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Pokermonster
13 Apr 15 19:58
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Date Joined: 14 Sep 04
| Topic/replies: 12,992 | Blogger: Pokermonster's blog
My cousin (an only child) didn't get along too well with her father, nothing too drastic just they hadn't spoken much in about two years.  Sadly, her mother then died following a long illness but, in the weeks after this bereavement, their relationship did improve somewhat.  That changed drastically, however, when he started dating another lady about ten months later.  Within six weeks of meeting they had married.  Nothing wrong with that, of course, as they were both quite elderly.  But then, completely out of the blue, my cousin's father died of a heart attack two months into his new marriage.

Everything (and it was a considerable sum) went to my cousin's step-mother, a total stranger.  It was a bitter pill to swallow because all of the family's wealth came from her mother side.  To cap it all, the widow also died quite shortly afterwards and everything passed down to her children!

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Replies: 41
By:
Facts
When: 13 Apr 15 20:04
The many ( sudden ) deaths, lead one to be sceptical about this story imo.
By:
Pokermonster
When: 13 Apr 15 20:07
Three elderly people dying of natural causes within eighteen months should hardly raise suspicion, sir, it's just the misfortune of my cousin's inheritance going to total strangers that is noteworthy.
By:
Facts
When: 13 Apr 15 20:08
Ok, fair enough.
By:
Pokermonster
When: 13 Apr 15 20:09
But, as I said in the thread's title, I wouldn't be surprised if this situation is more common than one might imagine.
By:
Facts
When: 13 Apr 15 20:11
Was there a Will, officially declaring who was to receive what ?
By:
Pokermonster
When: 13 Apr 15 20:12
The story would take on a whole different complexion when told from the beneficiaries' perspective of course!
By:
Pokermonster
When: 13 Apr 15 20:15
Regarding your question about wills, the honest answer is I don't know.  Presumably, either the deceased died intestate and everything went to next of kin, or there was a will and it specified the spouse.
By:
Facts
When: 13 Apr 15 20:18
If it were the former, then there could have been a doubt as to what his wishes were. It is so important to make a Will. And it shouldn't be put off just because you may not be old.
By:
Pokermonster
When: 13 Apr 15 20:20
I don't know exactly how much hard cash was involved, but the estate included a nice five-bedroomed house and a retail shop with long-term tenants.  It must have amounted to a tidy sum.
By:
themightymac
When: 13 Apr 15 20:43
My first reaction is - What kind of a man would do that?

This is a serious question, but






......... To save time I`ll drop the pun first ......... A dead one.
By:
themightymac
When: 13 Apr 15 20:44
Surely she should have contested the will?
By:
themightymac
When: 13 Apr 15 20:45
That`s not bad luck, that is an injustice.
By:
brendanuk1
When: 13 Apr 15 20:50
why if the dad wanted to leave it to his daughter he could of, seems they didnt get along well, thats just price you pay.
By:
STUDYFORM
When: 13 Apr 15 20:56
Exactly what happened to me, Pokermonster.
My mum died after a hospital ****-up in 2000, she was just 59.
Our previously fairly close knit extended family seemed to sort of lose touch after her passing.

My dad met and married another woman about 5 years later.
We, (my brother and I - the only offspring) were still very much in touch and went to the wedding, my dad having even asked for my permission!!

Gradually our contact became less and less and they moved to Spain.
My dad had closed his business and sold the property, and his house and taken everything with him (and her). Then, suddenly almost exactly 4 years ago, she phoned my ex-mrs to tell her he had died the day before, he'd had a stroke and was ill for 24 hours or so, but she couldn't let anyone know as the "phone lines were all down".

I phoned her, as did my brother, and she made it clear she didn't want either of us to attend what was to be a very quite, small funeral and that we wouldn't be able to stay at the house and she wasn't sure when it would be, etc.

I had just opened my own business and was ill to boot and after much discussion with my ex and kids and my brother decided (and it was a hard decision) to not go to Spain for the funeral, although I wish I had gone.

We phoned frequently, finding ourselves almost apologising to this woman each time, to see how it all went and how SHE was.
After about a week, my brother called and she just said "What do you want?" followed by "If you're after your legacy, you can whistle for it".

I had never had a bad word with her (in fact we'd only met a few times) and I rang too, she asked me what I wanted, I said to see how she was.
She said "I'm fine" and hung up.

My family's money, everything my parents had worked (bloody hard) for, all possessions, pensions, premium bonds, savings, property the lot.... all to a total stranger.
So, I contacted a solicitor in Spain. He was most helpful and did some digging around. It seems that within one week of my dad's death she had reverted to one of her (3) previous surnames and he could find no trace of any possessions or money or bank accounts in the UK indeed anything at all, which we would have needed to establish a right to 1/3rd of the estate, We also tried various banks and insurers and got nowhere.

He also found a Spanish drawn-up will which in the event of either death, all would go to the other. In the event of both going together, everything to go to a Spanish Animal charity.
We are convinced this woman Poisoned his mind and for all we know, his body too.

My ex-Mrs phoned her and asked if she would kindly send all the family pictures and some knick knacks for his grand-children (my kids had actually been there to visit him just a few months earlier too - He even promised my daughter the ring he was wearing "when he was gone".
She never sent anything, she never contacted any of us again and never answered the phone.

We reckon there would have been a total wealth of anything up to about a million in our estimation. She has one son, who was supposedly estranged, although he was at their wedding and seemed a reasonable chap to me. I have no idea who or where he lives, or anything else about him come to that.

What I do know is that if she hasn't already passed it on to him (she is still only 70 or 71), he will be the recipient of ALL my parents ever had.

I am bitter, angry and feel wronged.
All that should have gone to my brother, me, and our kids, lost.
We're not rich and certainly for the last few years and probably for the future, could have and be having a less stressful, healthier existence.

