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Mr Eboue
17 Aug 16 19:16
Date Joined: 15 Sep 09
| Topic/replies: 26,470 | Blogger: Mr Eboue's blog
1) I'm not being funny but.....

2) I'm not going to lie......

The second one particularly gets right on my nerves.
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Report zorrostrikes August 18, 2016 4:30 PM BST
In ten years time we will....

... have a cure for cancer?
... have flying cars?
Report Aunty Post August 18, 2016 5:18 PM BST
Fresh from CDWM just now....."I'm not a pastry person"....(for "pastry" insert any other product)!
Report Aunty Post August 18, 2016 5:20 PM BST
Blah blah blah blah blah to make sure this never happens again....
Report cooperman August 18, 2016 5:29 PM BST
" If you're caught in the girls changing room again, you'll be expelled". BlushBlushBlushMischief
Report s.kenbo August 18, 2016 5:42 PM BST
Up the rectum, don't affect 'em.
Report Jack Hacksaw August 18, 2016 6:22 PM BST
'Ahead of' - particularly involving sports events.

They are trying to create a news item from something that hasn't happened yet.
Report sheppy123 August 18, 2016 6:31 PM BST
I'm just gonna send a text. (You just know it's gonna take ages!)
Report anubis7 August 18, 2016 6:51 PM BST

Aug 18, 2016 -- 10:06AM, Gallivanter wrote:

@anubis7: There was a time when females "had a period". Now they "have MY period". Be a bit tricky to have somebody else's, wouldn't it?Which leads me nicely into my contribution to the thread: Only women bleed.Eh? Not in my experience.

Indeed,but I was thinking about Americans who finish a sentence with 'period'.

Report Mikael D'Haguenet August 18, 2016 7:00 PM BST
Mine is one word... the next person to finish after the bloke in 5th DID NOT finish 'sickth.'
Report Des Pond August 18, 2016 7:08 PM BST

Aug 18, 2016 -- 1:00PM, Mikael D'Haguenet wrote:

Mine is one word... the next person to finish after the bloke in 5th DID NOT finish 'sickth.'

That's one of the worst, Mikael. When did the ordinal number siXth become "sickth", or even "Sick"? As if commentators and broadcasters were too lazy to pronounce it properly!

Report MC Roller August 18, 2016 7:18 PM BST
"A record that will never be broken"

Are you sure, they look pretty thin to me.

"Here's Kellie Maloney with the weather"

"Now on bbc1, Olympics 2016 with Hazel Irvine"
Report crags August 18, 2016 7:32 PM BST

Aug 17, 2016 -- 1:24PM, themightymac wrote:

After every race in the bookies"I was going to back that".

Or, like I say... I looked at that one Blush

Report Gallivanter August 18, 2016 7:49 PM BST
Des Pond 18 Aug 16 19:08 

That's one of the worst, Mikael. When did the ordinal number siXth become "sickth", or even "Sick"? As if commentators and broadcasters were too lazy to pronounce it properly!

I've axed that question before.
Report johnnyrant August 18, 2016 8:02 PM BST
'At the end of the day'. You hear so many people use this meaningless expression. It is vacuous. If you start a sentence with that statement, the only thing you could finish it with which would make any sense is '… the day ended' or 'it turned midnight' which would be a tautology but slightly more intelligent than the ways 'At the end of the day' is invariably used.

People who say, 'hashtag amazeballs' or anything else preceded by 'hashtag'.

Actually, add 'amazeballs' as another annoyance, and 'chillax' and any other scoial media-inspired concoction which usually means it is the true mark of a cretin.
Report tictacman1 August 18, 2016 8:02 PM BST
Behind the eight ball......
Real quick.... only in america baby
Shoot the breeze .... chit chatters favourite
Report stickyvicky August 18, 2016 8:17 PM BST
'AWAY', shouted by defenders during football matches
Report LumpOn Dick August 18, 2016 8:39 PM BST
Very much so ... usually post match interviews with players and managers
Report Lee Ho Fooks August 18, 2016 8:47 PM BST
game as a pebbleAngry
Report BennyBinion1 August 18, 2016 8:52 PM BST


