Big time visitors to the UK

Do you like it when the world's big cheeses visit the UK to press the flesh and rouse us.

Do you also remember the poll favouring Scotland leaving the Union a couple of weeks before the big vote, which resulted in every grandee since Thatcher flying north to publicly state their view.

So here's what chit chatters need to do - just tell the pollsters you want to leave the EU regardless of whether you want to. We can then expect visits from the Pope, Sophia Loren, Penelope Cruz, Thierry Henry, Bernhard Langer, those sexy French newsreaders, the guys that fiddled the emission tests, a Wankel engine, a container of German wine, Cicciolina and the ghosts of Attila the Hun and Konrad Adenauer to visit this sceptred isle. It'll be like a star-studded Olympic opening ceremony all over again.

And best of all, it will keep Tony Blair off the telly.