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Chit Chat
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An associate of mine had been drinking for hours in boozer Sambucca Chasers ,Got up and tried to have a pish in
the Draw in the Fruit Machine ,Swore Blind he was in the Toilet
Fortunately I was not present ,I would have been carried out Larfing
the Draw in the Fruit Machine ,Swore Blind he was in the Toilet
Fortunately I was not present ,I would have been carried out Larfing
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Replies: 21
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easily done but you'd think someone would have given him a nudge.
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eh eh
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I've been there. You stand there hoping for a third plum and it never arrives.
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he probably could have done with a friend there too to HOLD it
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no satsifying crags Ron. He wants his jokes with bells on.
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a mate of mine walked into the local Chinese one night , stood there pi55ing full steam into his large exotic potted plant casually for a good 5 minutes before saying Hi & walking back out the door again , chased by the owner attempting to smack him round the legs repeatedly with a baseball bat
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Why did this very angry owner watch him pizzing for a full 5 minutes before chasing him out?
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if he had ordered 36 and two 49s normal fryday at The Chinese
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I'm waiting for fishy to post one of his HOLD# posts
holding on... |
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He was Wokking !
Very funny watching the owner chasing him across the car park trying to smack him round the legs with a bat as he hadn't pulled his trousers up properly & fell down further with every swing & a jump |
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Sounds like he was an easy target?
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Wokking? with a wok
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A mate's mum once heard a noise out on the landing, opened the bedroom door to find my mate stood at the top of the stairs pissing down them. He thought he was in the toilet.
I once slashed through someone's letterbox near the student union. Suddenly heard the bolt getting pulled across and legged it, slashing all down my leg whilst running for my life. I was a bad person. |
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Roger knows that it's ok to post pissing
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Have to be in some Condition to do it in the Pub
I said just as well you didn't think the Machine was the Mrs He was with people he works with as well |
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Done worse myself though my damage was usually self inflicted
after drinking half a bottle of whiskey & smoking, passed out stone cold , 6ft face down onto a mates tiled kitchen floor , so drunk I literally shot back up on my feet still unconscious with my tooth knocked out , to make it worse went outside sat on his garden wall to get some fresh air , face covered in blood when a copper walked past , took one look & twisted me up , arrested instantly , then made up stories that I'd assaulted him .... The mate died a few years back , wasn't even 35  |
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Sad Story Mc Moonbeam
I take it easy nowadays but once when living in Inverness I drunk 25 pints and helped everyone into taxis who were drunk,tried to get back to ring a taxi for myself to find the door shut.Decided to walk home taking a short cut accross a river bridge into a small forest eventually arrived home went to bed,started work next day at 8 am only to be told go to the toilet and look at your face in the mirror. I looked like The Elephant Man I had hit virtually every tree in the forest head on turning my face into an Art masterpiece that could sell for 1m at Christies..never again  |
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Got taxi to Drop me off Round the Corner from House, had been missing for nearly 2 days ,was hoping Mrs would be Akip and thought Taxi Pulling up would waken Her ,Strange what you Think,
Got out of Cab and walked Straight into a Stone Lamp post EYE SPLIT Unbelievable tbh .Slept on Settee Eye stuck to Cushion upon awakening  |