Hey, guys!!!
Report EvgenyKissin August 18, 2016 9:18 PM BST
Report johnnyrant August 18, 2016 9:31 PM BST
'Very much so' Brilliant Laugh Tiger Timmy Henman's expression of choice during Wimbledon fortnight.
Report sheppy123 August 18, 2016 10:10 PM BST
There's going to be another Harry Potter book.
Report brassneck August 18, 2016 10:24 PM BST
nine times out of ten he would have put that one away.
Report Gallivanter August 18, 2016 11:07 PM BST
It's a game of two halves.
Report sheppy123 August 19, 2016 10:30 AM BST
Before you can withdraw you need photo I.D.
Report echobelly August 19, 2016 10:41 AM BST

Aug 18, 2016 -- 5:07PM, Gallivanter wrote:

It's a game of two halves.

"It's a funny old game..." is another one as well.

Report cdog August 19, 2016 10:46 AM BST
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Report leazes67 August 19, 2016 10:48 AM BST in don't aks me.
Report unitedbiscuits August 19, 2016 11:22 AM BST
weapons grade
Report sheppy123 August 19, 2016 11:56 AM BST
Excuse me pal.

(Call me mate, whatever, but pal to me sounds very aggressive!)
Report Hound-Dog-2 August 19, 2016 12:02 PM BST
When people keep saying "basically" or "actually"
Report Vubiant August 19, 2016 12:07 PM BST

...interesting to note that people who, purportedly, have 'bubbly' personalities seem to die in large numbers as a result of murder/accidents.
Report Coachbuster August 19, 2016 12:15 PM BST
'Listen' - before every sentence is creeping im more and more - annoying  Surprised
Report mini me August 19, 2016 12:22 PM BST
Spelling words with a HAITCH - ffs
Report johnizere August 19, 2016 12:37 PM BST
Agreed, coachbuster... also every sentence beginning with 'look' is up there grating on my nerves. Seems to be an Aussie thing.
Report parispike August 19, 2016 12:53 PM BST
1. "Would of" when they mean "would have" - and the associated variations.
2. People in shops who call you "mate". I am not your mate, mate, I am your customer.
3. Readjust for adjust.
4. "Ahead of" instead of "before". The BBC seem obsessed by this.
5. Sports commentators who say, e.g. "Leicester can go three points clear at the top of the table if they win tonight" when there are no other games affecting that possibility - no if they win they WILL go three points clearl. Obviously this applied to last season not this.
6.Random used appropriately.
Report parispike August 19, 2016 12:54 PM BST
6. Inappropriately ffs!
Report mini me August 19, 2016 12:54 PM BST
Aidan O'Brien has to be the king of the 'listen' folk
Report Hound-Dog-2 August 19, 2016 1:14 PM BST
"Aidan O'Brien has to be the king of the 'listen' folk"

The Irish say it to get your full attention, Australians do it as well but they say 'look'

Aidan O'Brien says 'listen' in nearly every sentence and will say it about 9 or 10 times in any interview (just in case you are not listening !)........ just waiting for him to say "Listen, Listen, Listen....."
Report sheppy123 August 19, 2016 1:50 PM BST
How much do you spend a week gambling???

(I occasionally get asked this and can't give a simple answer.)
Report Muntz Street August 19, 2016 5:27 PM BST
parispike - several of those annoy me, too.

I'll add "a thing" as used in "When did this become a thing?"
Report johnnyrant August 20, 2016 9:47 AM BST
'early doors' - dreadful football cliche that has now extended into the wider lexicon.

'schoolboy error' - ditto

Tanya on C4 Morning Line just used both these expressions in the same sentence Whoops
Report Coachbuster August 20, 2016 5:20 PM BST
yes johnizere - 'look' is like the annoying brother to 'listen' - could well be an aussie /irish combination as Hound dog points out
Report Gin August 20, 2016 5:41 PM BST
People who say -

Wow, just.......... wow
Report Anybody help August 20, 2016 8:25 PM BST
People who say:-

"I WAS LIKE" instead of I said or I replied. Gets right on my (.) (.)
Report Magnusthepassenger August 20, 2016 9:15 PM BST
'north of' to describe a figure above a certain amount.
Just say over ffs
Report sheppy123 August 20, 2016 10:09 PM BST
People that say things like... "It's been two week now..."

