great one liner joke

That's four lines and still cr@p!

lol

What would happen if you poured self-raising flour on an orphan?

He would raise himself!

Best I can think of rtb....

Went to the shop today and asked the girl behind the counter for some haemorrhoid cream and some lager.
'Red Stripe?' she asked, handing me a tube of Anusol.
'Sometimes', I replied. 'Now what types of lager have you got?'

joke not funny but laughed at Anusol,

either a lack of imagination or a good sense of humour from some big pharma focus group

I am good looking , I ogle at every female

this thread could do with a zinger

I can't believe I got the sack from the Calendar Factory, all I did was take a day off.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad; not crying and screaming like his passengers.

I'm still having sex at 66, well I only live at 64 so it's handy.

BIG BOB monkhouse fan was u?

I've grown to hate low ceilings

I like that Roger, will pop it in my memory bank.

The Bob Monkhouse classic. "People laughed when I told them I wanted to be a comedian, well they're not laughing now".

I can tell you now with my hand on my heart - I have no ribs

Bought some condoms today

The checkout girl put them in a 'Bag For Life'

Officer, two women are fighting over me.’ ‘What’s wrong with that?’ ‘The big, fat, ugly one is winning’

An unmarried mother has given birth to piglets. The Child Support Agency is now looking for the swine responsible

At university I sat an exam on inheritance tax. I got 40 per cent

My car is like a baby – it goes nowhere without a rattle

Obesity cures wrinkles

A man’s house is a squatter’s castle

Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs

‘Mum, why do eight different men keep visiting our house at night?’ ‘Shut up and eat your caviar’

A replacement for electricity is light years away

The Ikea football team play with a flat pack four

.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2624243/Heard-one-pensioner-invented-one-worlds-shortest-jokes-Man-76-uses-three-word-funny-break-record-one-liners-60-seconds.html

If you ever get attacked by a pack of clowns..........

Go for the juggler........

I used to be indecisive but now im not so sure.

Hello, can I interest you in a deal for Everest windows....

No thanks, your prices are too steep.

Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?

My dad always said fight fire with fire...that's why he got kicked out of the fire brigade.

There was a Tim Vine live performance on tonight - The Joke Amotive, an hour of one liners. Was utterly relentless and obviously some groans but lots of funny stuff too.

A farmer said to me "I've got 68 sheep - could you round them up?" "I said sure, 70".

My dad said laughter was the best medicine..that's why i nearly died from diphtheria

A dyslexic went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

polybot 11 Nov 15 02:03
joke not funny but laughed at Anusol

Thank you, polybot, for your honest, if erroneous, appraisal of my original and off-the-cuff wordsmithism.

Your post confirms, in my mind, why you named yourself after a parrot's arse...

Last weeks meeting of the Lethargy Society has just been cancelled.