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Aunty Post
18 Sep 15 13:24
Joined:
Date Joined: 14 Nov 03
| Topic/replies: 12,444 | Blogger: Aunty Post's blog
Big birthday looming and I can't help thinking back to youth and great times.

1968 I dated the most stunning girl who was the MD's PA.

She came over to my office one morning with a memo, and without asking proceeded to organise my filing cabinet.

She must have felt my eyes burning on her and she knew what she was doing (Mills & Boon stuff coming)!

Asked her out the following day, and drove off the square to pick her up, as we didn't want to be seen.

Taking her home to Otley to change, and we were barely 200 yards up the road, and she said "do you know what bestiality is"!

I joked that I was away from school when they did about that. Straight back at me "do you know what cunnilingus is" and I said "an airline"!

How we laughed.....Laugh

My God did that set the mood for some fantastic days ahead!
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Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 1:44 PM BST
Blimey, doesn't seem two minutes since your last milestone birthday when you were watching serious money piling into my current accounts,
from various pension payments and matured investments.September 24th if I remember correctly. WinkWink
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 1:45 PM BST
wish it was my accounts!
Report SlippyBlue September 18, 2015 1:52 PM BST
I pulled some random when I lived in Spain and whilst in the middle of a sweaty session I called her by my ex wife's name. It didn't go down too well and she had a major hissy fit and stormed off. Honestly, women can be so unreasonable sometimes.
Report SlippyBlue September 18, 2015 1:55 PM BST
Got the thread title the wrong way around!
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 1:55 PM BST
Christ kenny, I know that you're a good guy from way back when, but are you saving quotes somewhere, as I can't believe you can remember word for word?
Report mememe September 18, 2015 1:59 PM BST
I'll resist posting the "so do you all play for the same team" joke.

So I won't.
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 2:01 PM BST
I didn't Aunty. Surreptitious copy and paste job.Grin
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 2:08 PM BST
I'll resist posting the "so do you all play for the same team" joke.

Oh, spoilsport!
Report HH Sultan Vinegar September 18, 2015 2:11 PM BST
'is it in yet?' a shocking emission
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 2:13 PM BST
I've pulled so many chicks over the years but the only one that really stands out was at Leeds Mecca, circa '71. I was having a grapple, sorry slow dance and the girl leant over and whispered in my ear. IWYTFMITA. I even remember the song, it was Diana Ross, "I'm still waiting". So is the chick. Not my scene at all.
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 2:35 PM BST
I don't think foreplay was invented back then!

Walked into "The Star & Garter" one night and it was more rammed than I ever saw it. Fighting through to the bar and came face to face with this gorgeous girl and, no introduction, don't know what her name was, and fell into the most passionate clinch.
Never found her again all night!Cry
Report mememe September 18, 2015 2:35 PM BST
Kenny,
I've worked out your acronym (I'd wonder (if) you'd like a threesome frolic with my mate, if that's acceptable.

I think you had a lucky excape there.

WDLaugh
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 2:40 PM BST
Strange thing is how reading said acronym (never seen before) and it reads perfectly!
Report Eeternaloptimist September 18, 2015 2:49 PM BST
Filthy beasts. Laugh
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 2:58 PM BST
Spent far too much time at "The Queen Hotel" in Morley but we would sometimes head off later to one of several other places of ill repute.

One such place there was always a pretty girl with another group but whilst we flirted I never spoke to her.

One night at chucking out time she was right next to me when I went to the car.
Offered her a lift, and less than 2 minutes later we were parked behind her house.

Most on here won't know what the hell I'm on about but I was in my "Mk 1 Cortina GT".

One novel new feature was a deep dished steering wheel. This was said to be a safety feature, but it never was!!!
Report HH Sultan Vinegar September 18, 2015 3:03 PM BST
a still taken during the making of Lock Up Your Daughters

.
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 3:19 PM BST
Brilliant HH....ExcitedLaugh
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 3:21 PM BST
I still gave her one mememe, but not up the tradesman's. Laugh
Report mecca September 18, 2015 3:22 PM BST
''Hope you don't mind, but I've brought my rat with me''

First (and only) date with bird, and she was quite fit. She had her pet rat down her top, said she took it everywhere with her.
Report lumponlarge September 18, 2015 3:24 PM BST
Slippy ... what was his name ... Harry Geveaux from Henlow ?
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 3:25 PM BST
I was in The Queen Morley last week funnily enough.