Should be weeks, not week!
Report Vubiant August 20, 2016 10:21 PM BST
Years rendered as e.g. 'Two Thousand  and Sixteen'. FFS -it's Twenty Sixteen' ,as 1916 was 'Nineteen Sixteen' etc. 
Stop spitting out surplus syllables and changing historical practice for no gain.
Report Clouseau August 20, 2016 10:35 PM BST
People saying "Gets on my t1ts" really gets on my t1ts.
Report dopeyone August 20, 2016 10:49 PM BST
Don't look around, but look who's over there
Report Hamsterdam August 20, 2016 11:01 PM BST
"im a foodie"

translated "im a boring ****"
Report mokegibboni August 20, 2016 11:33 PM BST
.... and the one that's been around for many years is:

'at the minute'

NO, NO, NO, it should be 'at the moment'.
Report Platini August 20, 2016 11:33 PM BST

and other such made-up words.
Report sheppy123 August 21, 2016 8:20 AM BST
"We are experiencing a high volume of calls right now..."

"You are in position FOUR..."

"Please select one of the following options..."
Report rubhahunish August 21, 2016 8:43 AM BST
'In and of itself' what's the 'and of' for?

'The overnight period' weathergirls, particularly Lear, you know who you are
Report johnnyrant August 21, 2016 11:17 AM BST
'onwards and upwards' - pointless expression often used by the C4 presenter conducting a post-race interview with the winning jockey - itself a banal exercise.
Report kincsem August 21, 2016 1:02 PM BST
That's what I'm talkin' about (USA) ...... when someone does something
Good job (USA) .... when someone does something
I hear what you're saying ..... shut up, you opinion is not required
Report Makybe_Diva August 22, 2016 8:23 PM BST
My bad Angry
Report Hank Hill August 22, 2016 10:32 PM BST
I say good job to my son and he says my bad too Cry
Report Facts August 22, 2016 10:46 PM BST
^ The long winter nights must just fly by '
Report Fabulous August 22, 2016 11:08 PM BST
1. Anyone who describes themselves as "what you see is what you get", guaranteed to be a total cuunt.

2. "I'll do what I want, it's a free country", don't even know where to start with this one.

3. Anybody putting the word "gate" after some trival piece of news.

4. A British player scores a great goal, and the commentators/studio guests then spend half an hour raving about it, then utter that phrase "if he was Brazilian, we'd be raving about it" have been raving about it, you utter f'cking cretins. For half an hour. Drives me f'cking mad that one.
Report crags August 22, 2016 11:11 PM BST
let's touch base
Report Clouseau August 23, 2016 7:36 AM BST
Wife to husband, "I was doing some spring-cleaning and I thought I'd tidy up your desk drawers for you..."

Report TheBetterBettor August 23, 2016 8:48 AM BST
people who type 'teh'.
Report Muntz Street August 23, 2016 9:18 AM BST
People who reply "I am good" when asked how they are.
Report mini me August 23, 2016 12:59 PM BST

Heads up – there’s going to be some website maintenance happening on Thursday morning.

This means that between 08:00 and 09:00 BST, all products will be unavailable.

Apologies in advance for any inconvenience this may cause.
Report guinness2dear August 23, 2016 1:03 PM BST
Any newscaster who opines "My colleague"

Another fecking Americanism..
Report sheppy123 August 23, 2016 1:21 PM BST
Are you on Facebook?

(I ran into somebody I hadn't seen for years, and this was one of the first questions he asked me!)
Report li August 23, 2016 2:21 PM BST
"He has went" replacing "He has gone"
"He has did" replacing "He has done"
And the now ubiquitous " He has took" when it should be "He has taken"

Biggest culprit is otherwise excellent presenter Colin Murray whose English teacher must cry himself to sleep

Conversely I quite like "She turned around and said..."
Report Ken Masters August 23, 2016 2:39 PM BST
A recent cooler-than-thou offhanded way of avoiding difficult explanations that's permeating the internet is "Because one-word-no-explanation", i.e

Independence Day is a great film where aliens invade Earth because reasons.

