Phrases that make you cringe

In ten years time we will....

... have a cure for cancer?
... have flying cars?

Fresh from CDWM just now....."I'm not a pastry person"....(for "pastry" insert any other product)!

Blah blah blah blah blah to make sure this never happens again....

" If you're caught in the girls changing room again, you'll be expelled".

Up the rectum, don't affect 'em.

'Ahead of' - particularly involving sports events.

They are trying to create a news item from something that hasn't happened yet.

I'm just gonna send a text. (You just know it's gonna take ages!)

Aug 18, 2016 -- 4:06PM, Gallivanter wrote:

@anubis7: There was a time when females "had a period". Now they "have MY period". Be a bit tricky to have somebody else's, wouldn't it?Which leads me nicely into my contribution to the thread: Only women bleed.Eh? Not in my experience.

Indeed,but I was thinking about Americans who finish a sentence with 'period'.

Mine is one word... the next person to finish after the bloke in 5th DID NOT finish 'sickth.'

Aug 18, 2016 -- 7:00PM, Mikael D'Haguenet wrote:

Mine is one word... the next person to finish after the bloke in 5th DID NOT finish 'sickth.'

That's one of the worst, Mikael. When did the ordinal number siXth become "sickth", or even "Sick"? As if commentators and broadcasters were too lazy to pronounce it properly!

"A record that will never be broken"

Are you sure, they look pretty thin to me.

"Here's Kellie Maloney with the weather"

"Now on bbc1, Olympics 2016 with Hazel Irvine"

Aug 17, 2016 -- 7:24PM, themightymac wrote:

After every race in the bookies"I was going to back that".

Or, like I say... I looked at that one

Des Pond 18 Aug 16 19:08 

That's one of the worst, Mikael. When did the ordinal number siXth become "sickth", or even "Sick"? As if commentators and broadcasters were too lazy to pronounce it properly!

I've axed that question before.

'At the end of the day'. You hear so many people use this meaningless expression. It is vacuous. If you start a sentence with that statement, the only thing you could finish it with which would make any sense is '… the day ended' or 'it turned midnight' which would be a tautology but slightly more intelligent than the ways 'At the end of the day' is invariably used.

People who say, 'hashtag amazeballs' or anything else preceded by 'hashtag'.

Actually, add 'amazeballs' as another annoyance, and 'chillax' and any other scoial media-inspired concoction which usually means it is the true mark of a cretin.

Behind the eight ball......
Real quick.... only in america baby
Shoot the breeze .... chit chatters favourite

'AWAY', shouted by defenders during football matches

Very much so ... usually post match interviews with players and managers

game as a pebble

Guys!!

Guys!!!!

Hey, guys!!!

Hippo.

'Very much so' Brilliant Tiger Timmy Henman's expression of choice during Wimbledon fortnight.

There's going to be another Harry Potter book.

nine times out of ten he would have put that one away.

It's a game of two halves.

Before you can withdraw you need photo I.D.

Aug 18, 2016 -- 11:07PM, Gallivanter wrote:

It's a game of two halves.

"It's a funny old game..." is another one as well.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Aks...as in don't aks me.

weapons grade

Excuse me pal.

(Call me mate, whatever, but pal to me sounds very aggressive!)

When people keep saying "basically" or "actually"

bubbly

...interesting to note that people who, purportedly, have 'bubbly' personalities seem to die in large numbers as a result of murder/accidents.

'Listen' - before every sentence is creeping im more and more - annoying 

Spelling words with a HAITCH - ffs

Agreed, coachbuster... also every sentence beginning with 'look' is up there grating on my nerves. Seems to be an Aussie thing.

1. "Would of" when they mean "would have" - and the associated variations.
2. People in shops who call you "mate". I am not your mate, mate, I am your customer.
3. Readjust for adjust.
4. "Ahead of" instead of "before". The BBC seem obsessed by this.
5. Sports commentators who say, e.g. "Leicester can go three points clear at the top of the table if they win tonight" when there are no other games affecting that possibility - no if they win they WILL go three points clearl. Obviously this applied to last season not this.
6.Random used appropriately.

6. Inappropriately ffs!

Aidan O'Brien has to be the king of the 'listen' folk

"Aidan O'Brien has to be the king of the 'listen' folk"

The Irish say it to get your full attention, Australians do it as well but they say 'look'

Aidan O'Brien says 'listen' in nearly every sentence and will say it about 9 or 10 times in any interview (just in case you are not listening !)........ just waiting for him to say "Listen, Listen, Listen....."

How much do you spend a week gambling???

(I occasionally get asked this and can't give a simple answer.)

parispike - several of those annoy me, too.

I'll add "a thing" as used in "When did this become a thing?"

'early doors' - dreadful football cliche that has now extended into the wider lexicon.

'schoolboy error' - ditto

Tanya on C4 Morning Line just used both these expressions in the same sentence

yes johnizere - 'look' is like the annoying brother to 'listen' - could well be an aussie /irish combination as Hound dog points out

People who say -

Wow, just.......... wow

People who say:-

"I WAS LIKE" instead of I said or I replied. Gets right on my (.) (.)

'north of' to describe a figure above a certain amount.
Just say over ffs

People that say things like... "It's been two week now..."

Should be weeks, not week!

