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These 58 comments are related to the topic:
In order what are your three most pleasurable things in life...
In order what are your three most pleasurable things in life...
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See, eeternaloptimist, that is exactly what I mean.
How can I have a true relationship with a man when I know that however much he likes me he will always be wishing to procreate with any young attractive thing that catches his eye. Even if this attractive female is stupid and nasty. Men are just sooo different to us. When I am with a man I do not look at another man, they do not interest me in the slightest. I wish it was the same for men  I know men say they are only dreaming and would not be unfaithful, but that is not the point. |
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The question is whether you are going for the right men annie? Of course there are men as you describe. Probably many. Equally there are kind and good men who are perfectly capable of loving a woman and only her. I wouldn't presume to make assumptions but the only thing which comes to my mind about you is a previous comment I attribute to you at the back of my mind about you being in a relationship with a younger man at some time in the recent past. That may be true or not and indeed relevant or not. If so the question which springs to mind is what do you truly desire?
It's funny. If you get the chance, google Tom Hardy's you tube interview about Charlie Bronson who he played in the film Bronson. Tom's at a low ebb in his life when he gets advice from the last person he should get advice from but paradoxically it make sense to him. Not that I'm Charlie Bronson.  |
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Put another way I cast my mind back to when I was a young man and I very much admired a lady who worked in my local library. She was stunningly beautiful but of particular interest to me was that despite only being in her late 30's she had allowed herself to grow her hair naturally which had turned grey. A woman so at ease with herself is incredibly sexy.
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Ah, but would she have been so sexy , even with grey hair, if she had been fat and ugly? Of course not
 However, even in my prime when I could have had most men, I have fancied men who have been fat and ugly because they were REAL MEN and made me laugh. That is the difference between men and women. Men would fancy me but they did not appreciate my intelligence only my long fair hair and blue eyes. How can you have a real relationship based on physical attributes. |
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You said what do I truly desire? I think at this stage of my life just someone who makes me laugh, is easy going and that I have a lot in common with. But I am not looking. I just want to be on my own at the moment with no hassle. I love my own company.
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In answer to part one of your question that would depend. As a man you'd need to see something else and that tends to come with being around someone. When I was nursing my best friend at the time was what people would call fat. Could I have envisaged being in a relationship with her? In the right circumstances I think I could have. The short answer is you can't have a real relationship based purely on physical attributes but you can have plenty of fun and heartache finding that out.
My point was that the woman in the library wasn't beautiful because she was beautiful but because she carried her beauty lightly. Almost as an incidental to her as a person. |
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Almost without exception I'd say the happiest and most fulfilled people I've known are people who have given of themselves to others. Each to their own but happy and fulfilled is damned sexy.
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Almost incidental? Rubbish! Would you have noticed her unless she had been 'stunningly beautiful', of course not!
But that is not to denigrate men. Men are different and it is not their fault that this is so. You cannot judge men for looking for beauty above other attributes. It is just the way they are made. You also cannot judge them for not being as kind as women, again it is just the way men are. But as a female it is disappointing. |
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I disagree annie. I and many other men would notice someone for many reasons. Yes beauty is one of those but there are others. If we truly are such shallow and fickle creatures you are surely best off without us? One of the most beautiful people I know is a late 50's Afrikans woman who is a big mama and I doubt anybody seeing a picture of her would describe her as beautiful but beautiful is what she is and that beauty comes from within and she radiates it.
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I'll bid you goodnight and wish you happiness.
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Goodnight, thank you
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You two are so sweet,when in actuality women profess to believe all the right values but it always comes down to physical attraction for one thing but wealth and security for another.Seen it too often when women (and men) say one thing but deliver another form of behaviour when the chance presents itself.
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sorry to interrupt the dear deidre sketch eo & annie
sporting 1.morning of 1st day cheltenham festival 2.sunday afternoon open golf 3 super bowl night always have a party personal 1.the look on my daughters face when she told me she was having a baby,after a few years of heartache 2.driving a new car for the 1st time 3.early morning walk by the sea |
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Sporting would be the roar of the crowd as the first race gets under way at the festival.
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SlippyBlue must have aged well.
And congratulations. Hope you have at least 25 happy years more. |
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1. Sitting with a warm winter sun coming through the windows while I stare at cumulus nimbus clouds in a blue sky.
2. Walking very early on a summers morning. 3. Drinking a quality beer in a good pub with good company. |
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I'll bid you goodnight and wish you happiness.
A very touching exchange with Annie, EO. However, you do know that she is really Comrade Karla, don't you?  |
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In no particular order ...
1. Starting a new thread and having some good chit-chatting with my fellow wise forumites 2. Asking a difficult question on this forum and getting useful advice 3. Having spectacular sex with the 2 neighbours from next door - either side - while my wife has gone shopping, while at the same time eating a nice barbecued steak and drinking a glass of chilled pinot grigio.  |
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Very good Arley.
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