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Through my European contacts I have learned that the European Commission will soon announce a sweetener that English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations the British will concede that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that will be known as "Euro-English."
In the first year "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump for joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards can have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yar ze unesesary "o" can be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali **** tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations the British will concede that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that will be known as "Euro-English."
In the first year "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump for joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards can have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yar ze unesesary "o" can be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali **** tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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