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For example:
Has somebody cut the Cheese?
(A posh way of asking if somebody has passed wind)
Has somebody cut the Cheese?
(A posh way of asking if somebody has passed wind)
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Heavy bones,thick set,slow metabolism =fat b@stard
"Asian" = Pakistani Moslem
(spelling told me to say that)
(spelling told me to say that)
From the world of estate agents
Vibrant = ghetto
Has potential = about to fall down
Cosy = tiny
Well presented = they've tidied up a bit before taking the photos
Vibrant = ghetto
Has potential = about to fall down
Cosy = tiny
Well presented = they've tidied up a bit before taking the photos
also
Easy maintained garden - so tiny that investing in a lawnmower would be a waste of money
Easy maintained garden - so tiny that investing in a lawnmower would be a waste of money
Convenient for local transport links = next to a train track overlooking the M25
Central location = impossible to park car anywhere near property.
Straight A student = a bit thick and went to Syria to find a husband
Spending more time with the family = retiring from politics after being exposed for adultery.
He was a promising footballer who loved his mum = smoked weed, was on the dole, involved in gangs and stole from his mothers purse.
"We believe the new site has significant benefits for customers because of the extra features it offers"
= we hope the new site is ok, we haven't fully tested it yet so let us know when you find any faults
= we hope the new site is ok, we haven't fully tested it yet so let us know when you find any faults
Not a favourite as such but one I remember very well on growing up was "She's (he's) very stiff" as a euphemism for someone who was fat.
It always annoyed me. Why call someone stiff if they were fat?
I hadn't heard it for years until last year when someone was telling me about a woman who had died and had two sisters.
Upon me asking which sister it was he said "The very stiff one".
"Do you mean the one who was the fattest of the two who were fat?"
"Yes. The very stiff one".
Madness!
It always annoyed me. Why call someone stiff if they were fat?
I hadn't heard it for years until last year when someone was telling me about a woman who had died and had two sisters.
Upon me asking which sister it was he said "The very stiff one".
"Do you mean the one who was the fattest of the two who were fat?"
"Yes. The very stiff one".
Madness!
"we're working very closely wit the French" = feck all is being done
Weather reports saying "less close" - meaning: bloody freezing.
you dont look at the mantlepiece when you are poking the fire = you know what
its like throwing a sausage down the high street = you know what
you say to the wife 'i'm off out to the cider and cheese festival' = 'i'm off out to the hide the sausage festival'
My computer is full of viruses = I've been looking at loads of porn.
I used to go out with a girl who would tell me when "the painters and decorators are in"
"I've got a lizard in the watering can!!!" - a female friend of mine suggesting she's "getting it" tonight.
He could peel an orange in his pocket - tight cnunt.
He wouldn't give you the steam off his pi55/shiit - tight cnunt.
He's canny - tight cnunt.
He's careful - tight cnunt.
Mattress back - lady we liked to meet when randy.
She's flattened some grass in her time - same lady.
Spooge bucket - she's getting some tap that lass.
He wouldn't give you the steam off his pi55/shiit - tight cnunt.
He's canny - tight cnunt.
He's careful - tight cnunt.
Mattress back - lady we liked to meet when randy.
She's flattened some grass in her time - same lady.
Spooge bucket - she's getting some tap that lass.
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