The Apprentice

A programme about delusional tosspots, why do people watch it.

I think Alana said that some cake costs 18p to make.  She said she made about £40k profit on about £75k turnover.

Was she paying herself or her partner any wages?

It's a national embarrassment, isn’t it?

I particularly love the pomposity of their talk about what is or isn't done 'in business' as though 'business' is some abstract entity that has nothing to do with actually building or doing stuff. Which is exactly the problem with these people. 'Business' is apparently strutting up and down laying blame trails as thickly as platitudes while demonising anyone who actually rolls up their sleeves and gets on with actual work.

If any of these pillocks were any use they'd have approached a Venture Capitalist, gone all 'alpha' on them and been up and away wheeling home their millions already, instead of taking part in this charade.

View it through the prism of it being a Comedy series and it becomes slightly less awful.

It's a piece of cake to win tbf.

Jack Hacksaw 19 Dec 16 11:11 
I think Alana said that some cake costs 18p to make.  She said she made about £40k profit on about £75k turnover.

Was she paying herself or her partner any wages?


yep. this struck me as something that definitely needed exploring. And the fact that she was working out of her own kitchen, so no cost for the premises.

Despite that, I really liked Alana.  The rest were all bombastic tw@ts or token morons (or a heady combination) and they hugely underrated her despite her remaining calm and being rather sensible. She also upped her confidence by just the right amount towards the end.

Top dragon Deborah Meaden did invest in a cake company. £50,000 for 25 per cent (it says here):

http://www.deborahmeaden.com/investment/propermaid

£39k profit on £75 turnover making cakes. would like to see those figures verified. Think she said a cake costs £1 to make and you can sell them for £3. But when you scale-up and go into mass production, with massive overheads she won't be showing that kind of profit margin.

If it's true and she has actually made over 50% profit on £75k t/o then she has certainly done very well indeed, but just a bit hard to believe that (?)

Thought 'Ridiculously Rich by Alana' was not a very good brand name or selling point, the 'Country Kitchen' idea she mentioned or something along those lines would have been better, maybe (?) Very interested to see what happens next and how successful she is. Lord Sugar out of his comfort zone and took a gamble on it but what a choice he had, thought this was the worst lot ever on the apprentice, and with someone like Courtney in the final shows how bad it was. Alana was turned down for the junior apprentice 7 years ago. Would love to see this work for her but I wouldn't have invested in it...... (probably turn out to be hugely successful now and have a business as big as Mr Kipling !)

It truly is a national embarrassment....should be relegated to Channel 5.

Is there no scope for a serious 'Apprentice' ..with genuine, capable candidates and a Guru who occasionally contributes something educational or worthwhile?

Alternatively, light entertainment where deluded people of limited intelligence routinely humiliate themselves is what the Prime Time viewing public actually want.

£39k profit on £75 turnover making cakes. Surprised would like to see those figures verified. Think she said a cake costs £1 to make and you can sell them for £3. But when you scale-up and go into mass production, with massive overheads she won't be showing that kind of profit margin.

No. £1 was her wholesale price to cafes who could then charge £3 to customers. She said they cost around 20p to make which surely must be only the ingredients -- it can't include any overheads like wages, electricity and transport.

£40k profit is impressive but is that before or after paying herself and her staff (the disposable boyfriend) and I expect the local council will now be checking she is paying business rates on her kitchen?

How crap must the business plans of the remaining contestants have been?

Alan Sugar ...

"I only once invested in something that was out of my comfort zone ... and I lost a fortune" (or words to that effect)

and 1 sentence later said he was going to invest in the cake business ... something he said he knew nothing about.

It's the BBC though.

Pure fantasy and for the simple minded.

BTW only watched because Mrs mememe made mememe

"No. £1 was her wholesale price to cafes who could then charge £3 to customers. She said they cost around 20p to make which surely must be only the ingredients"

Sorry, thought they cost her £1 to make, but blimey only.20p to make and then charge customers £3. What a mark-up !!!!! In that case 'RIDICULOUSLY RICH by Alana' is a very suitable brand name ! Of course as you say that is only the ingredients, there is still the overheads, but seriously how can you make a quality cake for only .20p ???!!!!

there's also the other problem that she's publicly announced that anyone who buys them is getting fleeced.

"Ratnered"

tbh I'm not really sure how her plan is supposed to work. She wants to supply cafes and delicatessens all over the country but most will surely have their own suppliers already, which she will need to displace.

So while she expands, her logistics costs will be horrendous: sending a dozen brownies a day to Macclesfield and the same to Portsmouth with nothing in between, especially if she is doing it from West Wales. She'd have done better to take on another employee or two and cover more festivals where people will pay high mark-ups -- she could double her income BUT of course if she now has to give Lord Sugar his 50 per cent, she will be back where she started.

Im amazed people still think this is real. The bits by Lord Sugar and his cronies are scripted and the vast majority of contestants are chosen by the BBC based on their entertainment value and nothing else. I think it was admitted that only 3 or 4 of the contestants are genuinely in with a chance of winning the prize.

Most of the firings are decided by the BBC based on perceived entertainment value of the individual involved which is why some of the craziest are always there until virtually the end. As for that Littner character the BBC really need to realize he just isnt believable in any way and get rid of him.

Dotchnite, you're right, the programme isn't there to be taken seriously but your theory doesn't hold true in the context of the final two.

absolute sh1te this programme

First series was fresh and believable, lately has become an exercise in back stabbing and denigration of others. Needs binned.

setting up a kitchen will take a fair whack of the 250k

I think there is a right size for every business, and for her if she has really been this successful on a small scale. Given the enormous cost of expanding, if she has been making 50%+ on a small scale, surely best option is to grow the business but not too big, stay small, finger on the pulse.

She has obviously got big ideas/dreams, and with Sugar's £250k investment, seems to think she can carry on doing the same thing but with a much bigger operation. Sugar will want his share, overhead costs will rocket, big difference than just a small set-up with current boyfriend.

Been reading her story "my mum bought me a book on how to make your own chocolate" and started making chocolate and selling it at school to classmates. Then got on to making cakes.... From the classroom to the farmer's markets and then onto food festivals....pic of her at a farmer's market selling her Brownie cakes: 1 for £3. 2 for £5. 5 for £10.

Fair play to her, done well so far, but to go from this to mass cake production........?

karen brady said last night its a small buisness that lord sugars contacts could help it expand ,only last week sugar said to one of the contestants,if you think putting my name to something will help it sell forget it ,its an absolute lie

Some thicko's on here. Most of the show is fake. Especially those tasks where they pitch to a big retailer...they've ordered "100k units" yeah ok as if they would ever order any of the shiit that they come up with.

However one thing that is totally believable is the mark-up on making/selling cakes. I don't know why anyone is shocked at those figures? Ingredients relatively cheap, bake your own and sell on at silly prices. Key is always simplicity.

The selling to the high street stuff is just BS though, ain't happening. But extending her network selling at events is completely feasible.

Early  morning phone call, meet Lord Sugar at the Guildhall - cars leave in 20 minutes.

Bedrooms full of women and metrosexual men sharing hairdryers, showers, ironing boards and mirrors getting ready in 20 minutes.

My arse.