And they all end up dead because vampires

etc etc

It was OK for 10 minutes. Anyone still using it must dies because .unt.
Report BARROWBOY August 23, 2016 3:50 PM BST
"you cant win the match/tournament in the first half/set/round but you can certainly lose it", palpable nonsense used by commentators on most sports.
Report Aspro August 23, 2016 4:54 PM BST
Just seen this thread and immediately thought of "I'm not being funny" and ironically it is the first one the OP mentions - Great minds and all that...

One that kills me is the term 'bruv' said by some of my old mates in their 50's. I can handle it from an under 40 or even more from an under 30 but come on 50+ year olds, bruv sounds so childish from this age group (imo)
Report zorrostrikes August 23, 2016 7:29 PM BST
It'll only take you a minute.
Report Stow_judge August 24, 2016 12:29 PM BST
Putting the ducks in a row
Taking the helicopter view on this
Report Stow_judge August 24, 2016 12:30 PM BST
that will learn you (rather than that will teach you)
Report zorrostrikes August 24, 2016 1:31 PM BST
what could go wrong?

they build nuclear power stations with 100 safe guards.
Still fks up?

when building a powerstation they need to dig down 400 feet and concrete
a huge basin before they begin?
Report lovegod August 24, 2016 5:02 PM BST
'Lessons have been learnt. This must never happen again'.

But of course it does.
Report zorrostrikes August 24, 2016 7:37 PM BST
let's redo Brexit vote? By lord owen
Report crags August 24, 2016 7:42 PM BST
Been discussed now on c4 news
Report Makybe_Diva August 27, 2016 7:15 PM BST
As if the food wasn't bad enough, I hate hearing a McDonald's meal being called a Mackie Ds Angry
Report Makybe_Diva August 27, 2016 7:16 PM BST
Not sure that's grammatically correct Confused
Report wit-ham August 27, 2016 7:26 PM BST
He covered every blade of grass
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 9:14 PM BST
When people say they have a PASSION for something, which you usually hear on the telly on any given day : "I have a passion for cooking..." or "You clearly have a passion for property development..."

FFS - give it a rest.

"You clearly have a passion for snorting insect repellant." Cry
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:20 PM BST
Had a boss who only spoke in what is called 'business speak'.
Clear blue sky, all singing from the same hymn sheet and a few dozen more.
His worst though was when he gathered us all in for a meeting to "Make sure we're all climbing the same building".
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 9:22 PM BST
Passionate Sevco fan Cry
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:25 PM BST
Heard a good joke today Vel.
Whats the difference between a proddy sermon and a cafflic sermon?
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 9:30 PM BST point with a game in hand...? Excited
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:38 PM BST
Remember "Keep Believing"? Of course you do. That'll haunt you forever and a day.
Was the Dubs Love that gave us our inspiration that day.
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 9:40 PM BST
Whit a dirge! Grin
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:48 PM BST
Ronnie at his best. Not the same without him.
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:51 PM BST
Connolly tells a great story about Barney.
Connolly phoned him from Glasgow.
After about 30 minutes Barney said he'd need to go before the shops shut but added "Can I get you anything". Laugh
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 9:53 PM BST
Aka, you need to discover newer, hip moozik like TAME IMPALA! Cool
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:56 PM BST
As the great Rab C once said "Music to slaughter pigs by".
Report akabula August 27, 2016 9:59 PM BST
Another one I listen to. Eric bogle.
Emigrated to Australia in the 60s or 70s from the borders.
Clever song writer.
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 10:01 PM BST
Tame Impala's main dude, KEVIN PARKER - you could imagine him playing in the Sevco midfield with a name like that...and he looks like Marco Negri...if Mr.Warburton AKA Eat-the-breed signed 11 random buskers in the street he might improve yer team...
Report Velasquez August 27, 2016 10:02 PM BST
Tame Impala are an Aussie band...
Report akabula August 27, 2016 10:03 PM BST
We thought it was all over that day. So until the fat lady does her bit.

Report rob_dylan August 27, 2016 10:03 PM BST
Public school t.w.@ at work instead of saying "this work is urgent" says "this work is on the critical path"
Report stickyvicky September 7, 2016 11:37 PM BST
He / She 'medaled' in the last olympics, world championships etc. Aaaagh!!!
Report Vubiant September 8, 2016 12:20 AM BST
You mean she/he had a ' podium finish'?Grin
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