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I once sneaked a Pepperami into a Morrissey gig. 
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Blew up a rubber johnny in the Student Union
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I also recently entered Homebase through the Exit door.
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cooperman 19 Sep 16 12:29 Joined: 27 Apr 07 | Topic/replies: 7,092 | Blogger: cooperman's blog
I also recently entered Homebase through the Exit door. I did the same at an Ikea - Anybody who has tried this will know it's not en easy thing to do! |
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you sound like a loose cannon,cooperman.
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Just like living on the edge.
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I had 10 items and used the 9 items or less queue in the supermarket.
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I pointed out the grammatical error in the '9 items of less' sign to the supermarket manager.
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doh...OR less...
If one is going to be a pedant, one needs to get it right! |
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when totally sozzled I once jumped from a roof about 40ft up across a 6ft gap to get into the nurse's home, all was going well as the young nymph helped me through the window. However the frames were the old fashioned metal ones and I never noticed the jagged piece that proceeded to rip the @rse out of my new Levi's. I went and had a look at the jump a few days after and I would never have attempted it sober no matter what delights were on offer.
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Used a pedestrian crossing in West Germany before the light turned green. This genuinely is dangerous, not because of the traffic (there wasn't any), but because of the anger and abuse hurled at you by the squareheads waiting patiently on each pavement for the order permitting them to proceed.
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Zey vur only following orders.
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In Russia, mid 1980s, in a town about 100 miles east of Moscow, sold some old clothes to a local for a few roubles. It was in a car park of a hotel. As I left him, passing through cars, I came across three KGB looking types sitting in a car, as you would imagine them in cold war movies.
They were just 3 blokes minding their own business. Or they were the former, and were just not really interested in western tourists bartering with the locals. Doesn't sound at all scary but I have never sweated so much than when I was walking away from them. |
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I had a Vodka drinking contest with the head of the KGB/FSB one night in a Nightclub in Kazakhstan...
I lost....  |
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Walking along Tiananmen Square in the moonlight around 10 years ago, wondering why the hell I was the only one there in a public square in a city of umpteen million people.
Didn't realise there was a curfew on at the time. Oh how I laughed when two burly fragrant soldiers barked at me, their charming automatic weapons aimed directly at my face. |
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found a faulty hand grenade with corroded trigger in a closet, police were called out after I had walked with it for a few minutes.. eventually left it in the front garden under a pale and kept guard until the police arrived. (In case some kid came by). The police gaffer taped it, they told me the trigger was corroded. but it in a metal box. who keeps a live grenade in the closet? rusting away..
also learned to swim at thirty - that was terrifying for an hour. Then as soon as you let go, you're dying to get back to the next lesson. |
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Took a jaffa cake off my hound once..
I got the use back of my arm about 3 months later.. |
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I went to Warwick races with a mate, I decided to try and save a fiver by going thru the o.a.p. Entrance (£10 instead of £15)
Cheeky cow let me in! |
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Attempted to putt out of a bunker last week
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JBNAY
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I bought a return ticket on the bus and didn`t come back
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Married a nutcase when everyone else begged me not to do it, the journey of life though led me to who I was meant to be with so jobsagoodun, things happen for a reason..
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I like Slippy's post, a bit similar to myself but with more nutcases. Never been married but been with Ms stew 15 years and counting.
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Never been happier in my entire life stewarty b, I met Mrs.Blue, after not seeing her for 26 years.
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It's amazing how things turn out Slippy. I was out on a Saturday night in this pub and when leaving was going to turn left to go to a pub where a few pals drink.
For some unknown reason I decided to turn right. Met Ms stew purely by fate. I genuinely feel truly blessed. God only knows where I would be today if I had stuck to my original plan. |
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Nice story, Stewarty b
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Blimey Slippy... how comes you've never mentioned that on here before?
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business hotel - Darling harbour - Sydney: 5th floor indoor swimming pool- we were on 4th floor next to fire escape- couldnt be asked to change into swimming togs at the pool- so changed in room - slipped out into the fire escape next to our room and strolled up the stairs one floor- to find no outside locks on doors in stairwell.
banged on 4th floor door a few times - Mrs didnt hear me - barefoot with trunks and towel- trotted down stairwell to the fire exit - biggest mass of spiders webs i've ever seen all over the fire escape - kicked the escape latch open - strolled calmly across the entrance to the hotel-told myself I was James Bond - strolled casually across the biggest lobby i've ever seen , conscious of the deafening silence in my wake as various business discussions ceased - waited an eternity for the lift to arrive - 4 occupants got out - 2 women , 2 men - all suited dived into the pool and did a length underwater. |
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Stewarty B do you just deceide what way to turn when you leave your house and boozers
 good style just do what you like |
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Decide*
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dived into the pool and did a length underwater.
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stew b
down the pub with yer mates havin fun ! |
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Pub quiz about eight months back & sent my 14 year old up to get some crisps from the bar, he came back a couple of minutes later all tearful, I eventually got it out of him what was wrong, he was standing behind some bloke who thought he was standing too close & said to him " if you don't stand back I'm going to smash your facking head in "
When he told me I asked who it was & he pointed to a bloke that basically could get a top job at a bouncer at any club, however this was like a red rag to a bull & my son begged me not to go over but by now he was really upset, I went over to him & said very loudly did you say you would smash my boy's face in to which he flatly denied it, I pressed upon him again did you say it, by now the whole pub was listening to my every word he was with a woman & would probably look really bad kicking the sh!t out of some 10 stone bloke so he backed off made some excuse about how he thought my son was hassling him & offered to buy him a drink which I refused, I thought about it afterwards & thought what a d!ckhead ( me not him ) |
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Stewarty B do you just deceide what way to turn when you leave your house and boozers Gringood style just do what you like
I have no idea what changed my mind Chaser. I wasn't boozy I just turned right. I can't explain it. It was in the Grill bar in Aberdeen and I was down in the dumps due to personal matters. Walked into this pub Yates? Anyways it's gone now. It was about 11pm and I noticed these two woman having a drink. I sunk back a few drinks to give me dutch courage and just went up to speak to her. 12pm came and the three of us left together. They turned right and I turned left thinking that was that. I walked about 20 yards and shouted back to them if they fancied a night cap. They had a little con flab and starting walking towards me. Ended up going to 'Charlies' (gone now) and I got the drinks in, two Bacardi Breezers and a pint for myself. After an hour of giving my best patter we ended up having a wee smooch. Her pal who was married looked a tab embarressed as she was expected home by 12.30am. I gave her my phone number and my mobile number, (a freebee I may add from Willy Hills) she phoned the next day and arranged a date the following weekend. Went for a meal and didn't order anything for myself as I had cramps in my stomach due to nerves. I don't think she was best pleased eating on her own but once we left this Italin place we got on like a house on fire. I was loved up after a month and thankfully the saga continues! |
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*Italian
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*tad
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Thanks crags.
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Went to the local Cineplex to see the latest James Bond Movie last year, film ended and was heading down the corridor towards the exit, noticed that the film 12 years a Slave was starting in five minutes in Cinema 2, so went in sat down and watched that as well for free. ....
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