Was also quite a regular at the Star and Garter, bit of a rough hole. Later when it became was it The Barcelona, I was in one night with a mate and 2 girls dragged us on to the dance floor. The song playing was Gang Bang.As they started performing the appropriate actions for the song, I remember my mate quipping "blimey we've not even shaken hands yet" lol
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 3:27 PM BST
I was in The Queen Morley last week funnily enough.

You might have said hello! Sad
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 3:29 PM BST
Tell you what kenny.... the young 'uns think they know it all but they haven't a clue!
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 3:40 PM BST
When in Morley, which is about once a month I usually pop in the recently opened Weherspoons (The Picture House)

Did you know the assistant Lord Mayor of Morley, Stuart Welham? He used to pop in The Queen regularly and we used to meet up for a beer. A right character. Sadly died about 4 years ago.
Report Eeternaloptimist September 18, 2015 4:51 PM BST
It wasn't a date (honest) but I danced over to a vision of loveliness standing next to the bar on her own to knock her bandy with a bit of verbal magic and I was well into my spiel when I asked this beauty for her name:

Brian was the reply.

It was what we knew in those days as a bloke in drag but in these more enlightened times as a budding transexual. One of my rugby club pals was busy snogging Brian's pal on the dance floor by this time. I guess he hadn't bothered with introductions given his reaction on being informed.
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 5:01 PM BST
No kenny.

Any connections I had with Morley were severed, after the loss of mum and dad, and finally my elder sister six years ago.

Frankly the place is a sh!t hole, and I can't bring to mind one redeeming feature, other than to say it is not quite as much of a sh!t hole as is Batley,
and a few other West Yorkshire, once thriving towns, that are now more reminiscent of Mumbai!

Just so glad that I have zero reason to ever go to any of this area.

Having said that, I do go to my son's beautiful place in Roberttown but, rather than  drop off the M62 at Birstall, and having to go through the depressing misery of the Huddersfield Road, I take the longer route, and drop in through the better side at Cooper Bridge.
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 5:05 PM BST
I consider it a quaint little market town, Aunty, although I only go during the day. Therin may lie the difference.

Just drive down the road to Bradford. Now that's a sihthole, although hopefully it may pick up with the imminent opening of the new shopping centre.
Report MadVlad September 18, 2015 6:19 PM BST
Aunty Post 18 Sep 15 15:29 Joined: 14 Nov 03 | Topic/replies: 10,717 | Blogger: Aunty Post's blog
Tell you what kenny.... the young 'uns think they know it all but they haven't a clue!


^ Well thats one of the most inaccurate posts I've seen in awhile,the youngsters these days are way ahead of their time. My laddie who is 20 told me a couple of months ago the girls want "bum sex" as they wont risk getting preggers Crazy
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 6:43 PM BST
Best thing was when my in laws moved from Wilsden to Skipton, thereby ceasing to have to go from the 606, across the most depressing,
and unavoidable route imaginable.

The only thing we took advantage of every time, was to do a slight detour to "Mumtaz" on Gt Horton Road, to stock up on Indian Sweets for
ourselves, and some friends with Indian connections.
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 6:49 PM BST
Well thats one of the most inaccurate posts I've seen in awhile,the youngsters these days are way ahead of their time.

Have you never heard of the reputation of '60s art students?
Report Aunty Post September 18, 2015 6:56 PM BST
Oh, and have these "bum sex" girls not heard of "the pill" and other devices?
Report MadVlad September 18, 2015 6:59 PM BST
dont shoot the messenger sannnnnnn
Report Eeternaloptimist September 18, 2015 7:02 PM BST
They can't be that clued up then Vlad. In a couple of decades if they get plenty of anal action they may be wearing adult nappies. Laugh
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 7:08 PM BST
MadVlad


Well thats one of the most inaccurate posts I've seen in awhile,the youngsters these days are way ahead of their time. My laddie who is 20 told me a couple of months ago the girls want "bum sex" as they wont risk getting preggers Crazy



I've pulled so many chicks over the years but the only one that really stands out was at Leeds Mecca, circa '71. I was having a grapple, sorry slow dance and the girl leant over and whispered in my ear. IWYTFMITA. I even remember the song, it was Diana Ross, "I'm still waiting". So is the chick. Not my scene at all.


