Its Raining and i'm supposed to be on the Golf Course

Good

thought that might be coming

How about tidying your sock draw ?

Done that and the hoovering..no cricket either and its my fast day so i can't even stuff my face

So you have a bit of a weight problem ?

What is your weight ?

carpet putting

long term an excellent use of time

13stone 10lbs ..6ft tall..about a stone and a half overweight mainly due to sitting on here yacking to you

Fast day for me too.

Today I will mostly be eating....

turkey salad for dinner...

No good for me Donny...I NEVER miss from outside 10ft

Meant inside*

have you no room bigger than 10 ft ?

Course i have but it would mean asking all the immigrants in my house to move and they are all happily watch homes under the hammer at the moment...have a heart Don

"mister twister…… I am wanting to go to dis auction…… can you tell me where near one is ! "

Could you put that into English old chap..not quite getting you're lingo..u get me?

No leopard..that's why i didn't understand...none of my lot speak English..oh...sorry..apart from the word "benefit"..when i say "benefit" they all smile and say "good good"

You could do indoor exercises like me, knee bends, push-ups, squat thrusts, dumbbell pumps.... Keep taking off those calories

What do you weigh?

I never weigh myself…… near 11 stone

At a guess

4ft 8 ins tall?

thats tall for a leopard !

Just dug the scales out.... 11 stone five ounces

5 feet 10 inches tall

I'm a big Leopard

Skinny ba$tard

I was that weight once

When i was 12

Whenever you are tempted to eat anything with a high calorie count Think twice,...... Think about the exercise needed to get rid of those calories

If you can resist for six minutes...... The desire usually goes away

A well-known fact

I will try that tomorrow evening when i'm surrounded by McVicties choc gems

Throw them out now and you will not be tempted

Maybe give them to a homeless geezer

The immigrants or the choc gems?

The homeless geezer said he prefers ICE gems

Tell him beggars can't be choosers

very good

There but for her grace of God go you.

.... If there was a god… of course