Years rendered as e.g. 'Two Thousand  and Sixteen'. FFS -it's Twenty Sixteen' ,as 1916 was 'Nineteen Sixteen' etc. 
Stop spitting out surplus syllables and changing historical practice for no gain.

People saying "Gets on my t1ts" really gets on my t1ts.

Don't look around, but look who's over there

"im a foodie"

translated "im a boring ****"

.... and the one that's been around for many years is:

'at the minute'

NO, NO, NO, it should be 'at the moment'.

islamophobic

and other such made-up words.

"We are experiencing a high volume of calls right now..."

"You are in position FOUR..."

"Please select one of the following options..."

'In and of itself' what's the 'and of' for?

'The overnight period' weathergirls, particularly Lear, you know who you are

'onwards and upwards' - pointless expression often used by the C4 presenter conducting a post-race interview with the winning jockey - itself a banal exercise.

That's what I'm talkin' about (USA) ...... when someone does something
Good job (USA) .... when someone does something
I hear what you're saying ..... shut up, you opinion is not required

My bad

I say good job to my son and he says my bad too

^ The long winter nights must just fly by '

1. Anyone who describes themselves as "what you see is what you get", guaranteed to be a total cuunt.

2. "I'll do what I want, it's a free country", don't even know where to start with this one.

3. Anybody putting the word "gate" after some trival piece of news.

4. A British player scores a great goal, and the commentators/studio guests then spend half an hour raving about it, then utter that phrase "if he was Brazilian, we'd be raving about it".....you have been raving about it, you utter f'cking cretins. For half an hour. Drives me f'cking mad that one.

let's touch base

Wife to husband, "I was doing some spring-cleaning and I thought I'd tidy up your desk drawers for you..."

people who type 'teh'.

People who reply "I am good" when asked how they are.

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Any newscaster who opines "My colleague"

Another fecking Americanism..

Are you on Facebook?


(I ran into somebody I hadn't seen for years, and this was one of the first questions he asked me!)

"He has went" replacing "He has gone"
"He has did" replacing "He has done"
And the now ubiquitous " He has took" when it should be "He has taken"

Biggest culprit is otherwise excellent presenter Colin Murray whose English teacher must cry himself to sleep

Conversely I quite like "She turned around and said..."

A recent cooler-than-thou offhanded way of avoiding difficult explanations that's permeating the internet is "Because one-word-no-explanation", i.e

Independence Day is a great film where aliens invade Earth because reasons.

And they all end up dead because vampires

etc etc

It was OK for 10 minutes. Anyone still using it must dies because .unt.

"you cant win the match/tournament in the first half/set/round but you can certainly lose it", palpable nonsense used by commentators on most sports.

Just seen this thread and immediately thought of "I'm not being funny" and ironically it is the first one the OP mentions - Great minds and all that...

One that kills me is the term 'bruv' said by some of my old mates in their 50's. I can handle it from an under 40 or even more from an under 30 but come on 50+ year olds, bruv sounds so childish from this age group (imo)

It'll only take you a minute.

Putting the ducks in a row
Taking the helicopter view on this

that will learn you (rather than that will teach you)

what could go wrong?


they build nuclear power stations with 100 safe guards.
Still fks up?

when building a powerstation they need to dig down 400 feet and concrete
a huge basin before they begin?

'Lessons have been learnt. This must never happen again'.

But of course it does.

let's redo Brexit vote? By lord owen

Been discussed now on c4 news

As if the food wasn't bad enough, I hate hearing a McDonald's meal being called a Mackie Ds

Not sure that's grammatically correct

He covered every blade of grass

When people say they have a PASSION for something, which you usually hear on the telly on any given day : "I have a passion for cooking..." or "You clearly have a passion for property development..."

FFS - give it a rest.

"You clearly have a passion for snorting insect repellant."

Had a boss who only spoke in what is called 'business speak'.
Clear blue sky, all singing from the same hymn sheet and a few dozen more.
His worst though was when he gathered us all in for a meeting to "Make sure we're all climbing the same building".

Passionate Sevco fan

Heard a good joke today Vel.
Whats the difference between a proddy sermon and a cafflic sermon?

Erm.........one point with a game in hand...?

Remember "Keep Believing"? Of course you do. That'll haunt you forever and a day.
Was the Dubs that gave us our inspiration that day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTmFXnWAy4w

Whit a dirge!

Ronnie at his best. Not the same without him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JrG95HhL2k

Connolly tells a great story about Barney.
Connolly phoned him from Glasgow.
After about 30 minutes Barney said he'd need to go before the shops shut but added "Can I get you anything".

Aka, you need to discover newer, hip moozik like TAME IMPALA!

As the great Rab C once said "Music to slaughter pigs by".

Another one I listen to. Eric bogle.
Emigrated to Australia in the 60s or 70s from the borders.
Clever song writer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxkhBvO8_kM

Tame Impala's main dude, KEVIN PARKER - you could imagine him playing in the Sevco midfield with a name like that...and he looks like Marco Negri...if Mr.Warburton AKA Eat-the-breed signed 11 random buskers in the street he might improve yer team...

Tame Impala are an Aussie band...

We thought it was all over that day. So until the fat lady does her bit.

Public school t.w.@ at work instead of saying "this work is urgent" says "this work is on the critical path"

He / She 'medaled' in the last olympics, world championships etc. Aaaagh!!!

You mean she/he had a ' podium finish'?