Finding skids in your wife's knickers

Thought this was going to be a thread about a woman having an affair with an ageing rock star.

Why,   Did you think she didnt poop ?

He did, but he didn't think she hand't discovered how to use toilet paper properly

To douche or not to douche, that is the question .

Then again maybe it was a chocolate finger that she hid and forgot about.

This disease is cat skin.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUSxNaCIWak

Make my hay 30 Apr 16 19:19 Joined: 30 Mar 05 | Topic/replies: 7,631 | Blogger: Make my hay's blog
This disease is cat skin.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUSxNaCIWak

put them on ebay and youll have plenty of weirdos bidding on them

sounds like you have a  front wiper

This is appalling. Unfounded accusations like this lead to the ruination of what would otherwise be perfectly sound relations. Tread carefully. It appears you have no corroborative evidence of any sort. This could be a perfectly innocent substance which has found it's way on to the said item of clothing.

If you can't afford to send it away for forensic analysis then the very least you can do is give them a good licking if not a damned good chewing to ascertain if your theory holds any water at all.

To kill two birds with one stone if you do have a particularly refined palate you might also want to see if you can detect the distinct aroma and taste of spooge for good measure and if you are good at multi tasking keep your eye out for stray foreign pubes as you are noshing.

I'm available for private consultations if you require any further assistance.

If she was a punk band groupie, this story could have had a very different direction.

"Putting the washing in the washing machine and saw a brown stain about the size of a cadbury's chocolate finger in the wife's undies. I gagged."

I nearly gagged as well. A man doing washing. Ffs.

I don't mind emptying the bin and doing the gardening and recycling but draw the line at doing the washing, anyway she won't let me near the washing machine and quite rightly so.

I don't mind emptying the bin and doing the gardening and recycling but draw the line at doing the washing, anyway she won't let me near the washing machine and quite rightly so.

Who did your washing before you met miss wonderful, Slippy?

Eeternaloptimist  30 Apr 16 20:25 
This is appalling. Unfounded accusations like this lead to the ruination of what would otherwise be perfectly sound relations. Tread carefully.

Indeed. Especially if she ever leaves her knickers on the floor.

The cleaner crags, think Belinda Carlisle in her pomp, that is Mrs.Blue.

Wasn't it The Skids who sang Into The Valley?

Given the circumstances of the case..........................

You lucky fella Slippy. Belinda Carlisle was a real beauty in her younger days. I'd have happily taken her to a Berni Inn as Del Boy would have said.

sure annie will sort out yer smalls crags

No need to be so personal there Capt. It may be small but I'm sure it's perfectly formed. For an acorn.

Still laughing 

I see you two guys have ganged up

Come on in the water's lovely crags.

Not even dipping a toe in, thanks anyway.

You've got a friend for life with dave now, EO, he laughs at all your quips.

You've either got it or you haven't crags. Life can be so unfair. I just wish that I could experience life for one day as an ordinary man. Being exceptional can be such a chore.

Anyway if you change your mind I promise no floaters.

Not from me anyway.

A bit too much, which is a bit of a giveaway. Still, as long as you're both happy

Just to say I laughed at the acorn joke because it was about crags, my adversary.  But if you have a little willy, it is really not that important to women.  Give me a MAN, even with a little willy and I am happy.

You do talk some shyte, dave, thought you wanted to be alone? But that's just to put people off from meeting you, is it not?

Good luck in whatever it is you are trying to achieve on here.

You misinterpreted the post, as usual, crags.  MAN was in capitals to denote that  I meant an exceptional man, not just any man.

I am a woman and as such men are two a penny, even at my age. I don't kid myself though that  they are interested in me as a person, lol

I am not trying to achieve anything, crags.

I am just posting on chit chat, like lots of others - including you.  However, unlike the rest of chit chat I cannot do it in peace because of you.  Please leave me alone.

Can't think of any 'normal' women who would keep stating "I am a woman"

That lol thing is new for you isn't it? I may have got that wrong though, lol.

Anyway, don't know why I waste so much time on you. Maybe I am hoping that you really are a woman who loves gambling and sex with men and women, maybe animals as well? Woof, woof x

Goodnight, dave.

Crags, I think it's because you need a women

You're coming across as quite the bully crags. Even assuming you're right annie or Dave or whoever the hell she/he is has the right to post whatever they want in whatever fashion they want without your antics.

Eeternaloptimist    01 May 16 01:54 
annie or Dave or whoever the hell she/he is has the right to post whatever they want in whatever fashion they want.

Although massively abridged in my quote of EO, i agree whole-heartedly.
However, I'm off to Totnes to seek out my own truth.
If an old pal "H" can come along then all the better.

FWIW I've always found annie's posts to be of the feminine kind

Have you explored the possibility that the skid marks appeared whilst YOU were wearing the panties.

Richard Jobson -into the ?valley

Over 800 views in around 24 hours.

Could this most interesting thread on an important subject-matter yet save the moribund Chit Chat ?

^^^ to Chit-Chat's shame mumsnet well ahead of the game on this topic...
.
http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/general-coffeehouse-chat-514/wine-bar-494/779527-why-do-men-get-skidmarks-but-not-ladies-all.html

Disgusted at the women on mumsnet. Wouldn't be my choice of conversation.

I've been married 20 something years. My wife has never farted in front of me,if at all,in all that time. Or burped or as I prefer to say 'belched'. Nor have I ever known her to have a sh1t. Fair dinkum she must creep out at 3am and take a dump then. My Mum was the same. I never knew Mum to go to the toot for a #2. I'm backin''em out constantly and announcing it to everyone but for them it's a big secret.

I remember when my mother let a trump slip.
I was 12 and it was the day I stopped loving her

Don't blame you.

just in case my mother learns what a computer is, understands the internet and finds betfair.....
It was a joke mother

I remember the day my mother said the F word. It was the first and only I ever heard her say it.

I suppose she had good reason considering what had happened but I was shocked to the core.

Dusty, I am your Mother

May 1, 2016 -- 1:54AM, Eeternaloptimist wrote:

You're coming across as quite the bully crags. Even assuming you're right annie or Dave or whoever the hell she/he is has the right to post whatever they want in whatever fashion they want without your antics.

You seem to have contradicted yourself there!

Kind regards

I'm only a casual observer here but I'm with Eternal on this.

Explained the message at a level someone can't understand? Frequently. Contradicted myself? Perish the thought.

But just for you seeing as I like you so much liberty does not grant you the right to take a pi55 down my leg.

It's a joke for crags but like Mrs Merton it kinda wears thin when told for the umpteenth time.

But you are right Eeter, it is bullying.

Some people would pay good money to find a turd in their partners drawers. Swings and roundabouts.

Thanks, Gnarley, Aspro, akabula, ET, KAMIKAZEE 

You're quite welcome annie.

Us fragrant and sensitive flowers only really thrive with warmth.

This thread is like the matrix and I wont believe it.
You telling me women fart and poop stink?
Nah
Ive seen the extent they go to to show they never do any of that, it must all be a lie.

Working for the Wan kee dollar