Trick or Treaters just knocked on my door

i"amsitting in the dark all curtains closed .....bar humbug

I find a simple "**** Off and die" suffices

had 38 and counting

take a shotgun out and fire at a father xmas in case there thinking about carol singing in december

I might amuse myself next year and open the door holding an axe

Answering the door in Jimmy Savile mask is always a hoot.

give,em a few heroes or haribo,s ,worth it for the look on their face when there expecting 50p or a knicker priceless

I just hang a fecking great spider on my porch - some would call this ironic

I live in a small village and here we have a villagers association which organises various things throughout the year. For Halloween they have a leaflet they give out to all the properties in the village. There is a big picture of a pumpkin with the message "TRICK OR TREATERS WELCOME" in large writing. So if you are happy to get trick or Treaters you put this in your windowt

Simple but effective and it avoids many people, especially some of the elderly, being bothered by the trick or treaters as the youngsters ere look out for these leaflets being displayed. It is a pity this is not done on a much wider scale.

My mouse battery is getting low in power. Misprints in my post above as windowt should be window. and ere should be here.

Their  mothers go round with them these days. The mothers stand by the gate and send the kids to knock on the doors.

I always say ''go and fetch your mother, and I'll give her a treat.''

roma gypo,s on overtime tonight

you have to admire Facts at this time of year, even if they get over the wall the nurses always apprehend them on the secure wing before they can knock on his door.

When i was a wee laddie in Scotland we used to go around the clubs and they would stick us on the stage and throw money on to it.....Made a right killing.

Each year I make sure I have buckets of sweets in the house ready for trick or treat.
It's nott that I'm generous, but I'm the local dentist, and I know they'll pay me back tenfold in a few years.

6 mini mars bars left out of 50.

Dentists looking for future clients, Doctors offering to service their mothers, postmen switching off all the lights, barons scaring them with saville masks and 1st time posters taking a shot gun out, what a lovely, joyful bunch we all are

Apparently, at Lily Allen's house trick or treaters get a miniature vodka and a packet of Benson & Hedges.

Just getting some practice in ready for the season of goodwill.

TheBaron 31 Oct 16 18:08 Joined: 18 Jan 08 | Topic/replies: 976 | Blogger: TheBaron's blog
Answering the door in Jimmy Savile mask is always a hoot.

Video it

glasshouses dogman 31 Oct 16 18:17 Joined: 06 Dec 03 | Topic/replies: 145 | Blogger: glasshouses dogman's blog
My mouse battery is getting low in power. Misprints in my post above as windowt should be window. and ere should be here

They chew the batteries up i used to have one and had to change weekly.Get the old wire back it saves hassle

some cheeky cooonts at or house just asked if we had any gluteen free sweets and one shouted he was lactose intolerant,

Did they look like kids or grown adults

yummy mummies firing the questions down the path

Apparently, at Lily Allen's house trick or treaters get a miniature vodka and a packet of Benson & Hedges.

blimey Poker got her address? I'm sure she will believe I'm between 8 - 17 yrs old.

I opened the door and a gang of children ran down the drive screaming. "Oh its horrible." they shouted. Cheeky little bastards!

I spent a score on kit kats, curly wurlys, haribous etc, hardly got anything left. Two more knocks and I'll be forced to close shop.

you ok slips?

Yes I'm good thanks B-B, I got back from Portugal with the missus this afternoon. The resort was excellent and we were so lucky with the weather, 24C-27C everyday. We had seafood pretty much every evening that had been caught the same day, so feel suitably chilled out.I hope all is well with you mate.

glad you had a good break it's a nice time of the year to go, we used to go regularly this time of year it gets you ready for xmas. All fine here just counting down the weeks now virtually everything been done that needs to be done.

miserable old buggers on here 

had£10 in change and a tin of roses no knocks yet

I think you have to light a pumpkin or similar  to let the ToT's know  you are open for business

Lights out here too then pick up old girl from station go
get something to eat then back home now.
  All little brats gone to bed

My mate's father didn't like people knocking at the door either. 
He always threatened to take a shovel of red hot coals from the hearth, and throw it over unwelcome people who came knocking on their door.
Trick or treat, carol singers and suchlike.

He never actual saw him do this, but it would certainly have been interesting to watch if he had.
Of course in those days they all had open fires for home heating. So we haven't got the option to do that now

My mates own remedy for unwelcome people who come knocking, is to hot up some penny coins on the hob and push them under the front door.
He says that usually conveys the right message when they attempt to pick them up.

He's a chip off the old block is my mate.

Is it safe to take down the "beware of large dogs " sign from garden gate yet?

I dont mind the trick or treaters, hell I used to do it, sadly tho they all seem to have disappeared from my area, have had 1 knock on the door!!

Beware of the wife might be one to try next year

Laxative chocolate could be good for next year..Buy it on amazon, just pop it in a nice wrapper


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5.0 out of 5 starsClean out... Stay next to the toilet
ByDaniel Wrighton 7 February 2015
Made me s*** myself, thought I was out of the woods after 48hours, don't trust a fart

that would cruel!!

Just had two American kids at door wearing Gloria Gaynor masks,to be honest though..At first i was afraid i was petrified..

I think that it is perfectly legal in this country, as a male, to sport a tumescence when answering the door completely naked in your own home, to unsolicited callers... don't quote me on this but i think it is worth a legal precedent at least.

Always had a tin of chocolates, such as Quality Street, for them to take handfuls, they were the neighbours' kids after all.
They've all gone now, all the neighbourhood kids are Asians who don't do Trick or Treat.

Be careful what you wish for.