Chit Chat
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I became cavalier and careless, and, anyway - let me set the scene ...
4 years ago I bought £30 Phillips Hairdressing Shears fro Amazon and have done my own since (I hate going to have my hair cut and I hate even more having to pay £20 to be tortured). Started cautiously and it used to take me ages - but ok results and Mrs mememe impressed. Got better and better and slightly more adventurous, with very passable reults.
Then, this morning DISASTER. I had given myself a pre-Christmas tidy up, but wasn't too happy, so I planned to take a bit more off after the hols.
This morning I prepared myself mentally (a bit like them high divers do before taking the plunge) stood in the shower cubicle, shearer in hand (no, not Alan Shearer before some chit chat wag responds) - I cut my hair in the shower cubicle so that Mrs mememe doesn't shout about hair being all over the place - buzzzz and a clump of hair falls to the floor. Fookin hell, I thought, that's a lot of hair - and it was. Gulp. The shearer has a guard that stops you cutting your hair too short (supposedly). Never happened before - just carelessness. I think I've recovered the situation and should be able to go out with Mrs mememe for Valentine's Day meal, just not yet.
4 years ago I bought £30 Phillips Hairdressing Shears fro Amazon and have done my own since (I hate going to have my hair cut and I hate even more having to pay £20 to be tortured). Started cautiously and it used to take me ages - but ok results and Mrs mememe impressed. Got better and better and slightly more adventurous, with very passable reults.
Then, this morning DISASTER. I had given myself a pre-Christmas tidy up, but wasn't too happy, so I planned to take a bit more off after the hols.
This morning I prepared myself mentally (a bit like them high divers do before taking the plunge) stood in the shower cubicle, shearer in hand (no, not Alan Shearer before some chit chat wag responds) - I cut my hair in the shower cubicle so that Mrs mememe doesn't shout about hair being all over the place - buzzzz and a clump of hair falls to the floor. Fookin hell, I thought, that's a lot of hair - and it was. Gulp. The shearer has a guard that stops you cutting your hair too short (supposedly). Never happened before - just carelessness. I think I've recovered the situation and should be able to go out with Mrs mememe for Valentine's Day meal, just not yet.
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The first cut is the deepest
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Yes, indeedy Crisp ... and you can't stick it back on
 I'll just tell my daughters' that it's the new retro punk look |
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Lol... I do mine with clippers, beard too. The lot off every 3 or so days. It will grow back pal.
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Thinly disguised, "I'm not bald" thread.
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Mememe yesterday:
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Kenny,
No, not bald ... but a lot balder than yesterday ... I call it the tufty look  |
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lol, hair today gone tomorrow.
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I bumped into a pal of mine one day in the supermarket, and he looked like something off Schindler's List.
So I said very quietly so as not to embarrass him in front of everybody '' WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR!'' He'd said he'd started to cut it without the hair length thing on and gone straight back to his scalp, so he had to cut it all off to match. |
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Started cutting my own hair about 10 years ago. Used to do it every 6 weeks then every month now every 2 weeks. Should be doing it every week but can't be arsed.
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lol I do my own too. One of my fears is the guard will fall off and I'll look like one of the Mitchell brothers
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I was revenged for shaving my mates eyebrow off in my early 20's by having a band about two inches wide shaved from ear to ear over the top of my head one night after a drunken escapade. What can you do? I shaved the rest off and quite liked it given I was so handsome.
I've just kept it shaved close for the last 25 years and never bothered with a hairdresser asking me where I'm going on holiday. |
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I think the lasses at Uni thought I was a bit of rough and seemed to enjoy giving the stubble a bit of a rub. Never refuse any reasonable requests.
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mememe you dopey imbecille!!! imagine....................................
Doing what I did 3 months ago, except I was even worse, I had cut mine then noticed a bit long at the back and ran the clippers up the back all the way to my forehead, and had forgotten I had removed the guard to clean the trimmers to put it back in it's case. What a dopey plank.  I had a fckin reverse Mohican!!! it nearly grown back another 3/4 weeks will do it, btw the sides grow really quickly and have been trimmed this week without mishap, the already thinning top taking much longer. Happy New Year.  |
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Forgot to say I had to take the lot off.
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A real man would use a pair of Nicky Clarke scissors and a mirror.
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Boxing ... happy new year to you too!
In all my life, I can't remember a more heart-stopping moment than when with my first swoop a big pile of hair - my hair -fell on the floor. I felt sick ... what should I do? No choice ... plough on ... and stay in for 3 weeks! The mad thing is - when you've done it, it stays done . A bit like losing your viginity ... it can't be undone. |
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A real man uses a razor.
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Yes the sick feeling sounds too familiar. Baseball caps have been my friends since then.
 just got to the point where wearing them is optional. |
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Hey EO you handsome (apparently) bugger. HNY.
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And to you sir. May the fruits of your loin continue to spring forth like East German long jumpers.
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The memories are flooding back . |
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Cutting his own hair hasn't done Boris Johnson any harm.
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 I assume things have moved on since the Ronco hair trimmer, which was basically a razor blade in a comb! |
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Does the Mrs ever use it for a Tidy Up ?
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she uses the Remington Fuzzaway Turbo
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noticed a bit long at the back and ran the clippers up the back all the way to my forehead
That's known as a "Reversed Mohican"....becoming even more popular at the mo! |
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Update ...
Showered this morning and hair not grown much on the side that's been intimate with the shears! Got a golf club dinner tomorrow night (yes, I know, thinly veiled etc, etc) ... my conundrum is this ... golf caps, hats whatever are not allowed to be worn in the club house, but there are no rules about the dining room. So should I wear my bobble hat (it's got no bobble, btw) or a baseball cap or should I wear something stiking and, well, a bit racy, such as a fedora ... a la Malcolm Allison? |
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Shave it all off and wear a sign saying "NITS" !
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mememe....I don't think that the headwear issue applies to kitchen staff and servers....
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All you do it walk in there shouting "who sliced the ball off the tee on hole 4" and then point to the missing hair.
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First thing you should do is ring Trading Standards. Imagine being sold a bobble hat and taking it home only discover it's got no bobble.
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He cut it long he cut it short - cut it with a knife and fork.
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DR C, that brings back some memories.
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Thanks to you all for the helpful suggestions ...
The NITS one is not a bad idea and got me thinking Maybe I should get a red marker pen and put lots of red dots on the side of my head. I'll get one of 2 reactions: 1. sympathy and free drinks, OR 2. a table all to myself (with Mrs mememe) |
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Avoid the red marker at all costs!!, just for a couple of months become a pretendy Sikh
or a Jew and wear a Yarmulke/kippah, or a Rasta, your missus wouldn't need a handbag, as everything can fit where the dred's normally go. I've got a nice baseball cap you can have. |
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just been reading a thread about 2 chimpanzees that were stuck in an horrible zoo in Germany and then were liberated to Wales (??) - prob better off in zoo - put up by kenny mann ... scared me
In these miserable conditions, the intelligent animals could not fulfil their natural urges to exercise and play. They became overweight because visitors fed them popcorn and biscuits and threw sweets at them. Unsurprisingly, they were deeply depressed, constantly plucking out their own body hair – a recognisable sign of mental distress in primates. I didn't think I was that depressed, just a bit sad now that Christmas is over - and thought that I'd just tidy up my hair - well that's what I thought I was doing! |
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I've forgotten the cutter guard twice in the past!
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