Do you want me to spell out?  Wink
Report MadVlad September 18, 2015 7:18 PM BST
No because I'm under 60 and my mind is not fecked with dementia Plain
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 7:37 PM BST
I meant the 9 letters. Shocked
Report MadVlad September 18, 2015 7:40 PM BST
Crazy
Report Foinavon September 18, 2015 7:40 PM BST
Better watch out Kenny, or get some of those latex thingumabobs.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34269315
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 7:54 PM BST
Heard that on the radio this morning, Foinavon. Don't worry I'm all talk.
Report Foinavon September 18, 2015 8:35 PM BST
Would never have believed it Kenny, I was sure you were having a different chick every night Wink You have shattered my illusions.
Report akabula September 18, 2015 9:28 PM BST
I was sure you were having a different chick every night

So did Kenny but it was just his bad memory. Grin
Report STUDYFORM September 18, 2015 9:32 PM BST
I had to meet a nurse called Julie for a first date, outside Whitechapel underground station, we were to go to the pub where my mates were for half an hour, then go on somewhere else Grin.
Anyway there had been a delay in the trains and I was about half an hour late.
She was still waiting outside when I got there, "Sorry", I said. "Train was held up".

"That's alright" she replied,
"It's just that I'm dying for a shiit".

Well I was a little bit surprised, I don't think a woman had ever said that to me before.

Anyway, we got to the pub. Only a five minute walk away. The toilets were outside, so I entered alone while she dived into them.
My mates were there;
"I thought you were meeting a bird" says one, "Yeah, where is she?"
Well not thinking, nor being particularly chivalrous, I told them "She said she needed a shiit!".

As you can imagine, when she walked in a few minutes later to my mates' grins and questions about whether it was safe to go in there etc etc, we just had the one drink and left.

She was OK was Julie.
Report akabula September 18, 2015 9:37 PM BST
Thanks for sharing that SF, such a lovely poignant story.
Report Just Checking September 18, 2015 9:45 PM BST
I suppose nurses are used to being around bodily functions and so just are more likely to call a spade a spade than say ... a beautician. A beautician is more likely to call tangerine a normal skin colour, so it kind of balances out Blush.
Report kenny mann September 18, 2015 10:04 PM BST
akabula
18 Sep 15 21:37
Joined: 13 Mar 08
| Topic/replies: 15,153 | Blogger: akabula's blog
Thanks for sharing that SF, such a lovely poignant story.



Laugh
Report EricShunn September 18, 2015 10:29 PM BST
Many years ago when I was young and in my prime having enjoyed an afternoon at the July corse walked a young lady back across the heath to Newmarket. "I'm  hot" she said as she removed her dress. Had no problem achieving my nomenclature that summer evening.
Report Just Checking September 19, 2015 12:04 AM BST
Did the collar match the cuffs?
Had no problem achieving my nomenclature making this post.
Report Pokermonster September 19, 2015 1:47 AM BST
Did anyone else not find the original post a tad disturbing? 

As to Kenny's Countdown conundrum, I could only get up to five: witty, fatty and amity.  All of which, rather coincidentally, brought to mind my first date.
Report screaming from beneaththewaves September 19, 2015 9:45 AM BST
But did you achieve your nomenclature?
Report Gin September 19, 2015 11:16 AM BST
Just Checking
18 Sep 15 21:45
Joined: 25 Jun 06
| Topic/replies: 17,172 | Blogger: Just Checking's blog
I suppose nurses are used to being around bodily functions and so just are more likely to call a spade a spade than say


This is true. I remember c.1988 going to a party at nurses accommodation in Roehampton (my mates sister was one of the nurses).

Anyway, in the morning, I was talking to her and without batting an eyelid she walked into the toilet dropped her knickers and had a pee in full view. To say I was surprised was a bit of an understatement!
Report s.kenbo September 19, 2015 11:42 AM BST
Is it in yet?!
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