Not a day goes by when I don't wonder how it all came to this and what I can do.
By:
Pokermonster
When: 13 Apr 15 21:30
Very sorry to hear that, Study.  You're right, it's almost the identical situation as my cousin.  To add insult to injury in her case, she still lives in the same town as the stepmother's beneficiaries so has to walk by her former home and shop, both of which she feels very bitter about.
By:
olddesperado
When: 13 Apr 15 21:38
jesus studyform i.d be bitter too.

That really is a disgrace and the law should be looked at as thats so unfair.
By:
STUDYFORM
When: 13 Apr 15 21:45
Spanish law is different and, it seems, fairer than ours.
However, we were buggered because we couldn't find a single asset in the UK.
If we had, the law would have forced her into sharing.
By:
themightymac
When: 13 Apr 15 21:47
She should have shared it out of common decency imo.
By:
olddesperado
When: 13 Apr 15 21:49
Sounds like she knew what she was doing and had all her ducks in a row im afraid
By:
STUDYFORM
When: 13 Apr 15 21:58
As PM says, it probably happens more often than we realise.
A Black Widow (as we've dubbed her) is a bit lacking in common decency.

It's beyond me how people can be like it and I couldn't imagine behaving in that way.

If there's one thing I've learned through the years, it's that life isn't fair.
By:
wit-ham
When: 13 Apr 15 22:22
Same nearly happened to my brothers and me
not a big inheritance.
My mum died when only 51 and then dad brought up
the 3 of us.Around 10 years later his best mate from
army days died and he grew close to his widow and talked about getting married.
As with Studyform he asked our permission as to if it was ok and he was mid 60's
at this time,we all said yes.
He never did get married as the stumbling block was he was going to put in a will
that everything passed to us on his death with provision for her to live on in the
house until her death.She thought that was unfair on her own kids she had 5 from her previous
husband.
By:
SlippyBlue
When: 13 Apr 15 22:30
STUDYFORM, that's an awful story. I'm having my own battle on inheritance right now, over £10 million in the middle. I just want it all shared equally, others don't...
By:
akabula
When: 13 Apr 15 22:35
Sensible action from your Dad wit-ham.
Unfortunately common sense goes out the window for most in this situation.
So good on your Dad for putting his family's interest before his own.
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 13 Apr 15 22:38
Christ these stories are upsetting.

Just shows what nasty bastards are out there.

If this happened to me I'd find it very hard not to pay a hitman to carry out a job for me.
By:
SlippyBlue
When: 13 Apr 15 23:05
Mr. E. It's absolutely sickening, 4 against 2, my own flesh and blood. Mum is not even cold in her grave. I'm so angry right now and that is not in my nature to feel such an emotion.
By:
BARROWBOY
When: 13 Apr 15 23:11
Did your mum not leave a will slippy?
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 13 Apr 15 23:14
Christ Slippy that sounds unpleasant. Condolences on your mothers passing.

Greed. Pure greed.
By:
i_agree_with_nick
When: 13 Apr 15 23:17
Sorry to hear about the passing of your mother, Slippy. I think I remember reading a while back that she was very poorly.
By:
wit-ham
When: 13 Apr 15 23:27
Sorry to hear about your mum Slippy
By:
Facts
When: 13 Apr 15 23:33
A lawfully drawn up and witnessed Will is the only proper solution.
By:
Big_Issue
When: 14 Apr 15 08:15
This happened to my mum, her Dad got a new 'partner' after her Mum died and she (and hence her family) got the lot. Their family even came up to ours at the Funeral to tell us that everything was theirs, didn't even ask my mum if there was anything she might want. To cop it all my Mum's real mum (she was adopted) got in touch with her when dying. She went to see her etc and then got nothing from her either, so in effect a double whammy.
By:
bix
When: 14 Apr 15 08:22
A marriage after a will has been made revokes the will leaving it invalid.
By:
pumphol.
When: 14 Apr 15 09:10
Some very sad stories here, I was left some money by my Aunt, her & her husband had no children, there was another nephew on my Uncles side & my Uncle  died a year earlier than my Aunt, unbeknown to my Aunt the other nephew had taken my Uncle a few months before he died ( he had early dementia )  to another solicitor to do another  will making  him the main beneficiary if he outlived my Aunt which would only have been valid if my Aunt died first, she had left each of us 20% of the estate & the other 60% to two charities,  greed is a cancer in itself imo.
By:
themightymac
When: 14 Apr 15 17:28
Money is the root of all evil.
By:
Hank Hill
When: 14 Apr 15 17:32
Some awful stuff on here - Study that is truly horrific. You are obviously made of strong stuff though mate.
By:
STUDYFORM
When: 14 Apr 15 17:49
Slippy, sorry about your mum, mate.
I hope everyone just calms down and settles for a fair share, so often greed raises its ugly head at times like these.

Hank, not so much strong stuff as resigned to things generally turning out crap.
Also, nothing I can do about it. Sad
By:
themightymac
When: 14 Apr 15 18:14
I sympathise with all the posters who have been unfairly treated. My sister was the sole beneficiary when my Uncle died about 20 years ago. His wife had died a few years earlier and she had no siblings or living relatives. They didn`t have any children and so we were their only direct relatives. My sister got the lot. tbh it didn`t really bother any of her other siblings but she split the estate equally among all of us and I know for a fact that if roles were reversed we all would have done the same.
By:
lfc1971
When: 14 Apr 15 23:14
A beautiful thing really for your sister to do.
By:
Facts
When: 15 Apr 15 03:30
bix     14 Apr 15 08:22 
A marriage after a will has been made revokes the will leaving it invalid.



Hence the need to  keep it updated.
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