Name______________________________________________ ____________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________ __________________________________________________ __________________ __________________________________________________ _________________ ________________________________________ (If longer please continue on a separate sheet)
School __________________________________
Daddy's/Mummy's Company ____________________________
1. Simon smashes up daddys car, causing x amount of damage and killing 3 people. Daddy asks his local Chief Constable to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people.
What car is Simon driving now?
2. Fiona's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Fiona doesn't even notice the difference.
Is she thick or what?
3. Tristram fancies the ar$e off a certain number of debutantes, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious.
If he has 14 tablets of Rohypnol, how is he ever going to **** the other two thirds?
4. If Verity throws up 4 times a day for a week she can fit into a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up 3 times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce & Gabbana.
How much does liposuction cost?
5. Henry is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every thirdweek.