"

Hi SF, I knew one had died quite a few years back not sure why I assumed it was John, hope your ok mate.

Just looked it up Paddy can't remember ever seeing it before, didn't that neither of my parents could swim either.

Brassneck talks more sh1t than anyone on these forums.  Which I suppose makes him remarkable.

I've got a hole in one of the elbows of three of my jumpers

I have 2 stories, both 100% genuine but a bit S**t.

Story 1.

Was traveling back from the football at Ayr one Tuesday evening. The atmosphere in the car wasn't great as my mate and I had just witnessed our beloved Falkirk getting pumped 6 nil. Was getting close to home and we had just turned onto the Stepps bypass near Glasgow. Suddenly my guts started doing cartwheels and I was bursting for a Tomtit. Struggled on (as you do) with waves of oh-oh for at least 5 minutes. It soon became apparent that some serious turtleing was occurring and getting home without sh*****g myself wasn't going to happen. So it was off at the first exit to look for a secluded spot. Not far off the bypass, there it was a seemingly deserted field with what looked like an open fronted wooden hut. I was out the car like a shot and into the boot to look for anything resembling toilet paper. All I could find was a roll of Christmas paper and I was over the gate and into the hut pronto. The deed was done and I was just about to unroll the Christmas paper to wipe/smear my rear end when out of the darkness, heading towards the hut/stable and me, came two four-legged shadows. One of the nags was right in and started nuzzling into an area you don't want a horse nuzzling and he/she wasn't being deterred by my attempts to fend it off with my roll of Christmas paper. It was now time for a sharp exit, so I pulled my kegs up as best I could and made a break for the gate. My mate who was watching and listening to the whole thing unfold was in a crumpled heap on the grass in hysterics. With the 2 nags in hot pursuit, I dived over the gate holding my kegs up with one hand and my roll of Christmas paper in the other. It sounds far-fetched but it's 100% true.

Story 2.

After a heavy night out in Manchester (hospitality), I was travelling back up the road on the M6. I was in the front passenger seat, a Rep was driving and there was another customer in the back seat.
As we drove up the M6 the customer in the back (who shall remain nameless) enquired of the Rep if he could pull in at the next service station for the toilet. At this point, everything was calm and hunkydory. A couple of minutes later he enquired again but this time with a bit more urgency. Very soon afterwards he seemed to have worked himself up into a frenzy and was crawling around on the back seat begging the Rep to stop the car while stating hysterically "you need to stop, am gony **** myself, I'm gony **** myself" repeatedly. At this point, we were in a contraflow and it was impossible to stop. Through tears of laughter, the Rep was starting to realise the gravity of the situation and was begging the customer to "not s**t in his motor" as his weans had to travel in it. It then went South very quickly as the next thing we heard was "am gony **** me, I'm gony s**t myself" followed by the sound of a belt being loosened, a zip coming down and the customer proceeded to squat down at the back of my seat and take a **** on the car floor. Well, the smell hit us immediately and much dry boaking ensued as we raced to get our windows down. As you can imagine the customer in question is extremely embarrassed about the whole situation and is now known by all who have heard the story as "****r". Behind his back of course...he is still a customer...As an aside, the Rep phoned me up later that night to inform me that " Brockville, I've just been thinking. It's impossible to do a sh**e without doing a p**s. The dirty bastard must have p***ed in my car as well"

Christmas paper? Why couldn't you use a sock like everyone else?

Very funny stories, though! Are you sure you weren't the guy in the back seat?

I once beat a multiple World Champion Darts player in a one-leg game, hitting the very middle of the double-top to secure the honours. It took place in a marquee and was witnessed by quite a few people, and the Champion's manager.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

In my shop one day & a women came in asking about a type of shoe we used to sell, sadly we had long since sold out but had one foot sitting on a shelf, my dad told her we had looked for the other foot for months & it was nowhere to be found, with that she walked over to a large box full of junk, stuck her hand right to the bottom & pulled out the other foot !
Already shocked I asked how did you do that which she replied " I have clairvoyant skills bla bla bla & all that.
Well it was Royal Ascot so I said to her find me the winner of the Royal Hunt Cup, she took the pen & circled a horse.
She marked off Governorship a complete rag

Worst part of it was neither my father or myself felt compelled to back it & after what had just happened I still to this day don't get why we never did.

Winner of the 1988 Royal Hunt Cup - Governorship 33/1

Early 1980's, a mate of mine was playing in the Welsh Open snooker tournament in Newport.
He asked me if I could take his wife to the venue, as I was going anyway, and she was working during the day
and wouldn't be able to travel with him in the afternoon.
I picked her up as arranged and made our way to Newport.
When we got there, we went to the players and officials lounge area, as you do lol, and I met a number of the then current
top players... Steve Davis, John Parrott, Doug Mountjoy etc., and noticed there was a table at the side of the room with a TV
on it, where you could watch the match being played in the arena.
I sat down in the middle of the 3 seats, and two others cam and sat either side of me. In an instant I recognised the voice to
my left.. it was none other than Whispering Ted Lowe, and to my right sat Clive Everton!
They talked to each other exactly as they do when commentating on a live match on TV.
It was one of the most surreal experiences I can ever remember.
We had a good chat for a while, and can only say it was a pleasure speaking to someone I had heard only on TV for years before.

One of my friends was a prominent Labour MP. Sadly passed away recently.