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Let's say you own a sporting goods store just off the Trinity Bridge in Manchester and some nutter wielding an 18 inch knife shouting Allahu Akbar is running across it. A very unlikely scenario I know, but this is a thought experiment.
Let's say you want to tackle the guy and be a hero, 'cos heroes get laid, right.
Then what is the best implement or set of implements to whip off your shelves to tackle the nutter?
Let's say you want to tackle the guy and be a hero, 'cos heroes get laid, right.
Then what is the best implement or set of implements to whip off your shelves to tackle the nutter?
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Replies: 19
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An air pistol!
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7 Iron for me.
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Hugs.
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Boomerang.
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Hockey stick.
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A javelin if your shop sells athletics equipment or darts, but not the sort that they use at funfairs.
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Crossbow or Archery bow...Nap
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I like the javelin idea from Badsworth.
If there's 2 of you working the store you should grab a different weapon each - it would be very hard for a sole knife attacker to win against two opponents. |
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Anything that will keep the attacker more than 18 inches plus one arm-length away from you.
Or maybe a goal net if you can throw it over the attacker and get him tangled up in it. |
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A Remington 12 gauge, pump action shotgun......
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Throw an arsenal shirt on the attacker, when he has a clear shot on you he will pass it sideways.
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I would call him in and point him to a gun store. Using knives in the 21st century ffs.
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An ice axe for the pleasure of hearing the bone crack as you embed it in his skull.
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A sea fishing rod with a saltwater croc treble hook attached should suffice, every time he tries to leg it give him some line then reel him back in.
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18.5 inch ballet tutu
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Ice skates, watch the fecker try to stand up in those, let alone run.
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 It's a great idea Ken but I think the o/p wanted something to tackle him with and not something to make him wear, otherwise I would have suggested an ice hockey goalie's outfit. He wouldn't be able to run and given the protection would have to endure a long period of retribution. Until, that is, Foinavon caught up with him. |
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first aid kit
just wrap a bandage around your head and shout allah is good as he approaches, you'll be quite safe, he may even stop to pass the time of day and discuss your favourite quran passage |
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Make him stand in line at Spors Direct..........he'll die of boredom or old age !
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