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bongo
19 Aug 17 13:52
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Date Joined: 12 May 01
| Topic/replies: 6,054 | Blogger: bongo's blog
Let's say you own a sporting goods store just off the Trinity Bridge in Manchester and some nutter wielding an 18 inch knife shouting Allahu Akbar is running across it. A very unlikely scenario I know, but this is a thought experiment.
Let's say you want to tackle the guy and be a hero, 'cos heroes get laid, right.
Then what is the best implement or set of implements to whip off your shelves to tackle the nutter?
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Report Slicer August 19, 2017 1:57 PM BST
An air pistol!
Report acey deucy August 19, 2017 1:59 PM BST
7 Iron for me.
Report Ibrahima Sonko August 19, 2017 2:03 PM BST
Hugs.
Report trilby22 August 19, 2017 2:10 PM BST
Boomerang.
Report GoOnThen August 19, 2017 2:19 PM BST
Hockey stick.
Report Badsworth August 19, 2017 2:34 PM BST
A javelin if your shop sells athletics equipment or darts, but not the sort that they use at funfairs.
Report tictacman1 August 19, 2017 6:04 PM BST
Crossbow or Archery bow...Nap
Report bongo August 20, 2017 8:41 AM BST
I like the javelin idea from Badsworth.
If there's 2 of you working the store you should grab a different weapon each - it would be very hard for a sole knife attacker to win against two opponents.
Report Ramruma August 20, 2017 8:48 AM BST
Anything that will keep the attacker more than 18 inches plus one arm-length away from you.

Or maybe a goal net if you can throw it over the attacker and get him tangled up in it.
Report Lady Faye Verrit August 20, 2017 9:24 AM BST
A Remington 12 gauge, pump action shotgun......
Report Ibrahima Sonko August 20, 2017 9:30 AM BST
Throw an arsenal shirt on the attacker, when he has a clear shot on you he will pass it sideways.
Report detraveller August 20, 2017 9:55 AM BST
I would call him in and point him to a gun store. Using knives in the 21st century ffs.
Report Foinavon August 21, 2017 9:02 AM BST
An ice axe for the pleasure of hearing the bone crack as you embed it in his skull.
Report cooperman August 22, 2017 7:30 AM BST
A sea fishing rod with a saltwater croc treble hook attached should suffice, every time he tries to leg it give him some line then reel him back in.
Report Crisp77 August 22, 2017 11:24 AM BST
18.5 inch ballet tutu
Report Ken Masters August 22, 2017 11:56 AM BST
Ice skates, watch the fecker try to stand up in those, let alone run.
Report cooperman August 22, 2017 2:44 PM BST
Laugh It's a great idea Ken but I think the o/p wanted something to tackle him with and not something to make him wear, otherwise I would have suggested an ice hockey goalie's outfit. He wouldn't be able to run and given the protection would have to endure a long period of retribution. Until, that is, Foinavon caught up with him.
Report elise August 22, 2017 3:18 PM BST
first aid kit

just wrap a bandage around your head and shout allah is good as he approaches, you'll be quite safe, he may even stop to pass the time of day and discuss your favourite quran passage
Report ufcdan August 22, 2017 6:25 PM BST
Make him stand in line at Spors Direct..........he'll die of boredom or old age !
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